A note of caution about Self Proclaimed Psychic Medium Marcus Day

The following article was written by a member of the BadPsychics team. They have asked for their name not to be published as "the author", due to the personal connection they have to the client talked about. - Jon Donnis

A note of caution about Marcus Day

I’ll start off with a confession: I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to write this article. As at the time of writing, this psychic isn’t particularly well-known in the UK. As far as I can ascertain, he has spent most of his life working as a DJ at weddings – and his psychic mediumship performances are a more recent venture.

A few months ago, he was apparently spotted by the producers of ‘The 6ixth Sense’ – (a TV programme which featured the late Colin Fry) – and he filmed episodes for a forthcoming TV series. It remains to be seen whether the series will actually be broadcast, although he certainly seems to be promoting it heavily on his Facebook page.

I have watched a few of his videos, and not been impressed. The fact that the show was produced by the same people who made ‘The 6ixth Sense’ was already enough to sound alarm bells for me. In theory, it would be pretty easy to research anyone who attends one of these tapings - especially as audience members usually have to provide personal information like names and addresses when they get the tickets.   

However, my attention was drawn to one particular clip because it featured a reading with someone I know. And quite frankly, it really made me sad to see how she seemed to believe that Marcus Day was genuinely communicating with a dead family member.

Having watched the video and carefully transcribed it, I could only conclude that Marcus Day was simply using a technique called ‘cold reading’. In short, this involves throwing out lots of general statements, asking questions, and then adjusting his spiel depending on the reactions he got.

In fact, despite the clip being VERY heavily edited, he got a lot of things completely wrong. Other things he said could have applied to anyone or simply did not make sense.     

You are, of course, free to make your own minds up about him. But I ask you to read my analysis, which will hopefully raise awareness of how cold reading works. If his TV show ever sees the light of day, this should also encourage people to be skeptical as they watch it – and exercise extreme caution (or avoid) booking a reading with him.

You can watch the reading below first. 

"Remember this is a highly edited promotional video, and should not be taken as a fair representation of Marcus Day. He is much much worse in real life." - Jon Donnis

(VIDEO REMOVED - One of the people who were read in the video asked me to remove the video as they did not want to be identified. The transcript below remains complete.)

The transcript follows below.     

Key

Marcus Day – normal text

Sitter – blue

My analysis – red

Parts of the reading that I wish to draw attention to are indicated in bold

-------------

Marcus: So, I have a lady here that makes me feel as though she is taken to hospital where she collapses and there’s a feeling there of being taken away in the ambulance, being taken away before she passes to the spirits. The first memory she gives me here. I know very much that someone will recognize her diary or where she kept a diary or kept notes. That’s just something that this lady had in her lifetime and this is what I feel here. I also know as well that she makes reference to growing things in the garden like onions and this kind of thing, and someone will remember that ‘cos I can smell them, I can see them, I can feel them, and she brings these onions to me which is a funny little memory, but I know that would be something that would be correct.

This is typical of the ‘shotgun’ approach used in cold reading. Note how he does not mention any names He’s just throwing out VERY general things that could apply to many people.

1. According to this study, almost 55% of deaths in the UK are in hospital.

2. Most people would have had diaries or made notes in the days before PDAs or Smartphone apps.

3. Similar story with growing vegetables – especially for anyone who lived through World War 2. Remember that the UK was subjected to 14 years of rationing and the British public was encouraged to ‘grow their own’. If they hadn’t, then they might have starved. 

But I must say that I’m intrigued by the idea of a spirit waving onions in his face. So onions also exist in the afterlife? The next time I chop one up, I will bear in mind that it will live on in Heaven.  

Marcus: Now, I know that the lady I have here had taken a bit too much medication. I’m not saying it was something she had meant to do, but she’d taken too much of her medication. Does that help anybody place this lady?

So far, the looks on the faces of the audience have been pretty blank. So he’s now asking a question about overdosing on medication to see if anyone can help him. Why doesn’t he just say the name of the spirit instead?

Marcus: Lady here. What do you think you don’t understand?

Sitter: The last bit you said.

Marcus: About having too much medication?

Sitter: Yes. And um..

Marcus: Could you understand that she was taking quite a bit of medication and she felt it was too much?

Sitter: Yes.

I think that part of the reading was cut here. Marcus is now suddenly asking an audience member what she doesn’t understand. So it looks as though there was some kind of interaction beforehand. Notice how he switches tactics after getting negative feedback. We’ve gone from the spirit taking too much medication to her THINKING she took too much.

[Scene cuts to a post-reading interview with the sitter]

Sitter: It was my mother-in-law who came through. With lots of evidence that left me in no doubt that it was her, really.

Sorry, but even at this early stage of the reading, I’m not convinced. Not only did Marcus get the ‘medication overdose’ claim wrong (which he then tried to correct) but his description of the spirit’s death does not really tie in with what happened to the sitter’s mother-in-law. He implied it was a sudden death with the woman being rushed to hospital in an ambulance before passing to the spirit world. But here is an extract from an e-mail that I received when the sitter’s mother-in-law died in 2005.

