REVIEW: Most Haunted Shorts Episode 1 - Aired on Youtube 14/06/2019

I'd hoped that I wouldn't have to write another Most Haunted review at least until October, as that is the usual time new episodes are released, but with no official word on a new series airing on UKTV channel REALLY, and me being repeatedly told by the Most Haunted Mole that UKTV are refusing to pay their previous amount per episode for Most Haunted, and threatening to shelve the show completely, we find ourselves at a fork in the road.

Probably about 13 years too late, Karl Beattie and Yvette Fielding have decided to knock up a Youtube Channel for Most Haunted, the thought being that if they don't get back on REALLY, at least they can put their shows online, and perhaps make money from ad revenue, or even by charging people per episode. Imagine if they had done this 13 years ago, they would have millions of subscribers! Instead I expect they will top off at about 50k.

So far their efforts have been a mixed bag, their first full "investigation" was done in portrait mode from a mobile phone, which made it pretty much unwatchable, and ended up with hundreds of complaints, and other uploads just being stuff that was not good enough to make the TV episodes.

Despite the teething problems they have managed to get about 19,000 subscribers, which is a decent amount. And they got about 63,000 views for the mobile phone investigation, but just 29,000 views for a 22 minute "Unseen Vigil" (read that as crap that didn't make the TV). So they definitely lost some viewers. But it is still early days. And there is still chance to grow, so with this being their 3rd go at putting a proper episode on Youtube, and their 2nd "broadcast quality" attempt, I thought I would give it a watch (so you don't have to) and give it my opinion.

Despite them claiming this is a "Short" it is actually only about 5 minutes shorter than a regular episode. Usually without ad breaks an episode runs 45 minutes, take out a minute beginning and end for the credits, and then take out the "previously on" and "coming up on" clips. And an episode really is only about 41 or 42 minutes long. This Most Haunted Short is 37 minutes long. So it is about as good a "test" as you will get as to the viability of having Most Haunted air as an online only entity.

It is also worth noting that they cant fiddle the viewership numbers like they do with the televised viewings.

Blurb:
"This is the first episode of the Most Haunted: Shorts series. The Most Haunted team embarks on another investigation. Can they complete the job without a scratch?"

Well no idea where they are at from the blurbage, maybe they will mention once it starts?

The credits role and in voice over Yvette tells us we are going to two investigations. Karl and Stuart at Hereford Shire Hall. And Yvette and Glen at Ruthin Castle. I think this will be left over footage from this episode from last year that was filmed in June.

REVIEW: Most Haunted (24th October 2018) - Ruthin Castle

There is no walk around, no Yvette doing a piece into camera while walking down a stair case. We are straight into black and white, and the investigation has begun.

I would suggest that when this was filmed, they had no plans for a Youtube channel, otherwise they would have filmed it with that in mind including an intro.

Glen goes into Room 222. This feels familiar? I have wiped past episodes out of my mind, so apologies if you do remember it.

We cut to Karl and he is at Hereford Shire Hall in the Old Cells. This doesn't ring any bells, so maybe this was from one of the episodes I missed?

I'm already regretting watching this. Usually by the time they get into the investigations, the episode is 10 minutes old. This will be hard work.

Glen has gotten his laptop out, he quickly closes down his Google Chrome Browser which had 15 tabs open, all to some site, I could only make out Hamster. No idea what that could be.

We get a replay of what Yvette describes in voice over as a whimper.
If real it could be anything from a crew member to a bird, or even a cat. Or it could have just been added in post production to make what was a boring scene seem more interesting.

I think the reason that a lot of this footage would not have been used originally is because it is all too similar to what else they probably used in the episode.

Out of nowhere Yvette makes a comment about Glen's big potatoes. I assume she is referring to his testicles. (I am not joking, just after 7 minutes). Glen questions her description, and she quantifies it by saying he is "hard".

I have never seen Glen look so pleased with a description of himself before! Big potatoes and Hard! His Christmas has come early it seems.

