I hate myself, I want to punish myself, I despise myself. And the only way I have found to correctly deal with my self hatred is to force myself to watch and then review episodes of Most Haunted. It is my version of self flagulation.
And with that said, here is my review for Part 2 of the Bate Inn investigation.
Blurb:
Scary stuff! The team continue to investigate Macclesfield's oldest pub and are soon under fire from poltergeist activity. Glen's scepticism is put fully to the test.
Don't you just hate it when they say things like that? "hey are gonna put Glen's Skepticism to the test". Yet we all know he is fully aware the show is faked, he knows what goes on, and he doesn't care because he picks up a pay check. (Spoiler: Nothing happens when he is present that would stump even a passing skeptic)
Anyway we start with a preview of what is to come, hopefully to wet the whistle of the viewer, but the truth is it will only make people roll their eyes and probably turn over. We also get a recap of the previous episode, for a true recap click on the Most Haunted tab on the menu and go read my review.
Also at 10pm tonight on Ch4 is "Celebrity Call Centre for Stand Up to Cancer", it is for charity so definitely worth watching. I watch Most Haunted so you don't have to!
Seems that they are trying to fill as much time as they can. A good 5 minutes of each episode is either a recap or a preview of what is to come.
Not even joking, here we are at 4 minutes 30 seconds + and they are still on the "Last time on..." screen.
Fred was pretty quiet in part 1, I wonder if he will have more to do in part 2.
We start off and he is talking to Yvette.
"I am not a psychic but I have a vision of children" - Fred Batt
Stuart is excited about a door opening and closing downstairs, there is no sound of the hinges, which would go to show there is very little friction on the door, and if not locked any kind of breeze or air pressure would easily make the door move.
We get a good few minutes of the door moving a bit and Stuart getting excited. At no point does anyone go down stairs to look at the door, to check if anyone is there, to set up a camera. No they just look down from the stairs.
Karl is still talking to the ghost rats in the cellar as they scratch and run about by the barrels.
Again despite having his iPhone in his pocket, he just walks around with his main camera pointing at him.
Why not set up your mobile to film you from the opposite side of the cellar, to prove it is not you chucking stones etc. There are electricity outlets down there, so the phone could be plugged in, so no bullshit claims of the battery draining.
Glen is talking to his laptop, perhaps hoping he will "accidentally" connect to one of the special web chat videos he is a regular on.
"Are there any spirits here in this bar...?" - Glen
Yes Glen there are, Johnnie Walker and Jim Bean to name just a couple.
I assume this was filmed early in the year, looks like Glen has put on some timber after having a good Christmas!
Back with Stuart and Yvette on the stairs and they spot a shadown down below, which is clearly the shadow of whoever is down there fannying about with the door.
Remember Ghosts do not have physical form, so they would not, if real cast a shadow, only a real person could.
If we are saying ghosts have physical form, then why is there not a single piece of credible footage anywhere, in history? This is the problem with idiot ghost hunters, they cant even make their minds up one what it is they think they believe in.
Stuart says there is definitely a shadow down there!
I wonder what could possibly be causing a shadow down there, especially when the cameraman has a big strong light on his camera which is lighting up the back of Stuart as he waves his hands about.
I half expect him to say
"Look the shadow is waving back at me just as a wave at him"
To be fair it is not Stuart who is causing the shadow to move, there is someone down there OFF CAMERA moving about, it is plain to see. Probably Karl. Remember this show is filmed out of order, so just because they cut to an edit of Karl in the cellar does not mean that he was in the cellar as they cut away from Yvette. This is television folks. Trust nothing!
Finally after 5 minutes of doing nothing, Stuart is told to go and investigate, he does NOT take a camera with him, which makes him investigating completely pointless.
Also during this scene, notice that Yvette is pointing a strong torch down the stairs too, so another way to create shadows.
The ONLY correct way to investigate this would be to put ALL of the lights on, set up 3 cameras at the bottom of the stairs covering all angles, and then wait.
