REVIEW: Most Haunted - Series 21 Episode 5 (16th February 2018) Beaumanor Hall Part 2

I have finally managed to stop repeatedly poking myself in the eyes after watching last weeks episode, so while I have my sight, what better time than now to review the second part of the Beaumanor Hall "Investigation".

Since my review last week it has been pointed out to me that some people will read this review the same time they are watching the episode, as some kind of colourful walk-through. And that is something this idiot never even thought people would do. So I will keep that in mind from now on.

I write these reviews so that people don't have to watch, but if you are going to watch anyway, then yes why not read and watch at the same time.

With that said I open that bottle of "Natural Redhead Hair Colour", empty out its contents, and at the very bottom of the bottle is some small writing, oh look it is the blurb for this weeks episode.

"Spook-searching with Yvette Fielding and co! Still in Beaumanor Hall, Yvette and her team venture into the abyss of the cellars where the darkness suddenly seems to come to life."

Where as the entire Film Industry, TV Industry, even noobs on Youtube would use "Previously on...." Most Haunted have to be different and instead we get...

We are then reminded of the awfulness of last week's episode. Karl pressing the button on his walkie talkie to set off the EMF Meters, (Yes that is how he did it, go back and watch last week with headphones on, and you will hear the clicking the first time, and after he edits it out.)

Reminder of Yvette moaning, and people getting scared of nothing, as well as things only happening OFF CAMERA.

So before the investigation starts it is time for my weekly predictions.

1. There will be a carefully choreographed argument.
2. A door will slam by itself OFF CAMERA.
3. Something will be thrown OFF CAMERA.
4. There will be a ridiculously bad experiment that will make everyone roll their eyes.
5. Karl will perform a stunt.


Yvette is in a downstairs tunnel, very wide tunnel, a lot of damp and dust, reminds me of Karl's colonoscopy from last year. (Get yourself checked lads, no excuses any more.)

I do like Yvette's look here, it really does seem familiar.

Yvette and Glen are walking around the cellar area, Glen is not impressed at all. Yvette is doing her best to try and drum up some interest.

Glen is playing pocket billiards while looking Yvette straight in the eyes, I can only imagine the filth he has running through his mind right there.

Suddenly we jump to the investigation and Yvette is back with Karl, some poor pacing here. Yvette is hearing noises already. A squeaky door becomes a ghost talking.

While talking about noises Karl says...
"It's like everything is a couple of steps behind you"

Karl is literally stood a couple of steps behind Yvette as he says this.
I will take this as him admitting he is the cause of all the noises and things that will happen to Yvette this evening.

Picture in picture shots like this are often used to show that everyone is accounted for, yet seemingly it does not occur to any of the believers that firstly the super imposed picture has to be put on in post production, so could have been filmed at any time, not to mention they have numerous members of crew that never appear on camera.

Also someone asked me where Stuart was, and I can confirm that despite the rumours he is not in rehab, 100% definitely not in rehab, he is just on holiday.

Karl and Yvette are investigating a room, and suddenly Karl closes the door leaving Yvette on her own inside, which means that it is time for the carefully choreographed weekly argument.

Yvette is over-acting while Karl makes sure to film himself smirking and laughing to camera.

"Now I cant trust you" - Yvette Fielding.

Back with Glen, Fred etc and a door has slammed OFF CAMERA.

In the room with Yvette and Karl, and apparently some photos have moved by themselves, but as usual it was OFF CAMERA.

Yvette changes up the teams, and is going to conduct a Morse code table seance experiment thingy.

Glen says he can feel the table tremble, that will be because of the 3 of them touching the table, and the table being on an uneven floor.

Fred is doing his nonsense incantations.

Always helps the ghosts if the table has wheels on it. One of the old sayings of the SNU. (Spiritualists' National Union).

Glen has a Morse Code app on his phone, and that is on the table. I don't think it will pick up anything, mainly due to Karl not knowing Morse Code.