Back with Karl and Stuart and suddenly there is a noise OFF CAMERA!
They run along a corridor and apparently the noise came from someone rattling a filing cabinet.

Karl recreates the noise, and proves that any human could have made the noise.

Suddenly there is another noise OFF CAMERA, and Karl and Stuart go running again.

I believe the phrase you are looking for here is "Same old, same shit".

In case you forgot the routine, all of this could be proven real if they simply used more than one camera. Put an iPhone on the side and pressed record, anything as simple as that and they prove the existence of ghosts, but of course, despite being 20+ series in, they still haven't thought of that, so the choice here is they are totally incompetent as investigators, or they are lying. I will leave you to make your minds up which.

As Yvette keeps thinking about Glen's big balls, she films his arse as he goes up the steps ahead of her, suddenly he makes a sex noise, she thinks it is a ghost, but he admits it was him. Yvette refuses to accept that it was Glen, and then changes what she heard and makes out it was a growl, the replay proves there was no growl.

Glen is doing his best to act tough to the ghosties.

Worth noting you can clearly hear people talking outside. Instantly this makes any noises they hear worthless, as it could easily be someone outside.

Cause we are on youtube, that means they don't have to edit out any swearing. And Stuart is taking advantage of that.

Yvette has pulled out the Ouija board, and both her and Glen are lightly fingering the glass.

Yvette starts to clearly push the glass, there is no doubt, no confusion, Yvette is just pushing the glass about.

Yvette claims the table is moving, and as you can see it is one of those flimsy fold-able tables, so hardly surprised it is moving.

Now Yvette is swearing!

Yvette stops the Ouija Board as perhaps she realises it is too obvious that it is her pushing the glass.

"Is anybody there? Knock once for yes, twice for no"

With Karl and Stuart, and they are talking to the ghost, even Karl admits there is a car park right outside where they are and they can hear people outside talking and moving about. You can also hear birds tweeting.

We then get a little set up, and it is pretty clear something will happen.

Karl gets into position, and Stuart proudly states he will stay here to get a wide shot, we then get a bang that was clearly not live and added in post production, Karl does his best bit of acting, and apparently a wooden crate moved and banged. OFF CAMERA.

Notice that Karl literally has his Smartphone in his hand, as he is using the light off it as a torch. He could just click record on the camera, and he would have just caught it on camera, instead he is just using the light.

Incompetence or fakery? There is no other option.

They really try to present this as proof of the paranormal. And the idiot fans lap it up.

22 minutes in out of 37 total, and boy am I bored already.

Glen has seen his chance, and moves in for the kill, he starts to seductively stroke behind Yvette's ear.

Just as Yvette is about to Orgasm, her pelvis hasn't been this far apart since childbirth, she gets spooked by something, and for once they actually capture it ON CAMERA!!

Yes Ladies and Gentleman, a GHOST BAT is caught on camera. Yvette says M*ther F*cker. And Most Haunted has hit a new low.

The replays are hilarious, as it keeps replaying Yvette nearly cumming as the ghost bat flies behind them.

The ghost bat has completely killed the mood, and Yvette has clenched up. Poor Glen, he got so close.

Karl and Stuart are stomping about a bit.

Yvette and Glen check the laptop for EVP and the episode pretty much abruptly ends.

10 seconds of credits, a little dodgy voice over by Yvette which sounds like it was recorded on a built in laptop microphone and that's that.

With a bit of effort they could have easily stretched this another 5 minutes and claimed it was a proper episode.

With the last series literally filmed over just 4 nights and then stretched to 10 episodes, they can easily create plenty of content for their Youtube Channel, the problem is not the quantity, but the quality. And I expect that they will churn out any old crap onto the channel, and people will soon stop watching.

To make money on youtube you need millions of views, and even then you face the problem of companies not wanting to advertise on certain channels if they do not deem them to be good converters. (People who click through and then purchase or sign up to whatever is being advertised).

Content that contains bad language means no advertisers of children's products. Channels which feature the occult means no religious advertising. Those are two of the biggest groups of advertisers out the window straight away.