Riveting footage of Karl claiming that the noises in the cellar that he is hearing are "not natural". Poor ghost rats might take offence at that.
Notice how they use 3 shots in one here to convince you that all three shots happened at the same time.
Yvette is now singing again, she is really pushing the ghost children angle. They hear a sound downstairs and they all run to see. The door is open again, of course no camera was put down there. And a ball has appeared. Remember how they said in Part 1 that they would put a camera on the ball. Clearly they did not.
Glen is seeing things and seems incapable of debunking a very simply thing.
He claims there is no source for some lights that appeared on a wall. Yet he has his laptop open and the light on his camera.
Karl is now claiming that barrels are moving, yet he didn't think to leave a camera filming them.
I expect he is doing some basic edits here, and moving them himself and adding in the sounds later.
Glen has picked up a whisper on his laptop. Could be anything, so worthless as evidence.
20 minutes in and this episode is dragging. A lot of filler much like the first episode.
Yvette doesn't want her photo taken by Glen, she knows all to well what he will do with that photo later!
Straight in the special "Yvette Folder"
Now a barrel has moved, two easy options for this, when he was filming the opposite way, he simply kicked it with his foot and it rolled a bit. Or the audio has been recorded later and Karl hidden off camera simply moved it. Either way because there is only one shot it is impossible to eliminate fraud.
Stuart is now complaining about the battery draining on his camera. Think they need to buy a new battery.
Funny how the batteries on their mic packs, watches, mobiles etc never seem to run low.
Glen finally gets some skin to skin contact with Yvette, but it is only a finger tip. But better than nothing.
Karl and Stuart are now on the stairs again, some interesting audio edits here whereby they go completely silent. Something very dodgy here, I am guessing they cut some audio of Karl directing Stuart what to do next, so I am expecting a stunt here or something.
As expected there is a noise and some panic.
Then as Stuart pans to the staircase again, there is a bang and a blatant video edit. And a door that was stood up is now lying flat on the floor. Then the ball from earlier is suddenly thrown down the stairs.
The video edit to look for is at exactly 30m38s if you watch through the UKTV website.
They have used this editing trick before to move things that cant be done quickly.
100% fakery at this point. The ball is chucked by Stuart most likely, who would have it in his hand.
Again there is only 1 camera filming all of this. A simple cellphone plugged into a wall filming them both from across the way would be able to instantly debunk all of my criticisms, but we all know that everything I am saying is true.
Also this pub has CCTV, did Most Haunted ask them to turn off the CCTV? If not, then lets have a look at it!
Notice before the edit Stuart is not out of breath, after the edit he can hardly catch his breath, almost as if he had been running about, moving heavy doors and so on.
The biggest problem with the door stunt was the setup wasn't detailed enough. Poor planning.
Yvette decides to gather everyone together for a group "vidgual".
Time for some glass divination.
No controls put in place.
And as you would expect with lots of people touching the glass, it starts to move. Clearly being pushed by the people touching it.
Again a simple control here would be to place a single marble or small ball on top of the glass, and then a flat piece of wood on top of that, and everyone put their fingers on that.
Another simple control is a small thin piece of smooth cloth just on the top of the glass and people put their fingers on that, if anyone is pushing then the cloth would move.
This is basic stuff that an 8 year old could think of to prevent fraud.
Remember when Yvette once tried to do this with gloves on, and got caught pushing the glass?
Go look for it on Youtube.
Glen is now insulting the ghosts using all the insults that Yvette has called him over the years.
Fred spouts some Latin sounding bullshit.
Thankfully only about 10 minutes left now.
There is a noise and the door is open, Yvette claims to see shadows, note that everyone is pointing their torches down there as well as the light from the cameras.
Another bang and a small stool has been thrown OFF CAMERA.
Yvette acts all surprised.
Remember she is a trained actress you know!
The glass is moving about on the very very smooth table. Now Yvette is asking the ghost of Fred's foot to knock to spell out its name. "William" She is asking the ghost to look at her mobile to help her spell out his name. The idea that a ghost would even know what a smartphone is is ridiculous.
