TV REVIEW Most Haunted Episode 5/10 (Delapre Abbey) Celebrity Special!

To air on REALLY - Thursday 18th September, 10pm

Ok, the title is misleading, it is an apparent "Celebrity Edition" and most like the last Celebrity Edition featuring a Welsh rock band that no one had heard of, this time we get 5 Rugby players that no one has heard of (outside of Rugby of course)

This time we are at Delapre Abbey.

The most important thing I need to start off with is the return of the now legendary Mel Crump, the true star of Most Haunted, and the next person odds on to be fired from the show for being more popular than Yvette Fielding!

Now if you haven't already make sure you go like the Mel Crump fan page on Facebook, she wont be around for long so enjoy her while you can.

Sadly Mel Crump's equally gorgeous sister Kim Crump is no where to be seen. Such a shame.

Anyway back to the episode since I have to write about it, we start with pretend demonologist Fred Batt, the most interesting thing about him being his receeding hairline, although I am not one to talk on that subject.

Fred talks and my brain automatically just switches off, it's times like this i really miss Dickie Fingers (Richard Felix), one of the most entertaining and genuinely excitable people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, much taller in real life too. But unfortunately as we well know if you more popular than Yvette you are soon given your marching orders!

Quick list of people fired for being more popular than Yvette.

Jason Karl

Cath Howe

Richard Felix

Phil Whyman

Dr. Matthew Smith

Lesley Smith

At last Fred has stopped talking so my brain automatically comes back on now, and Yvette is meeting these Rugby Players, I am guessing that the West Bromwich Albion reserve team weren't available!

The investigation begins, I just cant see these Rugby players not getting bored and having some fun. Any-who Yvette starts calling out to the ghosties (which don't exist), a few taps are heard, no sign of Stuart or Karl on camera yet, and more importantly no sign of Mel Crump!

Have you ever noticed how Yvette Fielding talks to the ghosts much like someone would talk to a child.

And a stone is thrown at Mel Crump! If I was her I would report Karl to the police as obviously he was the one who threw it! That is common assault as far as I am concerned!

Here is a picture of the lethal weapon used to try and maim the perfect Mel Crump! How dare they!

Worth noting how after the stone is thrown by Karl, Yvette lets the Rugby players analyse it and gets their reactions, one of the rugby players is clearly pissing himself laughing. 

It does occur to me that yet again I am spending 46 minutes of my life watching grown people wander about in the dark pretending to talk to ghosts. The question then becomes who is truly the idiot? Those partaking in the farce, or those watching? My excuse is I am writing a review for BadPsychics.com so ask yourself what is your excuse!? You could literally be doing anything else and that would be more worthwhile.

Yvette is now whistling at the ghosties and asking them to "touch one of us", good job Cath Howe is not on the show otherwise for sure her backside would have been groped by now, and remember no such thing as ghosts!

Yvette tells us that it is time for a Ouija board next, and that protection has been put in place (Stuart puts a condom on) and that prayers have been said. (To which God though? The Christian God? The Jewish God? The Muslim God?, all really a waste of time since none of them really exist)

So add the green filter to the lens to make it look like night vision and away we go playing a game that has nothing to do with the occult and is owned by Hasbro!

Remember that time when Yvette Fielding got caught blatantly pushing the glass during a Most Haunted Live show cause she forgot to take her glove off? If not you can watch the clip at the following link http://tviscool.com/play.php?vid=173 

Since then, she has never wore gloves while playing push the glass around the table! Funny that!

As expected the glass starts moving around the table instantly, remember folks this doesn't work when people are blindfolded proving 100% that this is faked.

Stuart and Karl are being very suspicious and have mainly stayed off camera for the first 20 minutes, I am sure they will re-appear later on to cause some trouble.

Funny moment where Yvette takes her finger off the glass and lets the rugby players continue to ask questions, the glass of course stops moving completely, she then rejoins and as if by magic the glass starts moving again!

