REVIEW: Most Haunted - Series 1 Episode 4 (18th June 2002) Theatre Royal, Drury Lane, London

Welcome to 2018, and despite all the "New Year New Me" bullshit, I am back reviewing a TV show that aired 15 and a half years ago! So perhaps you could say "Same Old Same Shit", but with a nice polish, anything can be made shiny again. And so that brings us to Most Haunted, this time at the Theatre Royal, on Drury Lane. 

Hang on there is something sniffing at my feet, oh it is Watson, the Most Haunted Bulldog. He has something in his mouth, bizarrely it is some kind of book, let me check the title. Here is a photo.

What a bizarre book for Watson to have in his mouth, I wonder where he possibly could have gotten that from? (yes I did this joke before, shut ya face)

Anyway just inside the front cover is a hand written note, and in an amazing coincidence it is the blurb for this weeks Most Haunted episode!

"The Theatre Royal in Covent Garden is the oldest theatre site still in use in London and reputed to be the most haunted theatre in the world. Will the Most Haunted team encounter the theatre's most famous ghost - the Man In Grey?"

Like seriously folks, you do realise that Karl Beattie legit once pretended to be the last real Samurai of Japan, he went on TV shows and did newspaper magazines. It was pretty much instantly exposed as a big scam, but come on, you have to have some balls to make such a ridiculous lie and then use your wife's name, and a big film release as a way to get booked onto TV shows to talk about it.

Hell even Stuart Torevell's failed car sticker business has more credibility.

Anyway onto the show since that is what you are all here for.

Once again I am watching the "Unseen" version of this episode which was released via DVD back in the day, I cant find the original TV airing, but there wont be much difference as far as I know.

Yvette seems to have dropped a mop on her head again, but the all in black look does suit her, in totally unrelated news 2002 was a big year for WWE character The Undertaker. Mainly because he had changed his gimmick to be known as the American Badass. Word from the internet nerds is that he lost his long black leather coat, so was forced to change up his look.

Yvette is walking along the street and hoping that the ghosts will put on a big performance for them. So Yvette in a long black leather coat is talking about the dead. Hmmmm. I am not saying that Yvette Fielding copied her whole gimmick from a TV wrestling character, but come on this is pretty blatant. 

Yvette has found Jason Karl who is sat in the theatre, he has had his eye brows done, and that is all I can now think of, no idea what he is saying, those brows are such a distraction.

As a professionally trained actress, Yvette Fielding must feel quite at home in the theatre. Such a shame that her acting career never took off. 

This is the most recent photo of Jason Karl I can find. Face full of botox, and still holding on to anything vaguely paranormal to keep his career going.

We get a little bit of history from Mark Fox who informs us that....
"The man in grey was a chap"

With insights like this I am not sure why this man isn't a household name.

As we take a look around the theatre, it really is a beautiful place, full of history. Obviously not haunted, that would be silly, but still a wonderful building.

Derek Acorah has arrived, and as usual we are told he has no idea where he was coming to.

And then my favourite scene of any early MH episode, everyone is sat around a table, having fun and chatting about the location. 

Plenty of time for Derek to glean lots of information about the place, read plaques on walls, look at names on paintings and generally do research.

They start and straight away Derek Acorah says he is picking up "absolutely zilch"
Huh? What? Derek did you forget to read the script this week? Come on, if you pick up nothing, then you are not needed. Just pretend, go on, no one will know. Grey lady, hooded man, anything like that will do.

They enter into the main theatre part, and YES! Derek has got himself a ghost, this ghost walks up and down the stairs, he is a troubled soul. 

Derek creates a nice sounding character for this ghost, who stabbed people.
Derek gets a little bit possessed and gives us his first name of the day, and incredibly it is spot on as the on screen graphic tells us.

Slightly disappointed that Derek didn't put on an Irish accent here.
He also gets the second name Arnold.

Acting masterclass from Derek here. Top stuff.

This shot with the cameramen, the lighting and so on, really puts the whole thing into perspective, and shows how ridiculous it is that people could think any of this was real.