Glen types in a word and the phone app makes the noises in Morse Code.
If Glen was clever he would have pre-programmed it to say "This show is bollocks" in Morse Code.

As Fred is spouting his crap, Darren says there was a ghost behind him, of course nothing is caught on camera.

As the phone is repeatedly making noises on the table, Yvette says she can feel the table moving, vibrating etc. Yes that would be the phone love, it is literally right in front of you.

The phone is face up, and guess where the speaker is on the phone? Yes it is on the side touching the table.

Ok the whole table gimmick is getting boring now, and the noise from the Morse Code app is annoying as hell.

Darren has decided to bugger off on his own and leave Fred behind.

The phone is still beeping out "Hello" in Morse Code. At last they stop it. Thank god for that.

Ok they are waiting for the ghosts to tap, but hang on a second, Glen is imputing the taps to the phone himself, it is not picking up the taps automatically.

The audio feed is not picking up any taps, so this whole "experiment" is a shambles.

Darren is now running away and hiding from Fred. Not the first time someone has done that I am sure.

Darren and Fred then have a choreographed argument, did no one tell them that Yvette and Karl had already done one?

Glen is still desperately trying to get something out of this Morse Code nonsense.

Hilariously they are talking in Morse Code to the ghosts, and then asking the ghosts to reply with "1 tap for yes, 2 for no".

It is a good job this is all self funded, could you imagine anyone actually paying people to output this nonsense?

Darren and Fred are now doing a ridiculous over the top Benny Hill scene, running away from each other.

This is bad TV, whoever thought this should make the final cut is an idiot. Did Karl really thing this was funny? I know the MH fans are a bit dim, but even they are not so stupid as to find that nonsense entertaining.

Back with Glen and somehow he has come up with the name Eric Topple and 1943. Keep in mind that we cannot hear any tapping, we cannot hear any Morse Code from the ghosts at all.

Of course the name and date match, this was about as blatant a set up as they have ever done. At least Derek Acorah put some effort into names he came up with, this is just blatant bullshit. And then you realise that the ghost is not even talking in Morse Code, Glen is just pointing to the Letters/Numbers on the phone screen and then the ghost (Karl) is tapping. This whole thing is a joke. And despite the obvious fakery, lack of controls etc, the pretend skeptic, Glen, claims to be very impressed.

Here is how you instantly debunk this.
Get a nice big iPad, bring up the keyboard, turn the iPad upside down, blindfold everyone present, and whoever is in charge move their finger across the keyboard, and with no one else able to see the keyboard, press the screen when you hear a tap. When you finish, turn the iPad over and see what was written, I guarantee you, much like how Ouija Boards don't work when people are blindfolded, neither will this nonsense gimmick.

The teams get split up and changed again, Karl is on his own, Glen is with Fred, Darren is with Yvette and Greg.

In Yvette's group, there is a noise, and something has been thrown OFF CAMERA.

Just 10 minutes left, so not long to go guys.

Yvette and the lads are hearing noises again.

Karl is on his own, and hearing noises too, I suspect he has something in mind here, some kind of stunt.

Then bizarrely after one of the lads (maybe Greg?) knocks a table, Yvette says that people have edited videos of her on Youtube that show her knocking the table when it is supposed to be a ghost, and that is why she doesn't knock tables any more so she cant be edited. Now I have never heard of this happening, or seen any videos showing this. I have seen her get caught kicking a table in a Most Haunted Live show, I have seen her faking ghost noises when she thought she wasn't on camera. And whenever anything like this happens, I always direct people to watch official footage direct from the UKTV site, as well as any clip I put on here.

So if anyone has any idea what exactly she is referencing here, please do let me know. The last thing I want is people faking stuff to make them look like they have faked something. We can catch them cheating for real.

I hope Glen doesn't see how close Yvette and Greg are getting here.

With Glen and Fred now and something has been thrown OFF CAMERA. They go off to investigate.