As you can see, it was not an unexpected death. She had been in hospital for a week before taking a turn for the worse. And as I stated above, 55% of deaths occur in hospital, anyway.

   

[Scene returns to the reading with Marcus]

Marcus: Do you understand who pressed flowers between a book…

Sitter: Yes

Marcus:…or pressed flowers because she has a memory or sees this from the spirit side of life?

This is a question, not a statement – used to elicit information from the sitter. Again no name is provided. He’s just mentioned a hobby that was very popular from the Victorian era onwards and asked if she knew someone who did it.   

Marcus: And there’s a lovely bracelet that I see that’s either being bought or somebody wants and I know it feels like it’s a young girl and it’s got jewels in it. I say ‘jewels’, ‘gems’. But I know it’s not hugely valuable, but it’s more like it’s a dress thing and it’s a sentimental thing. And you’re looking at me like you’ve got no idea whatsoever.

Okay, keep in mind EXACTLY what he says here about the bracelet

Sitter: No, I think I know exactly what you’re talking about

Marcus: That’s good, that’s good. So your face didn’t give it away. She had a poker face on there.

So Marcus admits that he’s looking at her body language to see whether he’s on the right track or not

[Scene cuts back to the post-reading interview with the sitter]

Sitter: I think it was amazing. I’ve just been with my daughter in Brighton this last couple of days and I bought her a bracelet for her birthday in October which has magnets in to help with her back. So, yeah, it wasn’t expensive. It’s not worth much, but it’s…you know, it’s part of the healing as well, I guess.

Her daughter in Brighton is a married woman in her mid-30s – not a “young girl” like Marcus described. Notice how he also said the bracelet had jewels or gems. Magnets are NOT gems. It also seems like the bracelet was bought as a healing aid, not the “dress thing” he referred to.

Furthermore, it is not unusual for women to own bracelets or be given them as presents. I have several – most of which are not valuable. In fact, I avoid wearing expensive jewellery because of the risk of it being lost or stolen.     

[Scene returns to the reading with Marcus]

Marcus: And will you understand that if it’s not you, it’s someone close to you? Because she’s talking about the bottom of the spine and going into the hips as being painful and difficult and an absolute nuisance where painkillers have needed to be taken for that as well.

Sitter: Absolutely.

Did nobody take anatomy classes? The bottom of the spine is NOT connected to the hips. He’s also mentioning something that is very common. Who DOESN’T get aches and pains in their back or hips as they get older? And notice how he throws open the field by saying, “if it’s not you, it’s someone close to you”.

Marcus: Okay, you understand that? She also feels that someone has to have blood tests. You understand this? And this is her way of showing I’m around and we’re looking at iron levels

Sitter: Oh yes

“Someone” has to have blood tests? Why be so vague as to who this person might be?

I think we all know “someone” who has had blood tests. They are a routine part of a doctor’s visit if you are feeling unwell. And a full blood count will always measure your haemoglobin levels, which will indicate whether you could be iron-deficient.

Marcus: You understand what she’s saying? And she’s talking about someone’s liver function’s being looked at as well, she said.

Same technique as above. Why can’t you mention any names, Marcus?

[Scene cuts back to the post-reading interview with the sitter]

Sitter: I was meant to have surgery for my hip, which I can’t because my blood sugars aren’t right because I’m diabet – diabetic. My daughter has just been diagnosed as being very, very severely iron-deficient. So, she’s got anaemia. Blood disorder. When I have my diabetic blood checks, they also look at liver function as well, so yeah…

All these conditions are very common. Statistically, 160,000 hip and knee replacements are carried out every year in England and Wales.

I myself have had anaemia several times, and I can think of numerous diabetics I’ve known  – including my great grandmother, my great uncle, my best friend’s mother, former colleagues, and people I went to school with.  

Sitter: This is the second time my mother-in-law has come through. We didn’t particularly like each other an awful lot. Our relationship was always a bit….erm…fraught, I think is probably the politest way to describe it. Although in her later life, I think she…I think we perhaps warmed to each other as we both got older. And I think she certainly appreciated the help that I offered once she was living on her own and disabled.

But she was a very private person as Marcus described her when he first started talking. Before she was disabled, she loved gardening and he talked about having a garden before and growing vegetables which she always did.

When did Marcus describe her as a “very private person”? There was no mention of that in this video, unless it was something that was edited out. But being “very private” is not exactly an earth-shattering revelation. Neither is growing vegetables. As I mentioned above, practically everyone who lived through the war years did so.

What happened to the onions, though? What was so significant about them that the spirit had to wave them in Marcus’s face?

[Scene returns to the reading with Marcus]

Marcus: She feels that there was a worry of cancer in the family.

Sitter: Yes, just this last week actually.

Marcus: Oh, okay. Because she’s saying I see these thoughts from the spirit world, stop worrying, look after yourself and just really, really embrace life.