It is early days and if Most Haunted decide to, or if they have no other choice but to go online only, then youtube is their best bet, but if they think they can make money from it, they are deluded.

At best they can film during their Most Haunted Experience tours, use that footage to make up episodes, and put it online for free just to keep the name out there and hope it helps drive people to their live experience tours. Perhaps create enough content to release a DVD every so often. That would be their best bet.

Unless things change and UKTV decide to pay for another series, this could very well be the future for Most Haunted, no more than a youtube show, no different to the hundreds of other similar ghost hunting shows out there.

As a stand alone episode this was poor, and you could understand why this footage never made previous episodes. I give it a 0 out of 10. Don't waste your time.

And no I have no interest in embedding the episode here, or sending them views. If you really want to watch it I am sure you can find it. But let's be clear here, one review of mine gets more views/reads than an episode of Most Haunted will ever get on youtube, even if it is a "short".

If the show moves permanently to YouTube, then I see no reason why I would review it. It simply wouldn't benefit me or this site. But you never know.

Review by Jon Donnis.

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By Jon Donnis

Rove takes a look at "The One" a TV series testing psychics including Ezio De Angelis

Rove, formerly Rove Live, was an Australian television variety show which premiered on the Nine Network on 22 September 1999, before moving to Network Ten which aired the program from 2000 until November, 2009. The show was hosted by comedian Rove McManus, and featured an ensemble cast, who presented various segments throughout the course of the show. The show won the Logie Award for "Most Popular Light Entertainment Program" five times (2002, 2003, 2005, 2007 and 2009).

Here Rove takes a look at "The One" a TV series testing psychics.
Featuring Mitchell Coombes, Rayleen Kable, Shé D'Montford, Jason Betts, Amanda Roussety, Ezio De Angelis and Charmaine Wilson.

Is self proclaimed "Psychic Medium" Lorraine Ash a Racist as well as a terrible Psychic?

For those of you with a really long memory, I had a run in with Lorraine Ash nearly a decade ago. You can read all about that By Clicking Here but for once this is not about me. I was recently contacted by a concerned person from West Bromwich regarding a recent show they attended that featured Lorraine Ash as the main act.

Now this person has asked not to be named in fear of reprisals from Lorraine Ash, or those associated with her. I have had reports in the past from people, and even other so called psychics who have told me of the kind of things Lorraine Ash has done to protect her bottom line, so I can understand the fear, and I will happily keep their name out of this report. But to make life easier, I will refer to this person as Julie.

Lorraine Ash had advertised her Evening of Mediumship on Facebook

And this very post had been advertised and paid for by Lorraine Ash to appear as a "Sponsored Post" across facebook. Despite getting only 38 likes and 32 shares, this ad appeared on "Julie's" Facebook Timeline, and although Julie had visited a psychic in the past, this was her first time going to see Lorraine Ash, and Julie decided to take her young son along for company.

During the show Lorraine Ash went to Julie to give her a reading, here is what Julie told me....

"She happened to pick a vibe or energy from me and proceeded to give me a reading. First she asked me about violet sweets and why she kept seeing that, I said I didn't know, then she described a bible bashing church woman in a suit who came through to contact me, I told her I didn't know who she was talking about."

Well the sweets are the kind of thing a psychic may come out with in a reading, but to go straight to a "Bible bashing Church woman in a suit", it's not something you hear very often, it is rather specific, although Lorraine got things wrong.

"Then she kept on saying she's getting a 'V' name I said I don't know anyone with a name beginning with V so she said maybe the name had a V sound in it but didn't begin with the letter  V and I couldn't think of anybody."

Now I wonder if when Lorraine mentioned "Violet Sweets" she was hoping the name Violet would hit, but when it didn't she thought she would stick with the letter V. She fails again, and again.

"So she starts to get really angry with me and said "I don't like these types of readings, your making me sound like I'm a liar or fake or something" . "

No Lorraine Ash, you can not and should never blame your victim for making you look like a liar and a fake, you are responsible for your own actions, and to try and blame the person receiving the reading is disgraceful.