Karl is still begging for something to be moved in the room he is in.

Right at exactly 40 minutes, listen to the audio, right as Karl sighs, the audio is cut and then replaced with Karl talking, then a noise is heard in the other room, he goes to look, then another noise and when he returns a metal container has magically been moved to the middle of the room.

Before

After

I have re-watched the scene a few times, there is no edit in the footage itself, so everything happens in real time, but the audio has been edited.

So here is how it is done.

As soon as you hear him say.

"You're making sounds, not moving anything"

Then he sighs and the audio is edited right after that, so the new audio will have him sighing on, and then that is merged into the original sound file, and that helps cover up the audio switch. During this segment Karl will not film himself talking like he usually does, as that would give the game away.

Then just after Karl says.

"Whatever the bloody hell they are called"

The camera pans up slightly and stays in one place, at this moment Karl moves the metal container with his free hand. Then there is a noise in the other room, he carefully turns while pointing the camera upwards so he doesn't get the metal container in shot, moves to the other room, and then comes back to see the container he moved now in shot.

At 40m 50s, the audio then is switched back to the original recording. Right after Karl says "That's right in the middle of the floor now."

It is all quite well done, but the audio really gives it away.
Here is how he would do it.
Film the scene first.

Then while watching the scene back, record audio of him reacting, that matches the scene he has just shot. Edit in the audio in post production. And job done.

I must admit I prefer fakery like this, than splicing two videos into one. But sorry Karl you can't get anything past me.

And as usual I don't want anyone to just take my word on this, go to the UKTV website, watch the episode on catch-up, or even as it airs this Friday, put your headphones on while you watch, and you should be able to hear the audio edit.

Karl then tries to prove that there is no one else there, hears another noise OFF CAMERA, but nothing has been moved, and then we go back to Yvette.

Quickly back to Karl who is now filming his own face. Note how he never filmed himself at all during the 50 second audio edit.

And the episode then ends.

Now last weeks episode I gave a negative score and called it the worst episode ever, this weeks episode was much better, still awful, but better. Karl made an effort to fool us, and I appreciate that, as recording extra audio to then edit in takes time, and effort, and if he was better at editing audio, then perhaps he could have got it past me, but alas he couldn't so it is another goal for the good guys at BadPsychics.

So I will give this episode a 3 out of 10.

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By Jon Donnis

REVIEW: Celebrity Ghost Hunt - Episode 1 (Nuclear Bunker)

So I am behaving myself for once on Twitter, minding my own business, and Gwen Acorah (The Wife and Boss of Derek) Tweets me.

I ask her when it is on, and I am informed that it has already aired last Tuesday.
Now I was aware of the show, but I had completely mixed it up with Celebrity Haunted Hotel, thinking they were one and the same.

Bit surprised when i heard that this guy was hosting, but I got the names mixed up.

A quick bit of googling, I find the catch up link, and here is my review. But just before that, it seems that Rylan (not the rat), has had a lot of people calling the show fake, here is his response to those accusations.

The fact that he says "Nothing on Celebrity Ghost Hunt is faked" amuses me, and after 20 minutes of trying to find it on catch up, and starting to watch last years live special by mistake, I eventually managed to find it, then it wouldn't work on any browser that has a built in ad blocker, so if you want to watch, you might need to use internet explorer basic or Microsoft Edge.

https://www.my5.tv/celebrity-ghost-hunt/season-1/episode-1

You see that disclaimer at the bottom of the screen?

So we get introduced to the "Celebrities" and the first one is someone called Bobby Norris.

No idea who this "Celebrity" is, but he has so much botox and filler in his face, he could be anyone on the planet. What a strange looking individual. Makes Stuart Torreville look perfectly normal!

Next up is someone from Love Island, Marcel Thingybob.

Again never heard of him, at least Five Star have bothered to put a token black guy on the show, Most Haunted in 21 series I don't think has had a single "ethnic" person on the show, and a perma-tan Derek Acorah does not count before anyone says it.