One in three people will develop a form of cancer in their lifetime. So it’s not surprising that someone in a family would be concerned about it. I realise that this is meant to be positive advice. But should he really be saying “stop worrying” where a potentially serious illness like cancer is concerned?

Marcus: I know I have a lady here that makes me feel like she’s mum to you, that makes me feel like she’s mum. And I know as I’m here with her, it’s the funniest little thing, do you ever remember…did you say your mum is in the spirit world?

Hang on a minute! Is Marcus saying that it is the sitter’s mother who has come through? So NOT the mother-in-law? And WHY does he need to ask whether the sitter’s mother is in the spirit world – if he is supposedly communicating with her?

Sitter: Yes

Marcus: Do you ever remember your mum drinking hot chocolate or Ovaltine in the evening before bed?

Sitter: Yes

I would be shocked if she hadn’t. Hot chocolate and Ovaltine are traditionally drinks that people have before going to sleep. In fact, Ovaltine has often had an image problem in that it’s regarded as a drink that is only enjoyed by old people at bedtime.

Marcus: Because she’s just said to me while we’ve got time I want you to take this Ovaltine, take this hot chocolate and just have a drink on me. Some spirit people bring a glass of beer or whatever. Ooh! Your mum’s handed you a massive box of chocolates

How bizarre! It turns out that not only do onions have an afterlife in the spirit world, chocolates do too. I wonder how that works. Are there cows in the spirit world which are milked to produce it?

Sitter: Ooh!

Marcus: Your mum’s handed you a massive box of chocolates and I know that’s what she just did for me. I’m really sorry. Do you understand whether there’s been diabetes in the family as well?

Sitter: That’s why I pulled a face at the chocolates. I’m diabetic.

I’m afraid that by ‘pulling that face’, you gave away the fact that there’s an issue with someone giving you chocolates. Marcus hit on the most common condition for people who can’t eat sugary foods and – yet again – he expanded the field to ask if it was in the family.

Marcus: That’s why she said have the chocolates, but can’t all have them and that was to do with that. And she’s giving me the ones with the hazelnuts in as being her favourite.

Sitter: Oh, my goodness! I was just….I did some allergy testing last week and hazelnuts was something I reacted to.  

This is information which the sitter voluntarily gives to Marcus. Not something that he tells her.

Marcus: That’s what she’s just plucked out. There you go and she’s teasing you with it, she’s saying “that’s my favourite.”

[Scene cuts back to the post-reading interview with the sitter]

Sitter: Oh, that’s amazing. I was away last week and I had some allergy testing done. And some really random things came up that you wouldn’t think and one of them was chocolate, interestingly, and the other one was hazelnuts….

Okay, so here’s my mother-in-law offering me chocolates and showing me the hazelnut one. It’s just amazing, isn’t it?

Well, I find it amazing that he could suggest that a mother would give her daughter chocolates with hazelnuts, knowing that she is diabetic and allergic to both those things. And even if we think it was the mother-in-law instead, would she really do that to you? Even if you didn’t always get on with each other. 

Sitter: I find it very reassuring to know that there’s something other than this earthly life. I’ve pretty much always believed that, but it’s just nice to have that evidence and that confirmation with very specific things that, you know, only relate to you.

There was absolutely nothing that I could find in this reading that was “specific” or would relate only to the sitter. In fact, I regret to say that it was exactly the opposite.

This article is not intended in any way to criticize or belittle the sitter, who is a lovely lady. But I became very concerned that she was being taken advantage of, and that vulnerable, grieving people could be misled into thinking that Marcus Day can really contact deceased loved ones.

As I say, you are all free to form your own opinions on him. But I hope my analysis encourages people to be skeptical of his show if it ever sees the light of day. Or exercise extreme caution before booking a reading with him. Or better yet, avoid booking one with him at all.

Review: Ghost Adventures - Season 14, Episode 1 March 25, 2017 Stone Lion Inn

If you haven't seen this episode yet, you can through Amazon, click the link below.
Stone Lion Inn

With Ghost Adventures having thoroughly replaced Most Haunted as the worlds number 1 "Paranormal Investigation" type TV series, I thought I would give it another chance, and since I got sent an episode from the little known "Ghost Adventures Mole" who is definitely 100% NOT Zak Bagans (No relation to Bilbo I am told), I thought I would check it out. Now I should also let it be known I am not and have never been a fan of the show, I do not follow it, I do not know the characters and crew. And I only know the name Zak Bagans because h̶i̶s̶ ̶n̶a̶m̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶w̶r̶i̶t̶t̶e̶n̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶r̶e̶t̶u̶r̶n̶ ̶i̶f̶ ̶u̶n̶d̶e̶l̶i̶v̶e̶r̶e̶d̶ ̶s̶t̶i̶c̶k̶e̶r̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶b̶a̶c̶k̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶j̶i̶f̶f̶y̶ I googled the show to see who was the main person.