Anyone who thinks that Yvette isn't as big of a faker as Karl and Stuart needs their head examined!

This Ouija board session is really dragging on now, they end up cutting it short claiming that some very personal and emotional information came through and out of respect they are not showing it. hmmmm, why do I doubt that? Anyway the Rugby players have obviously had enough and have now bugger off to the pub and left Yvette and her croneys to continue without them.

The lack of Mel Crump is also very apparent, I am guessing Yvette has personally had her time edited down to a minimum since becoming aware of her popularity. Why they employed someone so much more prettier than Yvette does seem crazy! Perhaps they thought that Most Haunted fans would dislike her because she is pretty, but the opposite has happened.

At long last Karl Beattie and Stuart are off to investigate on their own!

Worth a special note here is Karl's amazing Cardigan!

We now follow the Chuckle Brothers up the stairs into the attic, and within 5 seconds a bang is heard and something is thrown past Stuart! So very predictable, Grandpa Cardigan Karl really needs a new gimmick.

Lots of creaks, bangs, swearing ("Shower of Shit"), threatening of the ghosts, and so on. Seen it a hundred times before.

Please guys, if anyone believes that this stuff is real please leave a comment below in the comments section, I need a good laugh!

Here is the formula for the Karl and Stuart show.

1. Turn camera away

2. Throw stone

3. Turn camera back and film stone

It is so blatant what they do, how they keep straight faces is beyond me.

Let me make this clear if I have no already. Karl Beattie picks up stone, throws it, Stuart films the stone, they both claim it was thrown by ghosts! They have NEVER EVER NOT ONCE NOT EVER caught a stone thrown on video from beginning to end. Don't you think that is a bit suspicious?

I know I am getting annoyed when it is so obviously faked, but when I read on Twitter people acting all scared at watching and tweeting Yvette and Karl and saying how brave they are it makes my stomach turn at the utter stupidity of some people.

I don't blame Karl and Yvette for faking stuff, that is their job, they are making a spoof tv show, it is what they are supposed to do to try and make the show entertaining, but when people believe it is real, I really do despair at humanity, and evolution for creating humans so gullible.

Also worth noting that they haven't mentioned orbs in as long as I can recall. Probably the only good thing.

This was probably the worst show of the series so far, mainly due to a lack of Mel Crump, the ridiculous and unbelieving actions of Cardigan Karl and Stuart.

I would advise viewers to not bother watching this episode as nothing of note happens, it is not particularly entertaining, there is very little of the perfect Mel Crump, and the so called celebrities don't really do anything.

All we get is a stone repeatedly thrown by Karl throughout the episode and that is it.

We finish off with Dr. John Callow reading off a script, with his Bret Hart haircut and ridiculous scarf taking more attention than anything he says. I wonder how long before he tries to cash in and releases a book with Yvette, well before you do John ask Ciaran how many copies of his book with Yvette sold, and then maybe you will think again.

Truly awful episode and much like Karl and Yvette's sex life it had no redeeming features at all!

I'm going to watch some paint dry as after watching that anything would seem more entertaining.

Review By Jon Donnis

Follow me on Twitter @JonDonnis

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Most Haunted Ep5 (Celebrity Special)

REALLY

Thursday 18th September, 10pm

Delapré Abbey, or more properly, the Abbey of St Mary de la Pré (The Abbey of St Mary in the Meadow), was an English monastery situated in the meadows of the River Nene to the south of Northampton. It was founded as a monastery of nuns about the year 1145 and belonged to the congregation of the great Abbey of Cluny in Burgundy, France.

Fan Reviews of Pretend Psychic Lisa Williams

I often get quoted the name Lisa Williams as a psychic/medium who people believe in, as is often the case with such psychics, they appear amazing on their highly edited TV shows, yet when seen first hand in "demonstrations" their hit rate plummets.