We get Marnie Simpson next.

Now I have actually heard of her, although again why at her young ages she needs to pump her face full of botox and filler I will never know, she is a naturally beautiful girl even before she had the nose job, most famous for having sex on a TV show, I know her from Celebrity Big Brother.

We get introduced to a couple of the "investigators".

This is Alex Gibbs, a ridiculously pretty Psychic, so she might just get a pass from me! Just kidding of course.

The "Celebs" are given pointless "Ghost Hunting" equipment, and cameras, and are then off to investigate on their own. Hilariously they are being filmed clearly by professional cameramen, who are already in rooms that they are going to investigate in. A huge fail here from a production standpoint.

Bobby Norris is doing his best Yvette Fielding impression, talking to the ghosts, and asking "is there anything here, give us a sound, touch one of us."

Bobby has an EMF meter, it suddenly goes up to 11, and Bobby brilliantly debunks it without realising, by pointing out the typewriter/printer thing they are looking at is electric.

The three of them enter a room, and a professional cameraman is filming them, at no point do they look at the cameraman/camera, talk to him or acknowledge he/she is there. This is really bad. And as you can see there is no need for "night vision" as it is clearly very bright there.

Bobby then tries to talk to the ghost of Margaret Thatcher. Yes really.

To recap, we started the show with Rylan, who then left 3 celebs on their own in a nuclear bunker to investigate, no format to the show, no official direction. Just 3 idiots wandering about, pretending they cannot see the professional cameraman, producer etc telling them what to do and where to go.

And we go to commercial, which is instantly more interesting and credible than anything we have seen so far. Luckily though it looks like we might get Rylan and the hot psychic in the next segment of the show.

As bad as Most Haunted is, it does have an easy to follow format, you know what to expect, and whether you like what they do or not, they do deliver.

Part 2 starts, and Bobby is shitting himself and calling out for Rylan. Hopefully he can drag this show into some kind of semblance of a ghost hunt.

Sexy Psychic Alex is with them now, and she is getting "feelings", says she feels sick and cant breath.

Rylan claims they have now turned off their camera lights, despite the fact there is still obviously a major light on them and they are perfectly lit up in night vision.

Then there is a knocking sound, which could be any of the many off camera crew.
Alex is getting a female presence, she then acts out the routine from Tragedy.

So all we can gather from this is that H from Steps is now a ghost and is haunting a nuclear bunker.

Notice how Rylan after less than 5 minutes "investigating" is already sat on the floor.

Ladies and Gentleman, host of the show Rylan.
He chooses to look like this you know.
To be fair, I will make fun of him, but I do like Rylan, he is fun, and made a career for himself with basically no talent, so good for him for getting paid for jobs like this.

Ghost investigator Ash, uses a "random word generator" to let the ghosties speak to them. Better known as a Spirit Box. Ash is a bit of a "geezer", so surprised that he believes in all this nonsense.

Bottom left of image, spot the professional cameraman, not fazed by anything, keeps his mouth shut and just does his job. I would love to speak to him.

We get a nice shot of the "REM - POD".

I had a look on Amazon and these sell for about £150. No joke.
Here is what it says he can do.

"The REM-POD has an EM Radiating antenna that detects energy disturbances & fluctuations around the antenna and displays any field disturbance using multi-coloured lights AND audible tones!!! The REM pod ATDD (Ambient Temperature Deviation Detection) has a telescopic antenna through which it puts out a EM field around the device.This EM field can be affected by persons or objects around it that conduct electricity. The lights on top will glow brightly depending on the frequency distortion and strength of the object (spirit or human) interacting with it. With the new ATDD(Ambient Temperature Deviation Detection) feature the Rem Pod will alert you of temperature changes using sound. A lower pitch means a drop in temperature, a higher pitch means a increase in temperature."