A grown man is pretending to be possessed by a dead spirit, while being interviewed by a professionally trained actress and a fake psychologist, while being filmed by at least 3 people, a husband, a cousin and a brother of the main host, and they want us to believe this is all real.

As Derek is being possessed, he talks about someone being jealous of his acting. Not sure who. Maybe Jason Karl.

Some incredible acting here, Derek finishes off by panting and going a bit weird until Karl steps in, holds him and tells him to come forward. Hilarious.

As all this is going on Jason Karl has a constant incredulous look on his face.
Literally the only skeptical person on the whole crew.

After being calmed down, they are back on it. Derek can see a ghost in the distance in one of the boxes in the theatre. The camera zooms in and can see nothing, making this whole scene completely pointless.

Derek gets Yvette to walk to the side where he claims there is a ghost. Yvette walks there and gets all excited as she can feel a draft up her skirt. (a few cobwebs get blown out) Jason walks in the same area and with a stony face declares he can feel nothing, much to Yvette's disappointment. The cameraman joins in and says he can feel a draft.

I was messing about in my garage the other day, and I felt a draft, clearly my garage is haunted too.

One of the big misconceptions about Storm Eleanor is that it is some kind of climate change effect, truth is it is just a million spirits just moving in the same direction.

Derek has found Arnold, and is claiming that Arnold's bones are behind this wall.

Filters have been turned on, groups created and the night time investigation has now begun.

Yvette and her group all claim to have seen a ghost with chains, of course nothing is caught on camera.

Now despite them not filming this, I suspect here that they did indeed see a real person, who upon realising they were disturbing the filming, legged it.

We now get a good 5-10 minutes of various people walking about in the dark, getting scared over nothing. Claiming they have seen things, but as always it is OFF CAMERA.

Rick Fielding has started feeling funny, something he seems to do every episode. 

I wonder if at this point in his career he was thinking of a move into pretending he was psychic?

Then they catch their first orb!
Yvette on voice over states very strongly that an orb is the first stage of spirit manifestation. Remember in the first episode when Yvette said she would let people at home decide what was real or not? Well now she is catagorically stating something as if it is a fact.

The orb was just a piece of out of focus fluff close to the lens, that is it.

We then get a ridiculous segment whereby a seat in the theatre that was up is now down. The inference being that a ghost is sat on it.

Suspiciously Stuart and Karl are both involved in this whole scene, little did we know back then that those two would go on to be the cause of 99% of faked paranormal activity on the show.

Here is Stuart looking guilty.

I hear that deep feelings of guilt can make all your hair fall out!

With the investigation over, we have just two piece of "evidence" to analyse, the orb and the seat coming down. Both easily explained.

Take Derek's over the top acting out of this episode, and nothing happened, it was a really poor episode.

With the early seasons of Most Haunted you start to realise how much Derek saved the episodes from being utter crap. And you can also understand how after Most Haunted moved to REALLY and them not being allowed to use Psychics, that they have to fill the episode with more fakery to give the viewer something to actually talk about.

Derek Acorah saved this episode, without him it is nothing.
So I will give the episode a 5/10 (2/10 without Derek's bits)

If you enjoyed this review and would like me to continue to review the old episodes let me know in the comments. If you don't then I wont.

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By Jon Donnis

REVIEW: Most Haunted - Series 1 Episode 3 (11th June 2002) Avebury Stones and The Red Lion, Wiltshire

We are back for another review of a classic Most Haunted episode. Now I know that there is some confusion regarding episode number, as some DVD releases had them in a different order, and obviously things are always filmed out of order, so I am doing my reviews purely based on air date according to Wikipedia so if it is wrong etc, don't blame me.

If you ever want to catch up on other Most Haunted reviews, just click the Most Haunted tab on the horizontal menu, and everything is there.

Also I heard from the original Most Haunted mole over Christmas and they informed me that both Yvette and Karl have been reading these classic reviews, and enjoying them immensely. 

