Welcome back to the UK's most popular and most read weekly review of Most Haunted.
I have been asked to publish the following from our resident nasty evil skeptic, Mr Juan Donnis.
"Last week Most Haunted claimed that they were speaking to a ghost called "Henry Harries", we even pointed out that he died 7+ miles away and not just outside like Fred had claimed. But that is not all, since last week someone else did more research and found out that Most Haunted had simply read the newspaper cutting (the same one we published) and then repeated the same mistakes the cutting had made, on the show. Proving 100% that Yvette Fielding had cheated. Since both her fake communication with the ghost, as well as Fred's prior research all matched the cutting, but didn't match the truth. The truth is, there was no Henry Harries at all!
You can read the full investigation at
http://crimesofthecenturies.com/index.php/2019/02/09/most-haunted-fake-ghost/
Of course this is not the first time they have been caught cheating, and the "Haunties" will surely find a way to explain this latest lie."
Anyway with that out of the way.....
I am your host Jon Donnis, a world renowned believer in all things woo, so get yourself comfortable, and enjoy this weeks review.
Blurb:
"As Yvette leads her team in the last episode of the Hodroyd trilogy, they search to uncover the truth behind one of its most endearing mysteries."
Before we start, feel free to print off the Most Haunted Drinking game I have prepared.
My advice would be to start with shots of whiskey, only fair we drink spirits when talking to spirits!
We start off with the highlights of the previous episode, showing all the 100% legitimate ghost activity that happened. Including the ghosts throwing coins from where Karl and Fred were stood.
And before you know it we are back, and we are back with Karl and him hearing footsteps. Although the audio would suggest the footsteps were added in post production, clearly this difference in sound quality can be explained by the fact that ghosts do not have physical feet.
Here is Glen in mid-investigation, many of you wont know this, but by filming his neck-beard instead of the ghosts, he is actually proving that ghosts exist. I have not quite worked out how that is, but trust me, every real investigator knows that you have to film yourself instead of the area you are investigating. But this only counts if you are investigating ghosts, imagine if a crime scene investigator was examining a crime scene and just took photos or videos of themselves, how ridiculous and unprofessional that would be! Luckily Glen is a seasoned professional so knows exactly what he is doing.
It seems that while Glen was filming himself, a door has opened all by itself.
Glen then thanks the ghosts for opening the door, which goes against the claims that he is the resident skeptic. Could it be that he is just playing a part and not really a skeptic?
Yvette starts singing Ring of Roses, so take a drink, as that would clearly come under "When someone whistles or hums a song"
Rick is filming himself, so much like Glen he is following the ghost hunters rule book.
Yvette starts tapping the bath, but the ghost isn't ready yet so doesn't reply.
Karl is getting scared in the attic, so has decided to leave the area.
Annoyingly UKTV are now forcing ads when watching the show online. That was one of the few pleasures in watching online that you could watch the show in 45 minutes instead of 1 hour.
Back on and Yvette is still waiting for something to happen. As nothing does, Yvette meets up with some others and puts her hand on a table.
Karl has gone and got Rick to keep him company in the attic.
Have you ever noticed how Karl always says hello to the ghosts in such a way that he would expect a response, further proof it is all real.
Yvette has seen a real life orb moving across the wall. OFF CAMERA.
Ok I cant keep this pretence up any longer. Yvette saw a god damn insect, not an orb. Just because you see something move in the corner of your eye, or something move in the distance when it is dark, does not make it an orb. Like seriously guys, how unbelievably stupid do you have to be to think every little thing is an orb. An orb by the way is what spiritualists like to say are the first stages of a spirit manifestation. Well guess what, no "orb" has ever manifestated into a spirit, or anything. And now because 100% of orbs found on photographs/videos were debunked OVER A DECADE AGO, we have to put up with idiots saying that they saw an orb with their own eyes. OFF FREAKING CAMERA! Give me a break. Apollonius Christ some people are dumb.
Ok where was I.
Oh yeah, the guy in the middle is trying to lift a table with his penis.
This episode is 16 minutes old already. And I am already half a bottle down on the cough medicine, and I don't even have a cough! (7%)
I was wondering why we had not had any coins thrown yet in this episode, and then suddenly Karl empties his pockets of coins.
Watch as Karl waits for Rick to look the opposite direction and move forward, so that Karl can chuck the coins behind them. I had hoped that Rick was an innocent bystander, but I cant believe that Rick didn't realise exactly what happened here.