The celebs are all being silly and over reacting. Ash and sexy psychic are doing their best to take things seriously. And despite the ridiculous equipment and sillyness of the whole thing, I would much rather watch those two without the celebrities.

Alex has gathered them in a circle and is calling out to the spirits.

They can see something in the room behind, of course the cameras don't pick anything up.

They head into the darkened dormitory.

Investigator Ash wishing he hadn't agreed to do the show.

Psychic Alex really is the only one who seems to know what she is doing in this show, she is the "Yvette Fielding" of the crew, telling people what to do, where to go, trying to build the atmosphere and so on. She should have been hosting this show from the start and Rylan should have been one of the celebs taking part.

Thankfully the show hits another commercial break, and we can relax.

Back from break, and it seems like they have had a bit of a reset. They are now in the deepest part of this Nuclear bunker.

"I have been known to be wrong" - Psychic Alex Gibbs

Ash has a new kind of Spirit Box, which is strange since the last one worked so well.

Can someone give Alex Gibbs her own show! Seriously people, this girl is money! She is insanely pretty, very like-able, sounds down to earth. Yes I know she pretends to talk to the dead, but you cant have everything in life.

This is very much a feminism era we are living in, time we had our first ever Ghost Hunting TV show hosted by a woman. It's 2018 for gods sake! Get it done TV gods.

The spirit box is that annoying loud thing that they use on Ghost Adventures, but there is a funny moment here when Rylan shits himself at a static noise coming from the box.

The British Melania Trump.

They hear a noise, and Rylan starts asking if it is members of their production crew, of which there are shitloads.

They go to investigate further, and go into a small room, and Rylan insists they all stop moving. He then gets pissed off cause he can hear someone whispering OFF CAMERA.

Hang on a moment, isn't this John who was part of the Most Haunted crew years ago?

Rylan is listening to a clock. Scintillating television here.

Alex is getting the name "Ray, Raymond". Hmm. Maybe she is confusing herself and she is getting the name Roland. After all i made that mistake at first.

Did you know that Rylan is not his real name, his real name is Ross. And he was named after David Ross Lonsberry a Canadian professional ice hockey left winger who played 15 seasons in the National Hockey League for the Boston Bruins.

Of course that may be a lie I just concocted. But his real name is Ross.

Strangely they are playing faint groaning sounds in post production, and then lowering the volume when someone hears something. I guess it is for atmosphere. I just found it distracting.

Rylan has heard a whistle, I couldn't hear anything in the replay.

A cobweb blows past Rylan's face and he shits himself again.

If this was Most Haunted they would have had loads of things being thrown by now.

Ash has his spirit box out again, and its so annoying, one of the reasons I dislike watching Ghost Adventures so much..

And we go to break, which is good as it means there is only one more segment left.

And just as it comes back, the feed gets stuck and wont play, so I refresh the page and now I have to wait through 5 more ads. Wasn't catch up supposed to make life easier?

I thought I would check to see if I am blocked by Alex on Twitter, and yes I am blocked on my @JonDonnis account, so I am guessing I have had a run in with her before. But not blocked on my @TheBadPsych account! Woohoo!

Ok, we are now on ad 7, as it is running through all the ads I assume to start playing at where I left off.

Yay we are back on and only 10 minutes left.

Ash has a special Infrared camera, that can pick up things the naked eye cant see.

Hang on a second, that looks suspciously like a smartphone hooked up to a Kinect camera. Oh FFS, this has already been debunked. Ok let the sillyness commence.

As expected the device picks up a ghost sat at a desk.
It is definitely 100% a ghost, I am convinced, I can see the little stick figure. Time to close down the site.

Alex goes to stand next to the ghost, Alex is on the left in the image above, you can see her stick figure clearly, the mess to the right is the ghost.

We get a few minutes of this, Bobby goes and stands next to the ghost.

I suppose I better do my job, shock horror it is NOT a ghost. The Kinect sensor is set up to look for anything that could be a person, so that it can track your movements to play whatever game it is you have set up.