The only other thing I recall about this show is Robert Bess, inventor of the Parabot Containment Chamber, got caught blatantly cheating on a Halloween special in 2009. You can google that if you like.

There may be some comparisons made by me during this review, with Most Haunted. I wonder if Zak and his Scooby Gang have an equivalent of Watson or GORT?

So with that said lets check out the official blurb.

Season 14, Episode 1 Stone Lion Inn
The crew investigate the Stone Lion Inn in Guthrie, Okla., where it is said the owner performs satanic rituals in the local cemetery. Later, Zak attempts to uncover the truth about what happened to the famous outlaw Elmer McCurdy after his death.

Firstly much like Most Haunted, this show is 100% a spoof. It is written, acted and performed. It is NOT in any way a legitimate investigation. But we will treat it as if it is real, as I know a lot of fans of the show really do think it is real despite the fact that ghosts do not exist which in turns makes this entire show pointless.

We are told that this location runs murder mystery tours, so instantly you have to be suspicious of the motives of the owners of this place for inviting the GA team to investigate. They rely on tourism, so what better way to boost that than to pretend the place is haunted.

We start off by being introduced to this lovely lady.

Becky Luker is her name! Also the Travel Channel ad for "Booze Traveler" is nothing to do with her, and in no way am I insinuating that the only spirits she has ever seen are Jack Daniels and Jim Bean.

A quick google of her name and she has done hundreds of interviews claiming she believes in ghosts, her Inn is haunted and so on.

The GA crew ask her if they are a part of her Murder Mysteries tour, and she says NO! And that nothing has been set up. She admits that she has been accused of performing Satanic rituals, but not that she has actually done them. My first thoughts are that this is a huge PR stunt by Becky, she has all the facials down, she looks and acts in a spooky manner and so on.

Worth noting the really high production value of this show. Much much higher than Most Haunted.

We learn about Elmer McCurdy and how she has based her mysteries on him. He sounds like a fascinating character. And I would advise anyone to go read about him.

It is revealed that Becky Luker off camera said that after her death she has arranged to be buried next to the body of Elmer McCurdy in an adjacent plot. What a lovely thing to make public.

Zak now tells us that Becky's "activities" in the cemetery may have inadvertently raised the spirit of Elmer.

We next hear from Michelle Smith

She talks about the scary things she has seen and heard, yet she still happily sleeps in this incredibly spooky room, and has not left her job. Hmmm.

Also bizarrely someone who I assume is Zak is dressed like this while talking to her.

I have no idea why he is dressed like this, it doesn't look cold, as Michelle is dressed in just a thin shirt, so not sure why he has the woolly hat on. I have no idea why he has a face mask on, unless he is really a Japanese woman on the Tokyo subway.

We hear a few more stories, and Zak does his best spooky voice in the narration and talks about "Scrying" a thoroughly debunked practice.

We then have a bizarre conversation between Zak and Becky whereby Becky reveals how many people she has killed over the years. And then follows it up with "as part of the murder mystery" Zak does play along, and acts scared, which is quite funny. Zak is like-able if a strange character.

Zak convinces Michelle to stay in a room on her own and conduct an EVP session on her own.

One quite annoying thing about this show is the constant sound effects and musical score going on. It makes viewer participation completely pointless. Sometimes shows can over produce, and take the viewer out of the moment, Ghost Adventures is very guilty of this.

We then cut away to a short interview with Grant Aguirre who is Becky's oldest son. They talk about Michelle, I wonder if she is gonna get blamed for the whole scam?

We are now back with Zak and Michelle and they are examining the EVP recordings. They have got something. They play the recording, and there is some cursing, she denies that she said said it. Zak accuses her and she looks incredibly guilty.

Luckily they have video of her in the room, they play it and amazingly it is not her saying the curse words! Cue dramatic music.......

Zak exclaims he is 99.9% sure that it is a spirit voice.

But hang on a second, the swearing is NOT picked up by the audio on the video footage, only by the digital recorder. The video footage seemingly shows that Michelle does not say the swear words, but it also shows that the swear words were not audible to the video camera.

So there are two possibilities here.
1. Michelle swore under her breath without moving her mouth, which is exactly what you would do if you were faking an EVP and knew you were being filmed. This would also make sense in that the camera filming her would not pick it up since she is speaking directly above the digital recorder.

2. The other possibility is that the swear words were added after the event through the digital software they were using on the laptop to analyse it.

So the conclusion we can gather from all of this is something I have been saying for years and years and years. EVPs are evidentially worthless, since they can be so easily faked.

Now if the video footage had picked up the swearing too, then it would be more interesting since physically we have something to look at that would in part back up her claim of not saying it, as well as the evidence of the swearing itself. And yes even then that could easily be faked too, but what I am saying is that it would overall be a more impressive thing to release as "evidence"

But instead we are left with Zak saying he has caught a spirit voice, when the truth is, he has caught nothing that has any real value at all.

Not to mention the fact when she was first asked if it was her, she looked so guilty like she had been caught out, and when they said they had video footage of her, she looked very panicked and not at all confident she was telling the truth.