And with that said, we have a young, pretty and unsullied Yvette Fielding, and she has just opened her handbag, and as we look inside we see some kind of buzzing back massager, well I think that is what it is, anyway it has some kind of substance on it, so as I scrape it off, I can see that it is sticky blurbage, and that sticky blurbage is below!

"The Most Haunted team visits Avebury, Wiltshire. Considered by some to be one of the most paranormal places in Britain. The town sits within a prehistoric stone circle. The team investigate The Red Lion Inn, haunted by four ghosts."

I am watching the "unseen" version of this episode, which is from the DVD release.

We start off with Yvette mysteriously appearing from behind one of the 4000 year old Avebury Stones, she gives us a bit of history and is then quickly stood in front of a pub.

Her hair is a mess as you can see, but she does look quite fetching all in black.

She then tells us about some of the ghosts of the pub, and then starts to introduce us to the crew.

She then sits with Jason Karl who thank god has ditched those god awful leather gimp trousers, and is going with a straight forward jumper, black jeans combo.

Bizarrely Jason has a few ridiculous gimmicks with him, from the obligatory EMF meter (Useless) and some flour and coins which he is gonna spread about later as a way to catch ghostly foot and hand prints. Yes that is as dumb as it sounds.

A ghost can walk through walls, yet will leave footprints.

The landlord of the pub is telling us some stories, remember this is a "haunted pub" this is how it makes it's money, by selling space to idiot ghost hunters.

Here is a shot of the Landlord, known to his friends as "Dickie Bounts".

We also hear from a retired cellar-man who tells some ghost stories. Jason Karl rightly points out that the people who have seen ghosts are often people who have been drinking.

Jason Karl really was a good "para psychologist", he really did point out the more rational explanation even if sometimes his lack of knowledge of basic photographic anomolies would expose him.

Derek Acorah has arrived and we get another lovely scene of everyone sat around a big table having food.

They are talking about the location, asking questions and generally having a lovely time.

I am very much enjoying Derek's red jacket. Very fashionable back in the early 2000's

Dinner is finished and the investigation begins.
Straight away Derek is picking up on the ghosts and calls over the pub manager Dickie Bounts and tells him this ghost lady is following him around.

Derek comes up with the name Florence, which we then get confirmed with an on screen graphic.

Again I remember how people would get so involved with trying to debunk Derek, searching the internet for records to prove how he could have researched it, or his fans showing how hard it would have been to research it. It was all very intense back in the day between the skeptics and the believers. But as I said in previous reviews most of the time Derek didn't really do much work at all. He would pick up a leaflet on the location when he first came in, or his wife Gwen would and then pass to him. He could then read it in the loo. Sometimes he would just know a place because he had been there before. Derek really did just "wing it" on the day. And there was not this huge conspiracy that many people thought.

Each episode he would need to remember maybe 4 or 5 names and that is it, everything else was just educated guesswork, cold reading and so on.

And as Karl got to know Derek more, Karl would often engage Derek in conversation before filming started, and drop a few names, while talking about the location.

Back to Derek and he has now come up with the name Arthur, followed by King Edgar.

Finally Derek comes up with "Little Boy" and then utters the famous line of 
"He is so excited at times, he is like a whirling dervish"

This gets a laugh out of everyone present, this really was Derek at his very best.

Derek talks what a lovely little boy this is, followed by a quick change of how he was murdered as part of a sacrifice. Well that escalated quickly.

Derek then debunks a legend of Merlin. Derek is saying that Merlin is NOT in any way buried behind some stone structure.

Just think about that, Derek is debunking a legend because spirit is telling him so.
Truly Derek is the uber skeptic! 

Derek and Yvette have now entered a bedroom, and Derek starts talking about a virgin ghost. Yvette has the look on her face of "What's this virgin thing you talk of?"

I'm not saying Yvette was promiscuous in her youth, no I am NOT saying that. Nope, not gonna go there.... Unlike the local soccer team in 1985.

Derek is talking about more child sacrifices. Blimey this is all very depressing.

Jason sets up the flour experiment, while the rest of the gang go to investigate the stones during what looks like a mild hurricane.