Now one of the problems with Kinect was that it was rather shit. You had to configure it in a well lit room, and ideally with a light coloured wall behind you. And you had to wear dark clothes. It would pick up shadows, and other things in the room, if you had a small area to stand in, it struggled to pick up your movements.

The problem with using it for "ghost hunting" is that you are using it in conditions it was never designed to be used. You are using it in low lit rooms, with lots of shadows, different objects in its depth of field, and worse still the Kinect unit itself is being hand held as opposed to being sat on a flat still surface like the top of your TV or Xbox.

As you can clearly see from the images, it can pick up Alex very clearly as she is stood there, but the ghost, is just a mess of dots that has lines connected, as it is trying to figure out if it is a person or not. This is a technical issue and not a ghost one.

Back to the show, and despite everyone being convinced they are looking at the worlds first ghost, they get bored and move on to investigate somewhere else, if that doesn't convince you they know its nonsense, nothing else will.

Ash is picking up another ghost on his portable Kinect sensor, but it is obviously just a shadow, as when they all move to have a look, the ghost disappears.

They move to an area with computers on desks etc.

Again more misunderstanding of how Kinect works. This is very frustrating for me, but I do understand how someone who does not have knowledge of the technology could confuse themselves and believe in a paranormal explanation.

This is not Ash trying to fake things, this is just Ash not really understanding the technology he is using. I feel a bit bad for him to be honest, because one day he will look back and feel terribly embarrassed that he tried to pass this off as evidence.

The whole final segment is this nonsense.

And with that the episode ends.

Summary.
I know nothing of Ash and Alex as investigators, although I may possibly have had run ins with them in the past, but I will judge them purely on this show. And I have to say that the show itself was not faked.

Nothing was being thrown, the reactions in general were mostly legit, if hammed up a bit. Alex did some of her basic psychic routine, of feeling strange etc, but kept the names to just one. So it is possible to give her the benefit of the doubt and say she is deluded as opposed to an out and out fake.

Ash had his gimmicks, but he didn't use any of them in any way to deliberately fake things, ignorance of the technology can explain everything he found. So again I cant say anything too negative about either of them. They believe in this, this is what they do, so that's that.

The celebs were a bit crap, Bobby had some fun one liners, Marcel didn't really do anything, Marnie was just herself. As for Rylan, again I like him, but this is not the show for him.

So overall I give this show a 5 out of 10. It was an ok effort I guess. I wont watch it again, I wont review it again.

Now I like to give advice as well as just criticise, so here is my advice to 5Star who air this show.

Give Rylan another show to host, this is not for him.
Give Psychic Alex the main presenting job, give her a good budget for outfits so she can look great. Get rid of Ash and replace him with Chris Howley from Ghost Chasers, and then you might have a hit on your hands.

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REVIEW: Most Haunted - Series 21 Episode 4 (9th February 2018) Beaumanor Hall Part 1

February 2004.

"Karl Beattie, laid claim to being the only living samurai outside of Japan, and says that he is one of only eight foreigners to have ever been awarded the title."

The Office of the Imperial Household told The Japan Times that it has no practice or system of granting such titles.

“This man is an obvious fraud,”
“This man can do a lot of damage. We’re talking about losing a finger,”
Ray Correa student of Japanese swordsmanship.

And with that quick historical lesson about Karl Beattie lying to the media, we can get back to Most Haunted.

"Spook-searching with Yvette and co! Yvette is pushed to the limits in a haunted disused attic at stately home Beaumanor Hall, and Karl is followed by a very heavily booted phantom."

I will admit the first time I read that blurb, I swear it said "Heavy Booty Phantom".
For a moment I thought Yvette had put a white sheet on her head and had gone full on Scooby Doo show bad guy. But alas no, it is not Yvette in a tight white sheet.