It is worth saying that at least this show is giving me something to examine, to think about. It is not just idiots throwing stones about, and ridiculous screaming and so on. I am sure that happens on Ghost Adventures, but in this particular episode I am more impressed by the entertainment factor, and the effort made to make everything look good. Yes scientifically GA is completely inept, and they have no idea what real evidence should be.

They decide to go out side and do some experiments by the grave of Elmer.

It is a bit windy, they have some various pieces of equipment which they claim will help Elmer travel to the Stone Inn. They talk to Elmer, and using fancy equipment are getting no response at first. Some thing called a Puck ITC is used and they start getting answers back to their questions. This all stinks and the equipment they are using looks like the usual crap you buy from ghost hunting websites. Completely pointless exercise which is only fooling the kind of idiot fans who think these shows are real.

They turn on a "Spirit Box"

It is basically just a radio scanner and a speaker. What that has to do with spirits I have no idea. As usual people have taken technology that already exists, stuck the word "spirit" in the title, and then sell it to the kind of idiots you can only find on ghost hunting forums. Cathy I am looking at you here.

Nothing they provide in this portion of the show impresses me. It is 100% theatre, pre planned, pre written skits. Very poor.

Nothing they give I would class as real evidence. Just entertainment for the cameras and viewers at home. It would be a rather boring episode if they just sat outside in a tent and nothing happened.

But for Zak to say they have "irrefutable proof that we have made contact with Elmer McCurdy" is a joke. I refute everything they say and show, as it is NOT scientific, they are using ridiculous unproven equipment.

Even Most Haunted never use language like that, instead they will say that its the best evidence they have ever seen, but they never say they have irrefutable proof.

Back in the house and they have footage of a door opening a bit by itself. Looks to me like it has been gimmicked, possibly with some wire or string.

Zak is now in bed with his woolly hat on! Asking the ghosties to touch his toes.
The whole thing is getting a bit silly now, and not in a good way.

And the music effects in the background are so distracting too.

We get some more noises, a camera "falls" over, and they capture an orb! Yes ladies and gentlemen, the orbs are back in 2017!

I must say the first 20 minutes of the show were quite good, I was entertained, but then they started getting silly, setting up stunts, using ridiculous equipment and they have very quickly lost my attention.

The spirit box malfunctions so this of course is proof of spirits. Yes that is how they think.

Into the last 5 minutes of the show, and the whole thing is coming across as very set up and fake. I expect we will now have a big finale.

The whole group is back at the "nerve centre" they start to review footage etc, as they are doing this the door to their room opens a bit by itself. They then ask the door to close and it slams shut "all by itself" in one of the more laughably fake moment of the episode. (Big finale moment) As they examine the door, the spirit box turns itself on, and starts making noises. I think the whole thing is getting a bit ridiculous now.

They finish off by photographing the whole area with a full spectrum camera, yet get no evidence whatsoever (this bit takes no longer than 5 seconds).

So they had all these things happen, everything that is easily faked, they claim the place is very very haunted, poltergeist activity a plenty, yet they don't capture a single piece of real evidence, not one thing that could be examined scientifically. Nothing at all.

And as the credits role, they even have a door slam shut by itself as part of special effects! Yes they actually did that as part of the end credits! Not part of the investigation, not evidence, but part of the effects that they finish the show on.

I would be amazed if anyone watched this and thought it was real. The vast majority of people must realise it is all faked right?

The show was mostly entertaining though, I will admit that, the characters were likeable. Michelle was easily my favourite cause she was clearly on the scam. Becky was way over the top to be taken seriously.

I give the show a solid 6/10

Please leave your comments below.
Please let me know if you enjoyed this review, if you would like me to do more, of if I shouldn't waste my time on it.

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By Jon Donnis

Review: Most Haunted Series 5 (or 19) Episode 2 (Wentworth Woodhouse Stable Block) - REALLY to air Friday 21st April, 10pm

Warning, this article contains major spoilers! Do not read on, although you really want to know if Watson has been fired yet don't you!?

So late last night a courier named Suki dropped off a jiffy bag marked "For Jon's Eyes Only - The Most Haunted Mole", inside was a VHS tape! Now for people under 35, a VHS tape, is an old kind of recording device, but it had moving parts, and actually existed in the real world!

Here is a photo of what I received, and again let me state this as strongly as I can, Karl Beattie is NOT the Most Haunted Mole.

Looks like the mole recorded the episode over an old "For Dummies" VHS tape, no idea who would need to pretend to be a Samurai, how very bizarre!

Anyway lets get the Blurb over with quickly.

Friday 21st April, 10pm
Wentworth Woodhouse Stable Block
Yvette and Karl are the first team to ever be allowed into the very haunted Wentworth Woodhouse Stable Block. Do they catch a ghost on camera? No of course not, don't be silly. Watson sees something, and does dog stuff, and the team see someone who couldn’t possibly have been there, but clearly he was so they will try and claim it was a ghost.

