3 days and 3 reviews, what is wrong with me! Why do I punish myself like this?
Could it be because it bring visitors to my site? Could it be because Karl Beattie himself pays me big money to promote the show? Could it be that I am a glutton for punishment?
Well who knows the real reason why, but what I do know is that I have found some dirty blurb for you for tonight's episode!
Blurb:
More supernatural shenanigans. Ruthin Castle in Wales pushes Yvette's team of ghost hunters to the limit and at least one of them doesn't make it to the end. But who?
Please let it be Karl, please let it be Karl. (Spoiler: EVERYONE makes it to the end of this episode)
So we are at Ruthin Castle in Wales, and yes it is another two parter, and another attempt for them to save money and pay the crew half but get twice as many episodes.
Yvette is giving a voice over of the local stories of the Castle and guess what? WE HAVE A GREY LADY! How very original.
Another glamorous location for Yvette as you can see. But where the hell is Watson? I am guessing after he kept fetching things that Karl and Stuart thew in the previous episode, he has been left at home.
I suspect this episode is gonna be a bore fest with a lot of things happening OFF CAMERA. Feel free to skip to the end of my review to see the final score I give. But then skip back, if I have to suffer through watching this crap then the least you can do is suffer through reading it.
Glen has appeared and even he is mocking the claims of there being a Grey Lady. Yvette insists she is real.
This is a suspiciously long conversation between Yvette and Glen at the start of the show, we are nearly ten minutes in and all they have done is walk in a few rooms and talked about what anyone could find out off wikipedia, I am guessing this is classic filler.
After 10 minutes of filler they finally put the black and white filters on and start the investigation.
Yvette has a crappy wind up torch. Antix are struggling with the budget these days it seems.
Outside with Fred, Stuart and Glen, and Fred is talking Latin to an old rock. Yes really.
Karl is on his own in what used to be a mortuary, but now is just a load of old boxes with files in them.
Worth noting that Yvette does not put on as much eye makeup as she used to.
15 minutes in and nothing of note has happened. Like nothing at all.
Fred is trying to summon Lucifer Prince of Darkness.
God I hope this is not one of those episodes whereby the deliberately don't fake anything so that their idiot fans can claim this is proof they don't fake things. (Spoiler: It is just that)
It says something when the highlight so far of this series was the Producer's Bum Bag.
Oh those were the days.
As I am watching this and nothing is happening all I can think is "have I ever given a minus score before?"
Down with Karl and there is a bang, as usual he is down in a cellar like area, I am guessing those ghost rats are back.
In other news Karl's receding hairline is getting further back on his head. Although to be fair I am not one to talk, My hair is currently in a race against itself, either to turn white or fall out.
Yvette is still trying to push her "call back phenomena", she then explains what it means to the ghosts. Its a bit like when you are a kid and you try to give yourself a cool nickname and keep using it in the hope others will start using it for you, but it never catches on and you just look like a fool.
Did you know that at school I was known as "The Body Adonis". True story. Honestly.
This episode reminds me of a football game that ends 0-0, with no shots on target, no incidents, and no fouls.
Karl is doing his best to kick some things OFF CAMERA to make noises, but with it not really making good TV he decides to leave the cellar area.
Glen - "Where shall I put this"
Yvette - "Just stick it in there"
The highlight of Glen's day right there people!
Karl has met up with Stuart and they have gone to Room 222 which is supposedly haunted.
Suddenly with Yvette, Glen and Fred there is the sound of a little whimper, it is clearly a cat. No doubt about that, but we get endless replays and enhanced sound.
30 minutes in and nothing has happened, other than a cat whimpering, Karl kicking a box, and Fred asking for Lucifer to turn up.
Even Stuart and Karl have sat down now as they are so bored.
Suddenly there is the sound of footsteps upstairs so they jump up and run upstairs. A door closes. Finally a bit of excitement. Ok excitement is a stretch, but it is better than nothing.
Karl declares proudly "That's paranormal" because there was no one upstairs when they had a look.
Worth noting that the sound of someone walking could easily have been added in post production.
Karl and Stuart then mess about in a room for 5 minutes, opening and closing doors.
This episode is 100% proof of why you shouldn't try to stretch these investigations into two part episodes, as it means you have to have so much filler. This episode is the perfect example of why the ratings for most Haunted are in the toilet. compared to 10 years ago.
10 years ago Most Haunted specials would regularly get over 500 thousand viewers.
Glen's body language here will be matching every viewer watching this tonight.
Even the biggest of fans will be disappointed in tonight's episode, but sadly they will also use it as proof that Most Haunted is real as they even show investigations whereby nothing happens, therefore they must be legit.
After Glen tries to have a thought of his own, Yvette puts him back into his place with a swift slap round the side of his head. Not surprisingly after she assaults him, he starts walking a bit awkwardly, almost as if he is trying to hide something that has grown in his jeans.
Karl whistles and gets S̶t̶u̶a̶r̶t̶ the ghost to whistle back.
And mercifully the episode ends.
We get a short preview from next weeks episode, and we are done.
This was the single worst episode in the history of Most Haunted.
Truly awful. How this ever got cleared to be aired is beyond me.
I will give this episode a special NO SCORE, it does not even deserve the dignity of getting a minus score.
If you read this article before watching the episode, trust me you will miss nothing.
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By Jon Donnis
4 comments:
Maybe unrelated to MH but in the hall on the balcony bit is what looks like a large speaker that maybe they could be using to fake the noises although I could be wrong!
Easier to add sounds in post production. Which is what they do
Am a believer but this is a joke so set up should be banned
For a change, the ghosts are being fairly respectful in this episode. Not much meddling with the audio to make the team out to be incompetent fakers, which of course they aren’t! Even if they were, surely after twenty-two series they would have become so good at it that no expert on the planet would be able to debunk them. The fact that the apparent fakery is so amateurish and easily spotted just goes to prove that it is the ghosts themselves that are engineering it in order to ridicule the Most Haunted team and thereby keep their existence a secret.
So just a couple of instances that can be readily ignored.
The sound effect, Loud Bang With Echo, is reused a couple of times by the ghosts when Karl is in the cellar. They also remove the sounds of walking from adjacent rooms to make Karl out to be using suggestion to create a sense of anticipation in the viewer.
The footsteps heard by Yvette have been replaced by the sound of somebody tapping the camera microphone.
When Karl and Stuart are sitting waiting for something to happen, the ghosts align the sound of the walking above exactly to the movement of Karl’s right leg which is crossed over his left. What, so we are meant to think that he is tapping out the sounds with his hidden left leg but his visible right is giving the game away because they are touching? No one would believe that! And when the duo rush to the door to the stairs to investigate the rooms above, the ghosts prevent the sight of the door moving by itself from being recorded by the camera to again make Karl out to be using suggestion, but this is all too blatant.
You ghosts might as well just face it, the Most Haunted team are going nowhere. So go ahead, keep sabotaging any evidence they document, because no matter how risibly poor each episode turns out to be due solely to your interference, they will continue to be made.
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