Derek is hearing a spirit chanting, and a circle of women and men. How he can hear anything in this storm is beyond me. Derek talks about the chanting being an encouragement of the elements.

Yvette has seen a couple of ghosts! But Derek quickly debunks it as two people with hoods on. Again Skeptic Derek is on fire in this episode. Using his psychic powers for good it seems.

It is quite funny watching them struggle in the wind.

Clearly Derek knows a bit about these stones as he is talking about about various stories that are in the public domain.

Just occurred to me that this is the first ever episode of Most Haunted that does NOT feature a dog.

Back in the warm, Yvette has had her hair fixed while Derek is talking about Florence again, but also mentioning a Well. Saying she is in the Well because she was killed, thrown in the Well by 3 men.

Yvette has been "voted" to stay in the very haunted private room all by herself, before she goes in, Derek primes her with some spiritual type advice. Very similar to how if you tell someone NOT to think of a pink elephant, that is exactly what they will think about, just like you are now, as you are reading this. So Derek is telling her how to cope if ghosts touch her or sit on her etc.

We also get the first use of the "Blair Witch" shot, which then becomes a staple of Most Haunted going forward for the next 15 years. And makes the whole idea of using a video camera on a ghost investigation completely pointless.

As expected Yvette is feeling tickling on her head and other sensations.

She is putting all her professional acting lessons to good use here, as she manages to force a tear from her eye. Didn't you know she is a professionally trained actress?

She gets up, panics a bit and leaves.

We are with Jason now and he is alone in a room. He is talking about failing to be scared again, which is blatantly setting up something that is coming up.

"Come on orbs, let's have an orb go past my face" - Jason Karl

Jason is orb hunting, and getting a few out of focus particles appear close to the lens, but bizarrely thinks they are some kind of spirit manifestation. I am sure that looking back he will feel very embarrassed when listening to himself talk about orbs as if he is some kind of photographic expert. 

Back in the day you didn't have Stuart throwing things, or Karl dropping items OFF CAMERA, so you had to rely on orbs as you main source of ghostly activity.

Jason panics and leaves the room.

In a voice over Yvette tells us that after Jason left the room, Karl went in to retrieve a camera and received two scratches to his neck.

Notice how they are in the exact position that a scratch would be if you reached over your own head and scratched yourself. Only episode 3 and Karl is faking stuff like this, I can only think he did it because he knew the episode was really lacking anything physical on the ghost hunting front, a few orbs, and Derek repeating well known stories about a place, does not really make it haunted, but with a nice little scratch, they can now claim physical evidence.

Remember back in 2002 people trusted Karl, he was the producer as opposed to just Yvette's Husband, most people didn't even know he was married to her. This whole show was a launchpad for Yvette, so Karl really would do anything to get attention for the show, even if it meant scratching himself on the neck.

They decide to all go back to the room to investigate the ghost that scratched Karl. 

"Come on your son of a gun, show yourself" - Derek Acorah

Clearly they didn't like to swear in those days.
Derek is taunting the ghost to scratch him, nothing happens.
I get the impression here that Derek blatantly does not believe what Karl has said happened to him, and probably thinks that Karl is trying to steal his thunder.

There is a sound of a coin or something dropping to the floor OFF CAMERA, they look around but cant see anything, as they film around you notice that Dickie Bounts the landlord is there. Hmmm.

We then get one last orb.

And Yvette tells us they cant explain it. The flour experiment from earlier had no results, and with that the investigation is over, we now enter the summary interviews.

Look at that happy crew, compared to 2017 that is a huge difference.

I give this episode a fair 5/10.

We did get the legendary Whirling Dervish line, but that really was the only highlight.

No dog, no ghost monkeys. Just orbs and Karl scratching himself.

If you enjoyed this review and would like me to continue to review the old episodes let me know in the comments. If you don't then I wont.

If you would like to show your appreciation for my work why not donate an Amazon Email Gift Voucher to me to show your appreciation. I do this for free, you will never see a load of ads on this site, so the only way I get anything out of writing, or running this site is if people donate.