Now I have wrote about Lisa Williams before and exposed her methods, cold reading and so on, but this time I thought I would try something different, so I picked a show of hers, went to Ticketmaster and read the reviews, afterall you can rely on her own fans to be honest about their experiences, and at least that way I don't get moaned at for having "Skeptics bias" whatever that is supposed to mean. So here I present you with a nice collection of fan reviews for a Lisa Williams show.

Now remember these are people who paid a LOT of money to see her live in a largish theatre, these are her fans, not evil nasty skeptics but her own fans, believers, spiritualists, woo folk.

And after reading these comments, ask yourself, do you think Lisa Williams is a real medium, or just a grief vulture preying on the vulnerable, the gullible and the naive, raping the memories of their lost loved ones just to make money?. Of course and as ever I will leave it up to you to make your own minds up.

You can read the reviews at the following link that will take you to the TicketMaster Website

Lisa Williams

You can view all of our articles on Lisa Williams by Clicking Here

TV REVIEW Most Haunted Episode 4/10 (The Galleries Of Justice)

"There's Something Nasty Here, That's The Sickest Smell I've Ever Smelled in my Whole Life"

With that opening line from Yvette and I believe Kim Crump (Superstar Mel Crump's sister), we have a perfect definition of everything that is Most Haunted!

Before I carry on with my spoilers and review of Episode 4, can I just thank everyone for your kind comments regarding my reviews, and your understanding of the pain I go through to sit and do this for you.

Anyway on to the show, we start off with a history lesson as Yvette enters the court room and sits herself down on the Judges chair.

Yvette tells us of...
"Lots of moans, Groans, and whines of desperation"
and that's just the Most Haunted crew having to listen to Yvette blather on!

Yvette catches up with Fred and reveals that she is used to finding him lurking in dark corners, Mr Excitement then describes what happens, as a brush handle drops down from the ceiling area, of course at no point do they point the camera up, or around the area to see where it came from, and strangely the thing is quickly ignored and they carry on! I am guessing they were not happy with Stuart throwing stuff so early on.

Firstly let me announce that Mel Crump is NOT in this episode, I hope she hasn't done a runner already, although it is announced that her sister Kim is gonna take her place. I hope that isn't the same Kim Crump that is a spiritual healer? Hmmmmm. Although regardless of that much like her sister Mel, Kim is also a bit of a hotty!

Anyway the investigation starts, Yvette genuinely says the following
"Can you make a noise with your voice please"

Well before she said that I am sure the ghost was just going to fart or click their fingers, but now she said that they know.

Anyway we get a bit more of Kim, which is a huge relief since Mel Crump is not on the show, Hey UKTV if you reading this (and I know you are) how about you commission a show for REALLY called "Mel & Kim Investigate" damn I would watch that! It could just be them wandering about doing well whatever they want!

Anyway back to the nonsense, and they can hear some knocking, sounds a bit like Karl tapping his shoe to me, its all very predictable, at this point Kim has to cover her mouth cause she is laughing so hard at the silliness, Yvette tries to cover it up by claiming its cause she is nervous!

After hearing a bang "right next to her" Yvette puts her old acting training into good use as she screams and runs away.

Yvette declares that in all her time doing Most Haunted she has never had anything like that happen to her before, and be so close. She states that someone is following them, strangely not seen Stuart yet!

They head down into the cellars, and another bang, Yvette screams, and now we see Stuart for the first time, as usual nothing is caught on camera, we have a lot of people down there, and Stuart and Karl are often behind the cameras and off screen whenever anything happens! We know as a proven fact that Karl and Stuart have faked things before, so how can anyone ever trust them to be honest.

Here is a picture of Karl for no reason at all!

Karl describes how the bang must have come from someone behind him and Stuart but that there was no one there!! Quick call the Nobel committee and get the Prize ready for Karl!

Kim is getting a surprising amount of air time in this episode, way more than Mel got! Methinks that something suspicious is going on here!

Has Mel been replaced by her sister? Was Yvette really that jealous of Mel Crump's popularity? Only time will tell! Although neither Kim nor Mel have yet claimed to have had their bum felt like Cath Howe used to have done to her regularly! Of course there is no possible way that was Karl or Stuart and must have been the ghosts!