"She turns to another woman she was hosting the event with and asks if she could pick up the name and the lady told her it was Veronica. I said I didn't know anybody by that name and I could see her getting worried and more and more angry."

This has actually happened to me before, during a reading when the medium starts to fail badly, they try to get the help of another medium present, they usually do this to help share the blame, after all if two mediums are wrong then it must be the victims fault right!

"Finally she said she's linking to a person who got shot in the neck,I said I didn't know anybody who'd been shot and she had enough and said maybe it's someone in my ex partners family or a past relative I didn't know and said she had nothing more to pass on and moved onto the next."

Much like the Bible Bashing woman in a suit description earlier, we now have a really specific claim regarding someone who had been shot in the neck.

Again completely wrong. But it is two really specific things that Lorraine said, and not your typical cold reading characters that psychics tend to throw out for an easy fit.

"Nothing she said was right, I felt like she was cold reading because I was the only black woman in the room" 

And suddenly the light bulb has gone off in your head just as it has mine.

"Julie", the victim of Lorraine Ash on this Evening of Mediumship is a black woman, and the only black person other than her son in the whole room.

So is this the reason Lorraine Ash started with a character who was a Bible Bashing woman in a suit? After all the stereotype of an older black woman is often quite strong minded, very religious, as well as being very smartly dressed when going to Church. (I must say I'm always impressed by the effort put in by the black community when it comes to dressing up for Church.)

The names Violet and Veronica are both common names in an older age range.

But surely this is not enough on its own to even suggest that Lorraine is racially stereotyping a woman, it is only a name, oh wait remember what she said about a man being shot in the neck.

Well if you type "West Bromwich Murder" into google, guess what you get.
http://www.expressandstar.com/news/crime/2016/12/30/carl-campbell-murder-two-men-in-court-over-west-bromwich-shooting/

Late last year a young black man was murdered on West Bromwich High Street, not far from where this Evening of Mediumship was being held. he was shot in the side of the head.

So clearly Lorraine Ash since she is from the Midlands either recalled seeing this report on the news, or just googled some reported deaths before the show, and when she saw "Julie" she assumed because she was the only black person at the show, then of course she would know this black man who was recently murdered.

It is well known that all black people know each other right? No? Are you sure?

So if that is not bad enough lets continue...

"and at one point she asked another woman if there's a "K' name around her and the lady said I have a boyfriend called Kyah.

She asked does he smoke weed? The girl said no so Lorraine Ash said it's around him then. Them she told the same girl "Your granddad in spirit doesn't want you with a black man, but I'm not being racist"

She then looked at me and said don't take that the wrong way, it's not me saying it I'm not racist it's spirit. She addressed me because I was the only black person in the room."

You do realise that whenever some one says "I'm not being racist" they usually are being just that.

"The girl told her "my partner's not black" so Lorraine Ash said to her "well you've been with someone brown before and that's what he's talking about"

I think because the girl said her boyfriend was called Kyah a black sounding name, then Lorraine Ash assumed he was black and so said that he smoked weed."

It really just gets worse for Lorraine Ash doesn't it!
Not only is she a terrible psychic, she also seemingly makes assumptions of race based on names and uses terrible racist stereotypes as part of her act.

"I also feel that she assumed I knew I dead religious person because most elderly black people are deeply religious and so she was guessing based on that."

As I said previously. Lorraine has clearly in my opinion gone beyond basic cold reading here, and moved onto racist stereotypes.

I also felt singled out when she told the girl not to go out with a brown guy as I was the only black person or any other race in the room. I also feel that because I'm black she mentioned a gun and someone getting shot because in this country, gun crime to do with black males are shown alot in the news so she was stereotyping that based on my skin colour, and she assumed that there was a high probability of me knowing a gun crime victim, but I didn't know any.

Especially when it seems pretty clear she assumed that Julie knew the murdered black man from West Bromwich.