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By Jon Donnis

REVIEW: Most Haunted - Series 1 Episode 2 (4th June 2002) Chillingham Castle, Northumberland

Usually I hate reviewing Most Haunted, I dread the thought of having to sit down and waste a couple of hours of my life watching the episode, taking screen grabs, repeating the words (that I invented) "OFF CAMERA" seemingly endless times, and that is why I never bothered to go back and review the Series 20 episodes that aired night after night around Halloween time. But after watching the first ever episode of Most Haunted a few days ago, it peaked my interest once again. And after checking and being impressed by how many people read that review, I find myself with sodall else to do, so why not review episode 2 and keep the momentum going.

Most Haunted truly was so much better with Derek Acorah on the show, and because it was all so long ago, I know that I will be surprised to see the ridiculous things he gets up to. So with that said, I went and started digging in Yvette Fielding's lady garden, and deep beneath the thick bramble bushes, I found some blurb, dry, flaky blurb, but it was still readable, so here is the blurb for episode 2 of Most Haunted.

"Most Haunted travels to Northumberland to reputedly the most haunted castle in England. Will they make contact with the famed Blue Boy? Derek contacts a former resident, a hissing noise frightens the crew and a box moves by itself."

Yvette is all in black again and with leather trousers on, very sexy, although this is the start of her ridiculous hair cuts that seem to change every week. I prefer her hair last week.

Seeing how Yvette was the "hotty" of the early series, it then makes it easier to understand why in later series the likes of Mel Crump would get chased off the show.

Yvette then introduces us to the crew, a mixture of family members and close friends.

NO! NO Jason Karl, it is NOT ever acceptable for a man to weather leather trousers. It is ok for Yvette, in 2002 she had smooth shaven legs, the trousers hug her figure, they improve her look. But for a man, you look ridiculous. You look like you should be in the Blue Oyster Bar. So I am docking you 15 internet points for this HUGE fashion faux par.

Yvette announces that there is one last member of the team to join them.

"A man who can talk to the dead"

Wow that sounds impressive, we then get introduced to Derek Acorah, and again reminded that he does not know where he is investigating that evening. 

Yvette goes on a tour with some old posh geezer who is something to do with the Castle, sorry I didn't catch his title as I was fascinated by a dog that appears on the screen.

So in just two episodes we have now seen two dogs, this dog is called Billy. 

Chillingham Castle really is a beautiful location, and they also have some appartments that they rent out, and of course they are "haunted rooms", so we need to be aware that as is nearly always the case with these locations, they rely on tourism, so they NEED the place to be recognised as "Haunted"

Derek Acorah arrives and gives Yvette a HUGE hug! You wouldn't get that today.

As Derek is looking around, Rick Fielding suddenly starts feeling faint. Now if you recall he had a funny turn in episode 1 as well, so we are already seeing a pattern develop here. So Rick is clearly putting this on as part of the show, now whether he is directed to do this by Karl or he is just doing this off his own back I don't know. But it does go to show that they were faking incidents right from the start.

Derek comforts Rick and all is fine after Derek asks the ghost to step away as she is affecting Rick. 

Jason Karl has his usual incredulous look. Where as in 2017 Glen constantly looks smug, Jason Karl is unable to hide his real thoughts. Good for you Jason, even with your stupid leather trousers on.

Derek comes up with the name "Mary", Yvette asks Jason if he can confirm the name. Which he does. It is funny how serious they take this, as if Derek really is talking to some dead spirit.

Derek really is quite a good actor, well if the character he is playing is that of a crazy psychic who is convinced they can talk to the dead. 

Ironically, in the business if you break character it is known as "corpsing", that being when you laugh when you are not supposed to etc, yet Derek never breaks character. Well not when he knows he is being filmed anyway, I remind you of the "Mary loves Dick" scene from a Most Haunted Live to see one of the very few examples of Derek "corpsing" when he assumes the camera feed has cut.

Remember last episode when we had everyone sat around the fire chatting, sharing ghost stories and then Derek got possessed by a monkey? Well this episode everyone is sat around a nice big table eating, and laughing.