Kim reveals that she is an 8 out of 10 on a scale of scared-ness. That's pretty high!

Karl and Stuart go off to investigate the wash house, at this point, where as the girls (and Chris) go to investigate the cells.

Stuart reveals he is out of breath and knackered, not sure the point of that, but he feels the need to tell us that, must be the ghosts, of course as soon as they down there things are getting thrown, ALWAYS off camera, this time it is a candle! makes a change from pine cones and rolls of tape.

More things being thrown and bangs and so on, as Karl, Stuart and Fred "investigate" and remember that Brush from earlier, it magically gets thrown near them! All off camera.

Kim is doing a great job on the team, and looking great doing it, Cameraman Chris keeps making noises, but at least he admits he is doing it every time, I don't think he is in on the gimmicks to be fair.

In a Most Haunted first it appears that Fred throws a cheese grater at Karl! It is not clear, and might get edited out of the final airing, but looks to me like Fred had the grater hidden in his sleeve, and when he turns round he very carefully throws it, I might be wrong on this one, and I would rather see on a 50" HD TV, but looked very suspicious to me and happens so quick its hard to tell.

Next up a bottle is thrown, a gate is slammed shut, and another candle is thrown, it is pretty blatant Karl, Stuart and Fred are behind most of this, I can imagine a certain section of viewers watching this at home thinking it's all real.

If you like high jinx then this is the best episode of the series yet.

Quick update of Kim, and she is looking scared. I hope when Mel Crump watches this she doesn't get too jealous of all the attention her sister has had.

Karl says loudly to the ghosts
"Can't you do it so we can see you do it?"

And he actually says that with a straight face too!

Stuart then says
"We mean you no disrespect"

to which Karl follows up with
"Yeah, but go fuck yourselves"

It's that kind of lovely language that really attracts the kids to this show!

The battery on Yvette's camera has run out despite being fully charged! Of course cant possibly be a rubbish battery, and instead must be the spirits draining the energy!

The investigation continues and Fred's favourite toy the cheese grater gets thrown again!

It is at this point that Yvette drops the smelliest most disgusting fart in the history of the show, at first she claims she cant smell it but then admits it. With Yvette and Kim now dry heaving, and trying not to physically vomit, Kim reveals it smells like rotting flesh, poor Karl having to live with Yvette if she does farts like that, no wonder he employs Kim and Mel as eye candy on the show!

If you remember the old Most Farted videos from years ago, I am sure someone could have a lot of fun with this footage and add in some great sound effects!

Yvette is now holding her nose and claiming the smell is too strong, almost like she is over egging it now! Everyone knows its you Yvette! Poor Kim!

At this point in the episode Kim is genuinely quite distressed, the ghosts don't bother her but Yvette's stinking arse has almost killed her!

They then enter a lift and of course the smell follows them! We get a bit of lift nonsense, as Kim declares she wants to get out, and the lift is now apparently stuck between floors. Yvette seems to enjoy forcing Chris, Karl and Kim to stay in the lift and breathe in her disgusting farts. She really needs to see a doctor.

I wonder if Yvette blames the ghosts for when she farts at home, or in the supermarket? The whole farting thing goes on a bit long to be honest, I am guessing they ran out of use-able footage so had to revert to this nonsense. I'm serious they have this whole smelly fart rubbish go on for a good 8 minutes of the episode.

Kim does not look at all impressed, and I think she's realising what she has gotten herself into.

After they finally get out Yvette proudly states
"That was impressive stuff, who could've imagined that"

In a voice over Yvette then declares that the events in the lift are some of the best evidence she has ever encountered. Yep a dirty fart in a stuck lift is the best evidence Most Haunted has ever given of the paranormal!

We finish off with Mr Personality Dr John Callow reading off a teleprompter, I am sure he said something vaguely interesting but I fell asleep listening to him.

And that's the end of the episode and an hour of my life I will never get back.

