21 August 2014

TV REVIEW: Most Haunted - Episode 3/10. Newton House Part 2


Before I begin, if you haven't already you can review my World Exclusive reviews of Episode 1 here and Episode 2 here.

Right then onto Episode 3, this is the second part to the Newton House episode.

We start off as they mean to go on, with silliness around the Ouija Board, again quick reminder that Ouija was invented by businessman Elijah Bond, and had nothing to do with the occult until the first World War, and that Hasbro own the rights to it these days!

Welsh heavy metal band, Bullet For My Valentine are joining in again with the festivities, I really feel for these poor guys that the only PR gig he could get them was as guests on Most Haunted! I've listened to their music and its pretty good, so a real shame they have to sit through such nonsense, including watching Yvette push a glass round a table!

As I watch the pathetic attempt at Ouija manipulation, you'd think someone, anyone would come up with a simple protocol to prove its a load of rubbish, for a start blind fold them, I actually think they did that on a Live show once and of course they got no words spelled at all!

The lack of a proper Skeptic on the show is quite sad, but we all know that Ciaran was just a paid actor playing the role of Parapsychologist on the show and was directed by Karl Beattie, so even if they did have a proper skeptic, he would just do what he was told regardless. Also I don't count Dr John Callow, mainly due to the fact he is just reading from a prompt at the end of the show!

Towards the end of the Ouija board nonsense, with Yvette whistling and so on, suddenly out of nowhere (when I say nowhere I mean from Karl Beattie), a metal cup flies past Stuart, and amazingly it was not caught on camera!

The lack of any Crump 10 minutes into the episode is sad, they have a true star in Melanie Crump, but her popularity will surely send her to the job centre, as we all know that Yvette hates anyone more popular than her!

And if like me you think The Crump is the only reason to watch this new series of Most Haunted well you can like a fan page for her on Facebook here.

Interesting moment while Karl and cameraman Chris are off investigating a room, whereby Super Samurai warrior Karl is hiding behind Chris cause he is so scared! Oh hang on a moment that whole "Karl is a Samurai" thing was all debunked and proven to be utter and complete lies! lol. I almost forgot about that!

I wonder if Chris could be the new Stuart! Nah that will never happen! There is only one "Unknown Stuntman" in Most Haunted, and in case you forgot here is our world famous compilation video of Stuart


Anyway back to Most Haunted and Karl and Chris are begging for the ghosts to rock a rocking chair, as expected nothing happens, so they try to get the ghosties to make contact through a disconnected radio, and of course sodall happens.

Back to Yvette and the rest of the crew and Yvette is begging to be slapped! Yes literally begging to be slapped by the ghosties! Damn at that moment I wished that ghosts really did exist! But alas Yvette didn't get slapped.

Fred Batt is probably the biggest disappointment to the new series, he really doesn't add anything at all. Not from a historical interest position or from the position of "demonologist" They really need to get a proper medium on the show, as at least that will give me something to expose.

It did occur to me that during this and the last episode, pretty much all of the noises could easily have been made by rats which there undoubtedly is at Newton House.

Lets just put into perspective what it is I am watching.
Grown adults standing about in a low lit room, calling out and speaking to ghosts that do not exist. This truly is ridiculous.

Much like the previous episodes a lot of noises are picked up in the editing room after, funny that! Almost as if they have been added post-production!

Here is a quick screen grab of Mel Crump looking scared!


No reason for that, other than need to get The Crump some more publicity! She is surely the only person in the crew not in on the scam, she genuinely seems concerned in some parts!

Stuart has been suspiciously quiet in this episode, other than having a metal cup thrown past him, he hasn't done anything. I am guessing since he pretended to faint that he may have fulfilled his contracted fakery for the day!

Yvette starts doing a weird chant (some ancient Hebrew prayer chant), at which point one of the Bullet For My Valentine boys is mimicking her from behind, really funny moment, they are obviously getting a bit fed up now and are just entertaining themselves. I wouldn't be surprised if they start throwing things about.

In what must be a first for Most Haunted while Fred and Karl are investigating a corridor, when Fred is looking through a hole in a door, a pine cone is suddenly "thrown" obviously by Karl when the camera is facing away. They pick it up and put it where Karl blatantly picked it up from and ask for it to be moved again, and of course nothing happens! But I must say first Pine Cone on Most Haunted!

Newton House does look to be a great old building, lots of corridors and rooms, literally a ghost hunters wet dream!

After some stones are dropped, Yvette declares that it was definitely poltergeist activity! Well done Yvette for remaining impartial!

One of the more amusing parts of the show is where one of the Bullet For My Valentine boys decides he is picking things up from the other side! He even manages to keep a straight face when describing that these things just come to him!

As we get towards the end of the episode, we have something else thrown just as Karl turns the camera away, this time a candle stick, the problem with Karl obviously throwing these things, is that his reactions really give it away. Karl and Fred do not make a good tag team, Karl really needs Stuart, but alas Stuart is off hiding somewhere it seems and the show really suffers without the ham acting of Stuart to liven things up.