People laughing, enjoying the experience, Derek sat next to his wife Gwen (a real life close personal friend of mine by the way). Now everyone hates each other.

As expected Yvette sees something walk past the window outside, and then Jason goes to investigate after they put the green filter on.

They find nothing, so the show then moves on.

We are told again that no one has told Derek about anything to do with Chillingham Castle. Suddenly there is a hissing noise that could be anyone, Yvette panics and everyone runs out of the hallway.

The make up lady Marcella is absolutely petrified and doesn't want to continue.

You would think that being one half of the Wild Samoans the WWE Hall of Fame Tag Team, that she wouldn't be so scared of a few ghosts.

Things have calmed down and Derek is talking to Lady Mary Berkley.
Some great acting by Derek here. Not great "possessed monkey" great, but still decent.

Look at the evil in Derek's eyes! Maybe the monkey has returned?

Derek has started to get confused and disorientated, guessing he had a few whiskeys before he started and they have started to kick in.

He also claims to be seeing "pink", he then says he is drawn to the pink!! Aren't we all Derek, Aren't we all.....

Derek then gets possessed, and it is hilarious, I had forgot how he would just be mid sentence and then get possessed. After about 15 seconds, Sam helps him regain his composure. (But not his dignity, the ghost monkey still has that)

Derek is telling stories, and Jason Karl is either confirming or denying them. Nothing of actual importance here sadly, as the episode hits a dull spot.

With Derek not playing, we cut to Karl who has gone off to "investigate" on his own.

There is then a noise OFF CAMERA, which kinda sounds like Karl dropping something. We then see a basket that is right next to where Karl's left hand would be move a couple of inches, Karl panics and runs out of the room. Again people claim the show was honest in the first season, but knowing what you know now, especially about Karl and how he has been caught cheating so many times, it becomes very obvious he is behind this. He knows exactly what is being filmed, he is the only person present, so makes sense he just nudges something and then reacts.

Back to Derek and he is talking about some ghost he been chatting to, Derek informs us that he has a 4 poster bed at home (lucky Gwen), and that the ghost is showing him a 4 poster bed.

Here is a photo of Derek Acorah in bed with Karthik, the monobrow star of The Apprentice. 

Yvette is feeling a strong cold draft. Jason Karl has a laser thermometer thingy, and he states that the temperature is normal and has not changed. Yvette tells him to stand where she is, he does and he feels nothing.

Look at the state of Karl here.

Yvette in voice over talks about how some of their still photos when analysed showed a lot of orbs, she then said that "Independent Vision Engineers" had confirmed that this was NOT caused by dust or reflected light. Yes she has really claimed that.

I am curious as to who these "Independent Vision Engineers" actually were? Since clearly the orbs are in fact a mixture of dust, air particles and moisture that are too close to the camera and out of the focal range of the lens. Guess that makes me an "Expert Independent Vision Engineer".

With bold claims like this by Yvette, which are downright lies, you can understand why we ended up with an entire generation of idiotic ghost hunters claiming orbs were paranormal. If you have ever published a photo of an orb and claimed it was something paranormal, then hold your head in shame, now and forever.

Yvette takes Derek to the dungeon. Something that in 2017 I know that Glen dreams of, being taken to Yvette's dungeon, tied up, and whipped while wearing his favourite gimp suit and a ball gag in his mouth. One day the photos will leak I am sure.

Nothing happens in the dungeon and we move onto the end of episode summary clips. 

Again Jason Karl pours scorn on everything that happened, and Derek claims everything was paranormal, so a nice difference between beliefs and personalities there.

A final shot of the crew sat on some steps, and we are done.

I give this episode a decent 6/10.

Not as good as episode 1, but then hard to beat a ghost monkey possessing Derek Acorah.

If you enjoyed this review and would like me to continue to review the old episodes let me know in the comments. If you don't then I wont.

If you would like to show your appreciation for my work why not donate an Amazon Email Gift Voucher to me to show your appreciation. I do this for free, you will never see a load of ads on this site, so the only way I get anything out of writing, or running this site is if people donate.

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By Jon Donnis