So what did we learn from this episode of Most Haunted, we learnt that Mel Crump has an equally fit sister called Kim Crump, and that Yvette Fielding has rancid farts. Well done UKTV and Really for paying for this! Now if we could just cut out all the Yvette and Karl nonsense and just have Mel and Kim Crump we might just have a show on our hands!

By Jon Donnis



Most Haunted
UK Premiere – Series Continues
Thursday 11th September, 10pm
S1 E4/10 The Galleries of Justice - Nottingham

The legendary ghost hunters continue in Nottingham and a place where people could be jailed, sentenced and executed without even leaving the building, no wonder it is said to be one of the most haunted places in Great Britain. The team are tested as a supposedly mysterious poltergeist takes a dislike to Karl and Stuart, while Yvette is followed by a foul smelling spirit and experiences her most compelling evidence yet.

TV REVIEW: Most Haunted - Episode 3/10. Newton House Part 2

Before I begin, if you haven't already you can review my World Exclusive reviews of Episode 1 here and Episode 2 here.

Right then onto Episode 3, this is the second part to the Newton House episode.

We start off as they mean to go on, with silliness around the Ouija Board, again quick reminder that Ouija was invented by businessman Elijah Bond, and had nothing to do with the occult until the first World War, and that Hasbro own the rights to it these days!

Welsh heavy metal band, Bullet For My Valentine are joining in again with the festivities, I really feel for these poor guys that the only PR gig he could get them was as guests on Most Haunted! I've listened to their music and its pretty good, so a real shame they have to sit through such nonsense, including watching Yvette push a glass round a table!

As I watch the pathetic attempt at Ouija manipulation, you'd think someone, anyone would come up with a simple protocol to prove its a load of rubbish, for a start blind fold them, I actually think they did that on a Live show once and of course they got no words spelled at all!

The lack of a proper Skeptic on the show is quite sad, but we all know that Ciaran was just a paid actor playing the role of Parapsychologist on the show and was directed by Karl Beattie, so even if they did have a proper skeptic, he would just do what he was told regardless. Also I don't count Dr John Callow, mainly due to the fact he is just reading from a prompt at the end of the show!

Towards the end of the Ouija board nonsense, with Yvette whistling and so on, suddenly out of nowhere (when I say nowhere I mean from Karl Beattie), a metal cup flies past Stuart, and amazingly it was not caught on camera!

The lack of any Crump 10 minutes into the episode is sad, they have a true star in Melanie Crump, but her popularity will surely send her to the job centre, as we all know that Yvette hates anyone more popular than her!

And if like me you think The Crump is the only reason to watch this new series of Most Haunted well you can like a fan page for her on Facebook here.

Interesting moment while Karl and cameraman Chris are off investigating a room, whereby Super Samurai warrior Karl is hiding behind Chris cause he is so scared! Oh hang on a moment that whole "Karl is a Samurai" thing was all debunked and proven to be utter and complete lies! lol. I almost forgot about that!

I wonder if Chris could be the new Stuart! Nah that will never happen! There is only one "Unknown Stuntman" in Most Haunted, and in case you forgot here is our world famous compilation video of Stuart


Anyway back to Most Haunted and Karl and Chris are begging for the ghosts to rock a rocking chair, as expected nothing happens, so they try to get the ghosties to make contact through a disconnected radio, and of course sodall happens.

Back to Yvette and the rest of the crew and Yvette is begging to be slapped! Yes literally begging to be slapped by the ghosties! Damn at that moment I wished that ghosts really did exist! But alas Yvette didn't get slapped.

Fred Batt is probably the biggest disappointment to the new series, he really doesn't add anything at all. Not from a historical interest position or from the position of "demonologist" They really need to get a proper medium on the show, as at least that will give me something to expose.

It did occur to me that during this and the last episode, pretty much all of the noises could easily have been made by rats which there undoubtedly is at Newton House.