Before I even press play on my old dusty VCR, I want to answer the question from the blurb, "Do they catch a ghost on camera?" The answer is no.

Also let me say thank you to all the lovely feedback I received from my review of Episode 1. I do appreciate it, and it encouraged me not to slit my wrists and make the effort to write this review of episode 2.

Ok onto the show, fingers crossed for more of the dog and less of the screaming rabid creature.

Now if I recall rightly Most Haunted have already investigated Wentworth Woodhouse a couple of seasons ago. They never found anything then, but clearly Wentworth Woodhouse needs some more publicity to get numbers up, so rang up the Scooby Gang in the hope they would give them some new tourists.

This time they will investigate a stable block, I can feel your excitement from here.

Lets start with some good news as Watson is back!

Since these episodes have not aired on TV yet, Yvette hasn't realised that Watson is already way more popular than her, so she has no reason to fire him yet.

Glen is also back, and he is still smirking, but more importantly is rocking the "thumbs in the pockets" look. Psychologists say that this is a sign of extreme confidence, as his fingers are pointing towards his groin! So what I am saying is that Glen has a huge donkey penis, which would explain his constant smirk. That or he has cold thumbs.

They now enter a derelict squash court, whats the betting we get a bouncing squash ball later thrown by K̶a̶r̶l̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶S̶t̶u̶a̶r̶t̶  a ghost.

Next Karl introduces us to Gort! No that is not his nickname for Yvettes Lady Garden, although you could be forgiven for thinking that. No it stands for Ghost observing robotic tracker! Which is basically a GoPro camera stuck on a remote control car.

Karl claims it is fully automated, so basically whatever it does they will put down to the ghosties! It doesn't half make a lot of noise driving about. I'm guessing it lasts one episode, then they realise it is crap and gets chucked in the bin with Stuart's wig.

Stuart and Karl separate from the rest of the team. Have you ever noticed how perfectly round Stuart's head is?

Yvette is off with the rest of the gang, and Watson, who as usual looks like he cant be arsed.

Noticed how Fred is covering his groin area, almost like he is trying to hide something. I wonder what psychologists would say that is a sign of.

Stuart and Karl are hearing things, the amount of loose stuff about, every step is making noise, and easy to kick things to make noises.

Did the MH gang ever try putting heart beat monitors on, and put an on screen graphic showing them? I am sure that is a gimmick they should try, if only to keep the idiots at home who think it is all real happy.

Watson is still doing nothing, but Yvette is desperately trying to claim him doing nothing is proof of a ghost stroking him.

You can make of this photo what you will, but I will say that is Yvette, and that is NOT Karl.

Apparently a chair moves on its own, but of course it is not caught on camera!

Karl and Stuart are fascinated by a locked door and noises they claim are coming from it. But of course nothing happens on camera. GORT?

Yvette catches Watson looking at something. Most likely a mouse, or a insect.

He does not bark, does not chase after anything, just having a look. He even yawns. He is a dog doing dog stuff. But if you believe Yvette you would think he is having a full on late brunch with the ghosties!

We then get a good 5 minutes of the camera filming Watson standing still. No barking, no reaction, just Watson chilling out doing nothing. And this is clear proof of ghosts apparently.

Stuart sees someone in the distance and chases after them, we don't see anyone of course until the replay.

After 25 minutes of the episode we are told that Watson is "tired" and they have put him to bed! No joke! The single most interesting member of the team and they bench him cause he cant be arsed to play games.

Stuart admits that he saw a physical person and not a ghost, although they cant find them. Stuart seems genuine pissed off that he saw someone. I wonder if they knew that the owners of Wentworth Woodhouse had got someone to cause trouble, so that MH would report on it.

Now Yvette is claiming to have seen a shadow and thinks there is someone there causing trouble. Hmmm. Usually when things happen they instantly say it must be a ghost. I wonder if because none of them are faking it they realise it must be someone not connected to the crew. If that doesn't give the game away to viewers then nothing will. Perhaps this is also reason why Watson was put to bed, as they didn't want him to bite some student employed by Wentworth Woodhouse to fake activity.

After some discussion they have now decided that they have both (Yvette and Karl/Stuart) seen a solid manefestation of a ghost.
We get to see a replay from K/S and it is clearly a bloke. Most likely Glen since he is the only one who is supposedly off on his own.

As they talk about it more, they are really trying to claim it is a ghost.

They are now going to try and talk to this ghost.
"Make a noise with your voice" Yvette asks.
Which is still the dumbest thing she has ever said.

Yvette farts and Fred claims he can smell Sulphur! This scene is screaming for someone to add some classic fart sound effects. It is well recorded that Yvette has had stomach issues and has farts that stench like the breath of Satan himself.

We then hear a really strange wooshing noise.
Yvette says it sounds like a window being pulled down.
They then investigate, but things are being thrown. Again nothing on camera. I am guessing here it is Karl or Stuart giving us something to end the episode with.