The show starts off and straight away all you can hear is Yvette screaming, which tells you all you need to know about why this really isn't an episode you will want to watch. Well unless she is screaming after walking in on Glen in his "secret room", while he is adjusting his "dongle" on his laptop.

Let us start with my episode predictions.

1. Yvette will do her best Anneka Rice impression, (Because she has trousers on).
2. Yvette and Karl will have a fake choreographed argument.
3. Karl will do some kind of stunt that everyone will laugh at and mock.
4. Things will be thrown OFF CAMERA.

Yvette starts off by informing us that because the location is so big, they have had to split the investigation into two parts, and this week is part 1. Of course this is nothing to do with keeping costs down, knocking out two episodes instead of one due to them being self funded, and paid a pittance by UKTV per episode. No of course not. Don't believe the conspiracy theorists. #ReleaseTheMostHauntedMemo.

Sadly Glen hasn't arrived yet, so cant hold Yvette's brolly for her. Shame.
Although she does have a tight grip on the shaft of the umbrella, holding it strong with both holds. Almost as if it is replacing something she hasn't had in many a year.

Some interesting camera work by Karl here.

No sign of Watson on the walk around, I am guessing after he pissed everywhere on the last couple of episodes he has now been permanently banned. Poor doggo.

Glen finally appears in his best tweed waistcoat.

Glen has taken Yvette into a room full of old vacuums and laundry machines, Yvette is excited, Glen, not so much.

One thing I will say for Yvette, and that is she always keeps her house clean and tidy. The Carpet always matches the drapes.

Ok, as they leave the room, there is a really strange segment. Someone is still filming, and they make a funny noise and move the camera close to a vacuum, I guess to joke that a vacuum has turned on, on its own. But then there is a noise, and something has been thrown OFF CAMERA.

It is a little toy car, of which there was conveniently a selection of toy cars on the side. So basically someone just picked up a car and chucked it behind themselves OFF CAMERA.

A few taps are now heard. They ask for something else to be thrown, and of course nothing is.

Yvette starts on about the "Call Back Phenomena" again, Damn she is really trying to push that as a thing, desperately hoping ghost hunters around the country start saying it.

After only having a brolly to hold, Yvette now has the girth of Glen's arm to wrap her hand around. Glen simply cant hide his smugness at this moment, and he continues to walk up the stairs slightly doubled over, almost as if he is trying to hide something.

They switch to the black and white filter, and the investigation proper begins, and straight away Yvette is getting scared of nothing on the stairs with Karl.

Lots of running about aimlessly. And we get a repeat of the Treasure Hunt / Anneka Rice scene from a few episodes back. I told you then it would be a start of a new thing didn't I!?

You will notice this will only ever happen when Yvette has trousers on, and she wants to show off her round behind.

Shame her trousers are a bit baggy this week.

Someone really needs to edit in some Benny Hill music to these ridiculous Treasure Hunt scenes.

Have you ever noticed how often Fred asks to be touched?.

Yvette and Karl are already having one of their fake choreographed arguments. And as usual Karl is filming himself smirking and laughing.

You know, the first time they did it, it was funny, it was cute, but when it is every week, it is just too obvious. But the fans lap it up, so they keep doing it.

"The filing cabinet cant move, to early" - Karl Beattie.

Hmmm. Did Karl forget to edit out himself saying this?

Yvette and Karl are filling time by pretending to see and hear things OFF CAMERA.

"I feel like Scooby Doo" - Yvette Fielding.

Sorry Yvette, you are not Scooby Doo, you are the villains in a Scooby Doo show.

"Can you make a noise with your voice" - Yvette Fielding.

As opposed to what? Your arse? As usual Yvette is talking nonsense.

Suddenly there is a noise OFF CAMERA, and Yvette lets out a scream that seems to go on forever. A picture frame has fallen down and smashed on the floor. OFF CAMERA.

Yvette's scream sounds more like frustration and annoyance, than that of fear. I wonder who or what she could possibly be annoyed at for scaring her. Definitely not the ghosts since they don't exist.