Lets just put into perspective what it is I am watching.
Grown adults standing about in a low lit room, calling out and speaking to ghosts that do not exist. This truly is ridiculous.

Much like the previous episodes a lot of noises are picked up in the editing room after, funny that! Almost as if they have been added post-production!

Here is a quick screen grab of Mel Crump looking scared!

No reason for that, other than need to get The Crump some more publicity! She is surely the only person in the crew not in on the scam, she genuinely seems concerned in some parts!

Stuart has been suspiciously quiet in this episode, other than having a metal cup thrown past him, he hasn't done anything. I am guessing since he pretended to faint that he may have fulfilled his contracted fakery for the day!

Yvette starts doing a weird chant (some ancient Hebrew prayer chant), at which point one of the Bullet For My Valentine boys is mimicking her from behind, really funny moment, they are obviously getting a bit fed up now and are just entertaining themselves. I wouldn't be surprised if they start throwing things about.

In what must be a first for Most Haunted while Fred and Karl are investigating a corridor, when Fred is looking through a hole in a door, a pine cone is suddenly "thrown" obviously by Karl when the camera is facing away. They pick it up and put it where Karl blatantly picked it up from and ask for it to be moved again, and of course nothing happens! But I must say first Pine Cone on Most Haunted!

Newton House does look to be a great old building, lots of corridors and rooms, literally a ghost hunters wet dream!

After some stones are dropped, Yvette declares that it was definitely poltergeist activity! Well done Yvette for remaining impartial!

One of the more amusing parts of the show is where one of the Bullet For My Valentine boys decides he is picking things up from the other side! He even manages to keep a straight face when describing that these things just come to him!

As we get towards the end of the episode, we have something else thrown just as Karl turns the camera away, this time a candle stick, the problem with Karl obviously throwing these things, is that his reactions really give it away. Karl and Fred do not make a good tag team, Karl really needs Stuart, but alas Stuart is off hiding somewhere it seems and the show really suffers without the ham acting of Stuart to liven things up.

Out of the first 3 episodes the second one is easily the most entertaining, the first episode is boring, and the third one is just a bit silly in parts. Of course the wannabe ghost hunters out there will lap it up, the Yvette fans will claim it is all real, and the rest of us will just roll our eyes and remember back to the days of Derek Acorah.

The episode finishes off with what they claim is the most compelling evidence yet of paranormal activity! which is basically a locked off camera filming an old wheelchair apparently moving on its own, to me the way the chair moves kinda looks like its being pulled with some fishing wire, it just doesn't move naturally whatsoever.

As usual Dr John Callow speaks sense at the end, but stays away from accusing any of the crew members from faking, and he doesn't even mention the wheel chair moving, I wonder if any comments about that were edited out for obvious reasons.

Either way it is the same old nonsense, just without a medium.

Woo folk will love it, skeptics will roll their eyes, and the rest wont give a toss.

Poor episode and nowhere near as entertaining as the second episode.


Most Haunted
UK Premiere - Series Continues
Thursday 4th September, 10pm
3/10. Newton House Part 2
The brand new series of Most Haunted continues exclusively on Really with another spooky investigation from Yvette Fielding and the team.

This week the Most Haunted team carry on their exploration of Newton House in South Wales.
Newton House’s main structure was built in 1660 and many believe it was built on cursed ground and the lost souls that wander the halls have been there since before the main house was built. Each room and corridor is supposedly inhabited by different spirits; haggard old women, crazed murderers and the ghosts of children are just a few of the ‘poltergeists’ that are believed to be living within the building and they are seemingly all ready to play with and scare Yvette, the crew and her very special guests, heavy metal band, Bullet For My Valentine.

Certain rooms in the house seem to have a very high energy and the team are faced with nausea, flying objects and even verbal threats they believe has come from some of the ghosts. One movement caught on a fixed camera even means the whole team’s beliefs could be altered forever. With alleged spirits and souls galore Newton House is sure to be one of the team’s toughest challenges yet but with all the danger it begs the question – will they all make it out alive?