"When the show ended I tried to shake her hand but felt snubbed as if she was still angry at me and as I walked off, I looked back and it looked as if she was saying something nasty and spiteful about me by her facial expressions."

I asked Julie why she would try to shake Lorraine's hand after the event she replied

"I tried to shake her hand after the show because I knew I annoyed her because she said I made her seem like she was lying. I just didn't want any hard feelings or bad vibes."

Julie continues

"I got home and I felt angry that I'd just given my money away to someone who in my opinion was not the real deal. I jumped on google to see if anyone had had any bad experiences with her, I found BadPsychics and thought I would let you know my experience as it could help warn others about her..."

And with that what can I say. Lorraine Ash is a terrible psychic, and in my personal opinion she racially profiled Julie, and made some very ignorant comments which are not only offensive to the black community, but offensive to anyone who stands against bigotry and racism. For once the whole pretending to communicate with the dead while taking your money is not the most offensive thing about the psychic medium.

Julie has told me she will never go to see Lorraine Ash again, and also that she doubts she will ever visit a medium again full stop, as the experience has left her feeling very upset that she could be treated in such a way.

Over the many years of me doing what I do, I have a few times come across psychics racially profiling people. I myself were once racially profiled by a psychic. And in West Bromwich funnily enough. I just wish I could remember the name of the psychic but it was a long long time ago, Hell for all i know it could have been Lorraine Ash! During that reading, I was told they could see camels and the desert, Yes folks due to my dark olive tan they assumed i was of Middle Eastern ethnicity.

Anyway have you had a bad experience with Lorraine Ash? If yes leave you comment below.

You can also tweet me on @JonDonnis and send your abuse to @TheBadPsych

You can also join the Forum and share your thoughts there.

We are also on Facebook, just search BadPsychics and you will find us.

By Jon Donnis

REVIEW: Most Haunted - Guys Cliffe House Pt 2 - Airdate 15/03/2019

Sorry for the lateness of this review, but I completely forgot Most Haunted was on, and only realised when I logged onto Twitter to share a story about a Fortune Teller being sent to jail, and saw someone tweeting about the upcoming fake fest on REALLY.

So let's get to business quickly since this is the last of the series.

Blurb
"Yvette Fielding and her team of reprobates continue the investigation into Guys Cliffe House. With something seemingly stalking the crew, the night ends with a vigorous spirit in a very small room."

As always on this multi part episodes, we start off with highlights, and end up with the cliffhanger from last week.

A scaffold pole has fallen OFF CAMERA.

Karl is pretending it is really dark and cant see anything, despite the fact the image is crystal clear proving that there is plenty of light coming from the camera itself.

Since it happened OFF CAMERA, we have no way of knowing if it was simply kicked by Karl, or pulled with wire etc. After the noise there is enough camera shake and commotion that leaves the viewer unable to genuinely understand how far or close they were.

Some more noises, another pole thrown. OFF CAMERA.

By only using one camera, which is always conveniently filming the wrong way, they can do whatever they like and the idiot Most Haunted fans will believe it.

One for the ladies! Stuart's fat arse.

I remember the days when we had nice shots of Mel Crump's behind, now we get Stuart, and they wonder why the ratings are so low.

They climb out of the cellar, and now they can hear footsteps which could be either Karl or Stuart just making the noise.

"It's evil and powerful" - Stuart Toreville.

Back with Yvette, and we hear a "breath" and we get endless replays.

We then hear a weird noise and again endless replays.

I suspect Fred for both.

Worth noting that you can also clearly hear birds outside.

Ok an important note here, at roughly 13 minutes Yvette clearly states "with morning light soon approaching..." So depending when this was filmed, you would assume that this would indicate a time of early morning, so let's say 3am at the earliest, but could be later. Just keep that in mind for later.

The teams split and Yvette sets up for a seance. Now any time they use a static camera you know to always be suspicious.

Notice the clock above the table.

Does that look like early morning to you? I wonder if we can get a shot of Karl's watch to confirm the time?