A really annoying part of this new series is that they have to show endless replays of the same event over and over, despite the vast majority of things not being caught on camera.

I am not really sure of the purpose of having Glen on the show, I understand he is billed as the skeptic, but he doesn't give any skeptical opinions, or do anything.

All this throwing of things, noises and so on, its almost like they knew it would happen, so put Watson to bed so he wouldn't give the game away again. Afterall if you are going to throw bits of wood, stones etc around, the last thing you want is a dog about that will chase after them and return them to who threw them.

And with that being the end of the episode, we are shown the video of who I believe was Glen just walking in the background. And we are told it is the most groundbreaking footage they have ever caught.

And for anyone keeping track, we never heard anything more about GORT. Not a mention, nothing at all!

The episode is entertaining, and for that I will give it a good 4/10, would have got a higher score if Watson hadn't been thrown in the van and kept off the investigation.

Please leave your comments below.

Tweet me on @JonDonnis and send your abuse to @TheBadPsych

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And whatever you do, don't let the hematophagous arthropods bite. Because if you do you might catch leprosy, Q-fever, oriental sores and/or brucellosis

By Jon Donnis

Review: Most Haunted Series 5 (or 19) Episode 1 (Abbey House Museum) - REALLY to air Friday 14th April, 10pm

Warning, this article contains major spoilers! Do not read on, although lets be honest, you can kinda guess what happens. Yvette screams, Karl and Stuart throw some things, and there are some noises.

Yes it is back! Most Haunted makes it's unwelcome return to UKTV channel REALLY! And guess who has just received a promo DVD of the first episode from the legendary and secretive Most Haunted Mole! (It is definitely 100% not Stuart Torevell)

So pop the DVD in the DVD player and lets get started!
Ok first off the blurb, no that is not the name Karl Beattie calls his own ejaculate, but an industry term used by PR companies to describe the content of an episode of a TV show.

Friday 14th April, 10pm
Abbey House Museum

Yvette Fielding and her dedicated team of hair dressers, mates from the pub and other random relatives return for an all-new and exclusive 5th series, or 19th series depending on if you count the vastly superior Living TV series, of the country's most popular, after (Ghost Adventures) ghost hunting and fannying about show.

This time around Yvette, Karl and Scooby Gang welcome Watson, a new four-legged member to the team, "We decided to allow this man born with extra limbs onto the show as we wanted to show the world we do not discriminate against the disabled, and the "incident" in the gym was a one off, whereby we abused and humiliated a young man, just kidding, it's a dog! Watson is a dog! We would NEVER allow one of those 'cripples' on the show..." and once again they take to the highways and byways of Britain going on another quest to visit and investigate the country's most haunted locations, and by haunted we mean tourist attractions whereby the owners are desperate for publicity so allow us to trample all around old buildings in the hope that gullible idiots will book their own ghost hunts here and give us their money, and record and analyse any paranormal activity they find.

With a long and celebrated history of providing shocks and shivers, series five or series 19 of Most Haunted could be the most dramatic yet, and by dramatic I mean that Stuart has been practising his fainting!

In the first episode, Yvette introduces a brand new Most Haunted team member, bulldog Watson, a dog with more intelligence than the rest of the team put together. This location starts to give up its mysteries as soon as the team arrives and it has to film differently to accommodate a particularly aggressive poltergeist, who I swear is not Karl or Stuart throwing stuff!

So there is the official blurb, onto the show.

How old is this theme tune? it really is awful, can someone just knock up a new version for them? We start off the show with Yvette talking about the Abbey House Museum in Leeds. I am guessing she hasn't found a new hairdresser yet as she has the same god awful hair cut.

To be fair the Abbey House looks pretty cool, and as a museum really does not need any of the ghost nonsense to sell it.

Yvette tells us that there has been many reports of ghostly hair pulling, so guessing it wont be Stuart who gets his hair pulled!

We now get introduced to who will undoubtably become the most popular member of the team, shortly before being brutally fired because Yvette is jealous of them (see Jason Karl, Phil Whyman, Matthew Smith, and so on). Yes it is Watson!

I am guessing we will get a lot of Yvette talking like a baby any time she talks to the dog. Lets hope the dog doesn't take any of her shit!

Next up we hear from this guy.

A surprisingly like-able man, doing his job as Event Coordinator.

Tells a few unlikely stories and he is then forgotten.

Great to see the so called Skeptic back, Glen, and yes he still has his hands in his pocket and he is still smirking. Did you know he and Yvette do a podcast together! I tried to listen to an episode once, but I suddenly found that I had become possessed by a suicidal 13th century Monk, so I quickly turned it off, and all was well again.

We get to see a hilarious clip of Yvette that was "recorded earlier" in it she is doing a piece to camera, suddenly there is a noise, and as the camera pans around Karl and Fred are there looking suspicious, and they go to investigate, the dog then decides to piss off as he is getting bored. Hilarious that the dog didn't bark or get spooked at all, he just smelling around like dogs do. Yvette tried to claim that Watson was scared and ran away!