The name is William Harris and he died in 1862.
Fred checks his notes and amazingly there was someone who was there called William Harris who was a servant and he worked there in 1851. I wonder if they forgot the year when they were doing the knocks?
Apparently the ghost is happy and doesn't need their help. Yet we are supposed to accept that this ghost hangs about an old pub for the past 160+ years.
And thankfully that is the end of the episode.
This might very well be one of the worst episodes I have ever seen of Most Haunted.
There was no Watson in this episode, and Lou's bum bang was not shown on camera, therefore I am forced to give it a 0.5/10
The 0.5 is only awarded since they did make an effort to do a video edit to put the door on the floor, but the set up was so poor that it just didn't work very well at all.
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By Jon Donnis
1 comment:
Those pesky spirits continue to make Karl seem foolish by dropping in a blatant sound effect, Loud Bang With Echo, or similar, as he investigates the cellar. They probably lifted it from the sample folder of the very software used to capture the EVPs so as to incriminate the Most Haunted crew while keeping their own existence a secret. The ghosts also continue to make the genuine noises seem to emanate next to Karl’s free hand instead of from the next room where Karl is actually hearing them from. Very sneaky! But not sneaky enough to remember to include the sound effects they added to the previous episode in the replays at the beginning of this one.
When he and Stewart are investigating at the top of the stairs and there is a loud bang, something nasty again starts to meddle with the camera audio. The duo start to hear footsteps walking up the stairs beyond the door at the opposite end of the room, but to the viewer it sounds like the noises are coming from directly below the camera and they do not sound like walking, but someone tapping the heel of their boot against the floor. Next, at the doorway to the stairs, with the duo understandably terrified by the actual footsteps ascending towards them, a faint whisper is caught saying something like, “Here mate, make sure the camera is pointing at the end of the corridor.” Shortly after this, a loud bang is heard, as of a door falling, but the ghosts manipulate the audio again (in that uncanny way they have of interfering with electrical equipment) so that it sounds like it is coming from behind the camera and not in front of the camera beyond the doorway to the stairs. Then the ghosts cut the audio completely for a couple of seconds which also cuts short the sound of Stewart yelling his reaction to the sound. But this places him close to where the ghosts have shifted the loud bang; but this cannot be, because Stewart is holding the camera at the opposite end of the room! When the ghosts allow the audio to continue they make sure to drain Stewart of energy so that he sounds suspiciously exhausted when his voice comes through close to the camera mike again!
So why would the ghosts do this? This is what I think they want the viewer to deduce from this scene. The viewer will have no doubt noticed all the loose doors propped up against walls in the lead up to this scene. Indeed, one is situated next to Stewart’s free hand just out of shot when he looks into the camera and calls out the ghosts. So it is made to look like Stewart is simply wobbling this to create the first noise; and then starts tapping the heel of his boot on the floor to create the walking sound. He and Karl then move across the room to investigate the stairway where they claim the walking is coming from. As they approach the door, Stewart suspiciously lowers the camera to within about two foot of the floor, because he is “scared” and using Karl as a human shield against the approaching footsteps. This is when the whisper is heard (in Stewarts voice) which is Karl’s cue to carefully take the camera and keep it “pointing at the end of the corridor.” This switch is smoothly achieved because the camera is low down so Karl can keep his arm out of shot. Stewart then quietly walks back across the room to push over one of the loose doors, probably the one he had previously wobbled, to make the crash sound, but he can't help yelling out, which gives away his true location. But that is ok because the sound of him running back across the room is cut in the edit: the two-second silence. He receives the camera back from Karl to complete the trick, but the act of pushing over the door and running back can be clearly heard in his raspy breathing.
Like I said, this is what the ghosts want us to think, because by making the Most Haunted team out to be nothing more than incompetent fakers serves to keep their existence a secret from the living. But I am not fooled by their devious trickery. In a world (physical and astral) mired in fake news, I am unashamed to say, “I do NOT believe!”
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