They carry on the seance and claim they can hear people talking.
They hear some creaking, Karl claims it's probably his chair despite the fact he is not moving. I wonder if someone else in the room OFF CAMERA is moving about.

Beardy looks out the window, Yvette claims she can feel the table moving. Are you getting suspicious yet? They lied about the time, they have a static camera, you cant see under the table. I wonder what will happen?

Suddenly the table starts to levitate! YES REALLY.

The table is lifted in the air, but it is not by Yvette, Karl or Beardy, the chair closest to the camera, of which you can just see the top of remains still.

How are they doing this?

It keeps moving.

Beardy says they should get another camera to film under the table, Karl quickly shuts him down and says "there needs to be some trust at this point".

The table twists quite far round, so they tell the ghost they will move it back. They then all laugh because the table is heavy and hard to move. They move it and then they screw up.

At 20m00s if you watch on the UKTV website for the time frame, they move the table back, but the chair by the front of the camera moves on its own, almost as if someone hidden under the table is readjusting their position. Whoops.

The shot then ends and they cross to someone else.

Ok, so let's analyse the whole segment, we started with the camera in a static position, at no point could you see under the table, and a chair moved by itself near the camera, and they did not react to it.

This was clearly missed in the edit, or they hoped you would not notice it.

How did they do this? Easy, Stuart is under the table on all fours, he is using his back to lift the table, the table moves exactly as you would expect it to if being lifted that way. This is blatant fakery.

The first thing any real investigator would do the moment a table started moving would be to film under the table, this could be done with any of their smartphones, but instead we have to "trust" them.

We cut back to Yvette and they now are filming under the table since Stuart has clearly moved now.

As the camera is now on the floor, we cant see their hands, and the table starts to move, no where near as much as before, just a bit.

They put the camera on the table, and ask the ghosts to move it. The camera starts to shake and move.

It is literally just Stuart standing there shaking it. Again they have no second camera, so we just have to take their word.

We then get a recorded piece of footage of Stuart elsewhere apparently on his own, just so the viewer doesn't suspect him as moving the table and camera.

If there is just one person watching this who thinks this is all legit then I despair.

We get a clear shot of the clock that says 11pm.

Remember the lie Yvette told earlier about the time!

But maybe the clock on the wall is wrong, it's possible I guess.

Oh wait we have Karl's watch clearly in view.

Flipped around and it shows 11pm.

Look I know this isn't much, but it does show that they lie about the time, this is something I moan about week in week out, that things are filmed out of order, people aren't where they are when they say they are. These are not "all night" investigations like they want to you think.

They turn up at a location, they have a few drinks, something to eat, they film for a maximum of 3 hours, then they go home. That's it.

And in those 3 hours, they get all this activity.
Yet any ghost hunter will tell you they might sit for hour after hour and nothing ever happens.

Most Haunted is faked.

We get the obligatory split screen, despite the fact they only have 2 cameras, we are led to believe that these shots are all happening at the same time.

Karl picks up the camera, and the table starts moving again, clearly he is just pulling it with his spare hand.

We get some footage from Stuart, he is walking about, hearing the odd noise from things being thrown OFF CAMERA.

Back with the table, and ask yourself why does Karl stay so close to them to film. He moves back to get the whole table in shot, but again he doesn't film under the table, as obviously Stuart is under the far corner. They edit the footage which allows them to put Stuart in position, remove him and so on.

They stand up, position the camera to make sure it is not filming under the table of course.
They are trying to prove none of them are lifting it, but no one thinks they were, it is obviously someone underneath.

This is all getting silly now.

We get a quick shot of Fred summoning the devil, that was fun but it was also an important edit so that Stuart could move out of position, for another shot where Beardy picks up the camera and films around to prove no one is there.

I just checked Twitter to see what I assumed would be hundreds of people laughing at the ridiculousness of the episode, and incredibly Most Haunted fans think it is all real.

Karl reveals the whole thing reminded him of a proper Victorian Seance. And yes he is 100% right. They were faked too.