I had hoped that sense had prevailed and that Melanie Crump would return, but remember what I said earlier about anyone who ends up more popular than Yvette, they get fired! I do miss Melanie Crump, literally the only interesting and attractive person to appear on the show in its history.

Yvette is jumping and screaming at every noise, despite the fact that Karl and Fred are always off camera!

Yvette tells us that they have to cut the usual walk around footage as there is so much activity that they need to show it.

For some reason the ghosts are throwing around little kids toys, and as usual it is always Karl or Stuart who are right near where the items are thrown, and neither are in the camera view! I'd love to get my hands on the unedited individual camera footage, now if only the Most Haunted Mole could get me that!

The team splits up, they put the fake night vision on, and now I assume we will get 25 minutes of fannying about! No sign of Watson, I am guessing he is having a snooze somewhere.

Fred & Karl looking for Yvette's career

I wonder why we are not given access to the locations security cameras? Surely they would show more since the MH team refuse to have any static cameras!

If you ever play "Most Haunted Bingo" make sure one of the options is "Did you hear that?", one of the truely most annoying parts of this show.

Strangely Karl is acting like a scared child, and getting Fred to chase after shadows.

On Glen's team they are fascinated by a lift button that keeps getting pushed while Stuart is stood next to it! The ghosties really like to wind Stuart up don't they!

More little figures are being thrown about. Never on camera, always near Karl. If these are museum pieces, I wonder if the owners could claim from the insurance against Most Haunted if any damage is caused!

Hands on hips, Career in the shits

We are 25 minutes in, and the dog is nowhere to be seen. We got this huge intro to Watson, and he has buggered off. I hear from my source that when Karl was throwing the little wooden figures, that Watson kept chasing after them, picking them up and taking them back to Karl, which in turn gave the game away!

Fred pulls off a bizarre move and then claims he was kicked in the leg. Either he faked it, or he simply got cramp, which can happen when you are stood about for periods of time doing nothing! But of course they don't have a real skeptic on set to give rational explanations.

Yvette actually at one point states that Watson is too small to reach the lift call button! As if us skeptics are gonna blame the dog, who has pretty much done sod all, and not reacted to anything so far! He is the only honest member of the team.

Watson is back now and they are outside, I wonder if he dropped a big turd inside, so they got told to take him outside.

Karl claims to hear a can move in a shop, Watson couldn't give a crap. He really is not at all fussed. Yvette and Karl are desperate for Watson to do something interesting, but he is just acting like how a dog acts, walking about, sniffing stuff, looking for tail.

Watson contemplating what he did to deserve

to be left with these idiots.

You can hear poor Watson breathing hard, a bi-product of generations of inbreeding which has caused a short face which in turn causes brachycephalic syndrome, if you are considering buying a dog, avoid breeds, they are unhealthy. Go to your local shelter home and rescue a dog that needs it, dont give money to breeders who are creating these poor creatures who live a life of pain just so rich idiots like Yvette and Karl can have a cute looking dog!

Back to the Scooby gang, and I wonder if Glen was only every brought onto the team due to his radio experience, and so he could help create the podcast "vehicle" for Yvette? I wonder how many people listen to her show? It doesn't make any top tens as far as I can see?

Everyone is getting a bit bored now, as nothing is happening, mainly due to Karl and Stuart having been told by the Event Coordinator Mark to stop throwing around valuable museum pieces.

Karl starts begging the ghosties to do something, feels like they are starting the build up to the grand finale already, which makes sense as we are in the last 8 minutes of the show.

Karl is now apparently walking around on his own and getting freaked out. A door in the distance seemingly closes on it's own. Almost as if on cue, like it was planned. We get about 20 replays of the door, and Karl saying "shut that door" in his camp voice.

Guessing no one under 40 will get that reference.

A piano makes a noise, Karl gets a bit more scared, starts pressing some piano keys himself. And that's the end! The big finale was a door shutting slowly on it's own, a piano makes a slight noise, and that's it.

Watson being added to the team did absolutely nothing, he never reacted to anything, never barked, and generally didn't give a toss about anyone or anything that was going on. And for that he was the star of the show.

9/10 for Watson.

2/10 for Most Haunted.

That's all folks. If I get any kind of interest in my review I might do more, if no one cares then this will be a one and done.

Please leave your comments below.

Tweet me on @JonDonnis and send your abuse to @TheBadPsych

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And whatever you do, don't let the bed bugs bite. Because if you do they can transmit Trypanosoma cruzi, the parasite that causes Chagas disease, one of the most prevalent and deadly diseases around.

By Jon Donnis

Self Proclaimed Psychic Medium Charlie Kelly Makes Rather Specific Threat Towards Jon Donnis

In a recent Facebook Q+A, Self Proclaimed Psychic Medium Charlie Kelly Made a Rather Specific Threat towards Jon Donnis the owner and editor of this very website, BadPsychics.com after we published a articles examining a number of readings that Charlie had given at a show.

What do you think?