Now let's pretend that this coin throwing nonsense is really ghosts, making coins out of thin air, and then dropping them exactly where Karl is. How could the MH team prove this was all legit? The easiest option is to bloody well use more cameras. But they refuse to do that. Despite the fact that no one in history has ever filmed something appearing out of nowhere on a ghost hunt. Credible footage of that happening would be worth millions. Yet Karl refuses to stump up a few hundred quid on a bunch of cheap portable cameras. Or even ask people to use their smartphone. Either he is an idiot, or he is faking and knows he cant fake if there are a lot of cameras about.
I wonder if someone could count up all the coins ever thrown on Most Haunted. I assume that if a ghost was to throw a coin, you would keep it, so in theory Karl should have a huge collection of these ghost coins at home. And they should match up perfectly in number to every coin ever thrown on Most Haunted. Anyone fancy working out the number?
Karl asks the ghosts to make a heartbeat noise. Even though ghosts do not have hearts.
Rick and Karl both seem very happy, but nothing is being picked up on camera, so all a bit pointless.
And another set of ads.
Yvette is still by that table, and asking the ghosts to effect Beardy. Nothing happens.
This episode is really dragging.
Yvette is hearing taps, and gets all excited, again all pointless as "evidence" since we cant see everyone's feet.
Karl asks the ghost to tap for yes or no etc, so take a drink people!
And back with Yvette and she asks the ghost to make a noise with its voice! That's another drink!
Both Yvette and her team, and Karl and his team are asking questions of the ghosts. We cant hear any replies, so we are literally watching people ask and answer questions to no one. This is absurd.
Suddenly Yvette gets all excited and decides to lie on the table. Glen can hardly control his raging boner.
Never in Glens life up until this point as he wished that all the camera batteries would go dead at once.
The table remains still, despite Glen nervously shaking.
And another ad. I am starting to wonder if UKTV have paid the adblocking companies on Chrome to let their ads through, as I have never had ads before.
"Do something to me, no not you Glen" - Yvette Fielding
Yvette sits up, she has waited too long for something to happen.
Beardy decides to "have a go" on the table. This is not how Glen had imagined the night's events were going to play out.
While moving his hand back and forth, Beardy hilariously claims it feels like the tale is moving.
Of course it is not actually moving, and you will note the position of the camera that is in the worst possible position to show any kind of movement on the table. And any static camera set back to get everything in frame would easily prove the claims.
While talking about the table moving, the other bloke reveals that it had moved like this when Glen had been on it, but we haven't seen that footage. So clearly they all had a go on the table. I wonder if Glens pocket bulge was a bit awkward to show on camera?
Karl and Rick are going from room to room desperately trying to find the fireplace where someone allegedly was killed. The ghost isn't doing anything.
Wow they are not as stupid as I assumed, and they did put the camera down to film them. Of course it doesn't show all the feet of the table, or the bloke on the right in full, but for the idiots of Most Haunted, this is pretty cool.
Suddenly the table with Beardy starts to levitate about a foot off the ground! WOW, we finally have proof. Oh wait that never happened. How strong is this cough medicine?
Ok Beardy is claiming the table is undulating back and forth, the length of his body, and the people touching the table all confirm this. HOWEVER Beardy is clearly moving his feet which is causing the movement. How this got through the edit room I have no idea. He is literally using his feet to create a slight momentum on the table. It is only a slight effect but it is clearly his feet that is creating the slight rocking and not the ghosts.
The Jabroni brothers (in law) have decided this is the fireplace the ghost died in, despite there being no proof either in the records, or from the ghost that this is the case, they have just decided that it is, and that's that.
Fred has strangely been missing in action on this episode, other than at the start when they replayed his coin throwing. I wonder if he went outside for a smoke and the door locked behind him.
Suddenly out of nowhere you can clearly see Beardy's soul leave his body. Incredible evidence right there.
After a moment Beardy's soul re-enters body forcefully through his colon, and then the episode ends.
This was a poor episode, like really poor, and continued the trend of the previous two episodes. You can tell money is tight at Most Haunted when they drag this rubbish out for 3 episodes.
The ONLY thing that happened in tonight's episode was Karl throwing some more coins OFF CAMERA.
That's it. Nothing else.
I refuse to even score this episode. One of the worst ever made.
Review by Jon Donnis
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By Jon Donnis