And with that the episode ends, and I am truly saddened that there are people out there that think this is all real.

I give the episode a 3/10
They made an effort to do some fakery with the table moving and camera shaking, however it was so obviously faked (to sane people anyway) that perhaps they could have done it better.


Review by Jon Donnis.

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By Jon Donnis

REVIEW: Most Haunted - Guys Cliffe House Pt 1 - Airdate 08/03/2019

So close but still so far, "from what?" I hear you say, why from the end of this series of Most Haunted. So close I can almost taste it.

I am still trying to find out more about why Karl and Fred fell out, the rumour is that Fred is refusing to bankroll episodes any more (which is why they keep doing multiple episodes in one location to save money), but Fred still had a contract to appear on the show, so Karl was unable to get rid of him.

All this behind the scenes stuff is far more interesting than the show itself, only time will tell where things will end up, but if Karl Beattie can't convince UKTV to buy any more episodes, and no other station wants it, they will simply move the show online and film it at the same time as their live experience tours, or something along those lines.

I did hear there was talk that they would include fans in future episodes simply because they wouldn't need to pay them, and in fact many fans would probably pay to appear on the show themselves.

Anyway, enough with the rumours, lets get on with the blurbage.

BLURB
"Yvette takes her team to the mysterious Guys Cliffe House in Warwickshire, once a private dwelling and now home to the Fraternal Brotherhood of Freemasons."

Summer is over and it is an unwelcome return of the Premier League Managers coat for Yvette.

This week they are in Guys Cliffe House in Warwickshire. Appears to just be an old ruin other than a chapel, so I am guessing the owners want to rent it out to idiot ghost hunters.

Yvette recounts the usual ghost stories that all seem very similar regardless of where they go.

Yvette reveals that much like her own sex life, the property is derelict and abandoned, which is a shame, personally I'd knock the whole thing down and replace it with a mighty erection. The property that is, not Yvette's sex life, although.....

Glen has never been known for his fashion sense, but seriously, the absolute state of him here.

Yvette reveals that there has been lots of accounts of Poltergeist here, so I am guessing Karl will be throwing something later.

The investigation starts, and they have split into groups.

And straight away Karl is hearing noises and getting scared already. Again they use the edited in post production split screen to prove everyone is accounted for, despite the fact they only have two cameras, and scenes are not all filmed at the same time.

But why let facts get in the way of the bleeding obvious.

Glen looks tired, tired of all the chasing.

With Stuart's group again and there is a sound, something has been thrown OFF CAMERA.
A house brick has been chucked. They investigate and find no one hiding, so must be the ghosts.

Yvette is trying to get the ghosts to knock, I am sure they will a little later on.

Glen claims he has gone cold, but then beardy claims the room is roasting and the hottest he has ever been on Most Haunted. They really need to work on getting their stories to match. I think beardy misheard Glen and thought he said he was hot. Whoops.

As Karl walks about he is just kicking things to make noises and then reacting, all pretty pathetic.
He even admits at the end of his segment that he cant see anything and keeps walking into things.

Stuart and his gang are still having things thrown OFF CAMERA. The problem is they are in the ruins part of the property, so basically they are out doors, so even if you 100% believe they are not chucking things, it would be easy for someone on the wind up to be sneaking about and chucking things to wind them up.

"Dear God, I have been a good Glen, I have worked hard, kept to myself, never really caused any trouble, never said anything controversial, I don't even throw stuff OFF CAMERA while filming Most Haunted, but once, just once, can you make Yvette jump on me, maybe grab my butt, or caress my chest, just something I can put in the wank bank for later, if you do, I promise I will be good for ever, and go to Church every Sunday from now on, Amen"

Beardy, Glen and Yvette are still in the chapel, hearing noises, but nothing much really happening.
Yvette is convinced the long bench they are sitting on is shaking, of course us as a viewer have no way to relate to what they are claiming, so what could they do here? Well tell Glen to get off the bench first, then get a marble and put it on the bench, film the marble, does it move? Really simply way to show to the viewer something that the camera cant pick up.