Yvette has trousers on, so here is a shot of Karl filming her bent over. Almost as if this was scripted? #ReleaseTheMostHauntedMemo.

Karl is tapping his foot, pretending it is a ghost, Yvette in her best Panto voice says "It's behind you".

There really is a lot of filler here. Obviously stretching things out to fill up the time. No wonder UKTV only pay a few grand per episode.

We quickly move between the various crew member groups, It is funny that they are all doing the tapping and hoping the ghosts reply or tap back etc. If any of this was honest, then they are just hearing each others taps.

If this was one of the classic episodes, then Derek Acorah would have got possessed by a vacuum by now.

Yvette and Karl are still wondering around aimlessly, pretending to see and hear things OFF CAMERA. Yvette is screaming again, and having more fake arguments.

25 Minutes in, and we have not had a single interesting thing happen other than Karl chucking a toy car.

Here Karl shows how easy it is to film using just one hand. Also note how bright it is, big light on his camera, as well as on the camera filming them. Ask yourself why on earth do they need to have a black and white filter on, if only to make it look more spooky.

The Ghost Chasers show proved how much better things look if you just film with HQ cameras in normal light.

Yvette is now with Fred, Glen and various Cameramen, and she has stopped screaming. Karl is on his own upstairs, scared to walk past some ladders.

I feel a "trick" coming soon. Let's hope it is something good.

Back to Yvette and gang, and more noises OFF CAMERA, more walking about.

Back to Karl and he suspiciously places the camera on the floor. And puts some EMF meters on the floor in front of the camera. Let me guess, he will ask the ghost to set them off on cue.

The EMF meters all go off, proving absolutely nothing.

Anyone with even the most basic knowledge of such things will laugh at this and how ridiculous it is.

"Those EMF meters are going off, that's technology, you cant really....." - Karl Beattie.

Can't really what Karl? Fake it? No that would be impossible, you know, because it is technology, and as everyone knows Technology is infallible.

Back with Karl and he is still filming EMF meters on the floor.

He asks for the light to turn read, and it does, (I think, since we are watching in black and white). Now just remember, Karl is holding a big ELECTRIC camera, and he also has multiple ELECTRIC devices on him, including his phone, his mic pack, a torch, and so on. Now if only we could think of something that would set off an ELECTROmagnetic field. Nope, no possible explanation for this, 100% has to be the ghosties.

Just a thought, if you are a ghost, and you give off electromagnetic fields, if you floated along to CERN, and perhaps just perhaps, you floated inside the Large Hadron Collider, the world's largest and most powerful particle collider, the most complex experimental facility ever built, and the largest single machine in the world. And you know, just floated about inside it, maybe scientists would detect you, and right there you have just proven the existence of ghosts.  Really simple if you think about it.

Now if I, an admitted idiot and fool, can think of that as a way to prove my existence as a ghostie, do you think that perhaps a dead Einstein might also have thought of it?

Instead if you believe that Most Haunted is 100% legit, or that you believe that EMF Meters can really detect ghosts, but that these ghosts will ONLY chose to prove they exist by floating about in old buildings for unqualified idiots to detect them on EMF meters, INSTEAD of categorically and scientifically proving their existence in the LHC, then please leave a comment explaining why this is so.

The Large Hadron Collider has NEVER EVER detected any ghosts, therefore it is a scientifically safe assumption to declare with the utmost confidence that GHOSTS DO NOT EXIST.

And before you know it the episode has ended. Karl's big stunt was getting some EMF meters to go off. That's it. What a huge let down of an episode.

I am going to give this episode a worlds first negative score.
Yes I am giving this episode a minus 1 out of 10.

There was nothing to be taken out of this episode, nothing, a total waste of time.
Their "evidence" consisted of a toy car being thrown OFF CAMERA, and an EMF meter going off. That is it.

Possibly the worst episode in the history of Most Haunted.

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By Jon Donnis