We cross to Karl and as he conveniently looks one way while filming another direction, a door closes OFF CAMERA.

Worth noting here how grainy and dark the footage is from Karl's camera, this is what it really looks like when it is dark, unlike when they usually claim it is dark but the footage is super clear.

Karl is hearing more noises, everything OFF CAMERA.

Pretty much half way through the episode and nothing of note has happened so far.

Back with Stuart and another brick has been chucked, they actually catch it landing ON CAMERA! But sadly not from where it was thrown, which was clearly from outside the tunnel they are in.

For some reason chubby bloke has no idea the difference between a house brick and a masonry slab.

Anyway once again a real investigator would have put a camera on the far end covering the entrance, but this is Most Haunted and they are not real investigators.

Getting quite bored now.

Back with Stuart and he claims that he is not exaggerating when he says that a ghost could kill them.

Karl is trying to get the ghost to close the door, I feel like he is building up to a stunt here.

"Dead God, Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, yes yes yes yes yes, straight in the wank bank, that will last me for weeks, thank you God, I knew you were real!"

They split up the teams again as Glen claims a ghost attacked him and he now has ectoplasm all over his jeans, so he needs to clean it up.

Karl has joined with Stuart, so I can only assume something good is about to happen, probably at the end of the episode as a cliffhanger.

I wonder if Yvette has a bit of trapped wind and needed to crouch to let it out?

Glen has cleaned the ectoplasm off his jeans, and has now found a room he can look at his laptop in. He starts to record for EVPs.

Stuart starts to sing famous R. Kelly song "I Believe I Can Fly" and doing the actions with his hands, Karl quickly warns him that perhaps a R Kelly song is not the best to sing in the current climate, Karl suggests "I wish I could fly by Orville the Duck", as they don't believe Orville has had any sex slaves, raped anyone, or even run a sex cult. But then you never know.

With Yvette and they claim to be hearing knocks etc, but if you listen closely you can clearly hear the sounds of birds, and what do birds like to do? Yep you got it, tap, knock, walk about, generally make noise. EVERYTHING they have heard in this episode that wasn't obviously faked, could easily be put down to birds, And then there are squirrels, they could be picking things up, dropping them, walking about and so on. In an open environment like this, there are zero controls, so to even talk about bangs and knocks is completely pointless on an evidential level.

Stuart claims he cant see anything, not even the wall, despite the fact the camera filming him has a huge light on it, and the picture quality is crystal clear, so they are hardly in anything close to darkness. More lies exposed. Remember what I said earlier, when it is genuinely dark, the picture will go very grainy. When it is clear, there is a lot of light.

Karl asks the ghosts to copy him and whistles, suddenly there is a whistle back. They cross to Yvette and then they hear a whistle too. Probably the same ghost. Well that or they can hear Stuart and Karl whistling at each other.

Chubby bloke keeps saying he can feel cobwebs on him, well yes mate, you are in an old dilapidated building, you probably have walked through a cobweb or two, and you know how once you have walked through one, you just cant get that feeling off you, well that is what you are experiencing, nothing to do with ghosts, well unless my garage is full of ghosts, because every time I go in I get a sensation of cobwebs.

Karl and Stuart both whistle, and make sure they are both on camera at the same time. There is then a clear whistle heard, but they do not react as you would expect in fact they hardly react at all, and if you listen to the audio of the whistle carefully, it has blatantly been added in post production. Naughty naughty Karl. If it wasn't so blatant you could blame it on the birds.

Well they need a cliffhanger, since this is a two part episode, so they asks the ghosts to do something, there is a bang, and the episode ends. Spoiler it was a big pole that was stood upright earlier, and it has fallen OFF CAMERA, because these two idiots were filming themselves.

So the episode ends, and well nothing really happened did it. Some bricks were thrown from an OFF CAMERA position. There was a whistle added in post production, and some birds did what birds do.

Another really poor episode.

I will give it 1/10, the 1 is purely for Glen proving that God exists.

Review by Jon Donnis.

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