Out of the first 3 episodes the second one is easily the most entertaining, the first episode is boring, and the third one is just a bit silly in parts. Of course the wannabe ghost hunters out there will lap it up, the Yvette fans will claim it is all real, and the rest of us will just roll our eyes and remember back to the days of Derek Acorah.

The episode finishes off with what they claim is the most compelling evidence yet of paranormal activity! which is basically a locked off camera filming an old wheelchair apparently moving on its own, to me the way the chair moves kinda looks like its being pulled with some fishing wire, it just doesn't move naturally whatsoever.

As usual Dr John Callow speaks sense at the end, but stays away from accusing any of the crew members from faking, and he doesn't even mention the wheel chair moving, I wonder if any comments about that were edited out for obvious reasons.

Either way it is the same old nonsense, just without a medium.

Woo folk will love it, skeptics will roll their eyes, and the rest wont give a toss.

Poor episode and nowhere near as entertaining as the second episode.


Most Haunted
UK Premiere - Series Continues
Thursday 4th September, 10pm
3/10. Newton House Part 2
The brand new series of Most Haunted continues exclusively on Really with another spooky investigation from Yvette Fielding and the team.

This week the Most Haunted team carry on their exploration of Newton House in South Wales.
Newton House’s main structure was built in 1660 and many believe it was built on cursed ground and the lost souls that wander the halls have been there since before the main house was built. Each room and corridor is supposedly inhabited by different spirits; haggard old women, crazed murderers and the ghosts of children are just a few of the ‘poltergeists’ that are believed to be living within the building and they are seemingly all ready to play with and scare Yvette, the crew and her very special guests, heavy metal band, Bullet For My Valentine.

Certain rooms in the house seem to have a very high energy and the team are faced with nausea, flying objects and even verbal threats they believe has come from some of the ghosts. One movement caught on a fixed camera even means the whole team’s beliefs could be altered forever. With alleged spirits and souls galore Newton House is sure to be one of the team’s toughest challenges yet but with all the danger it begs the question – will they all make it out alive?

16 August 2014

EXCLUSIVE: Footage of Most Haunted Crew Getting up to no good a few years ago



A few years ago when I was leaking off air footage from the Most Haunted Lives, I came across this rather interesting piece of footage.

This is what goes on off air, just a bit of fooling about, not criticising them, just think its a nice piece of unseen footage.

And yes that Thermo Imaging cam cost about £25,000!

Enjoy


15 August 2014

Most Haunted Parody - Scariest Places: Kelvedon Hatch Secret Nuclear Bunker


Take the Cake proudly present Scariest Places, the Most Haunted spoof around...

Join Annette Pielding, Merrick Alora, Carl BT, Chris O'Beef and Dick Feelit for a spine tingling ghost investigation at Kelvedon Hatch Secret Nuclear Bunker in Essex.

What will the team discover after spending the whole night underground.


Written by 
Tim Benge

Co Written by
Michael D Roberts
Berni Hubbard

Directed by
Berni Hubbard
Michael D Roberts

Produced by
Michael D Roberts
Berni Hubbard


www.facebook.com/takethecakeproductions

Twitter: @takethecakepro @michaeldroberts @Berni13

www.takethecakeproductions.co.uk

This sketch will be on the Haunted Channel on VirginMedia 198 on Wednesday 13th August

TV REVIEW: Most Haunted - Episode 2/10. Newton House Part 1


Despite promising myself I wouldn't watch any more of the new series, my review of episode 1 garnered a lot of attention so I thought what the hell.

So they are back at Newton House, which they already investigated in Series 11, Episode 13, and in fact you can watch the entire episode at the following Youtube Link and if you are interested in the location you can read the Wikipedia page Here

For anyone unaware Newton House is run by the National Trust, and like most old places there is the usual haunting stories, usually concocted to increase tourism.

Anyway the episode, they have Fred Batt as the Demonologist/Historian, he just doesn't have any kind of charisma.

For some strange reason they have "celebrity" guests Bullet for My Valentine a Welsh heavy metal band from Bridgend, and damn they just killed any credibility they ever had by appearing on Most Haunted, instantly they come across as a bunch of wimpy wannabes! You wouldn't have Ozzy Osbourne and Black Sabbath acting like scared kids if they ever went on Most Haunted.

Before the investigation even begins we have the absolutely gorgeous and only reason to watch MH in Mel Crump claim that a light came on despite it not being plugged in, of course this wasn't caught on camera, and we then have to put up with Karl analysing the situation!

With the investigation now underway, we get the usual nonsense of Yvette calling out, whistling and doing whatever she can to try and get the ghosties to respond, the problem is that ghosts don't exist, so any noises they do hear are without doubt the crew.

We have a few things being thrown, ALWAYS off camera of course, but then that's the point especially since Karl and Stuart are the ones holding the main cameras! And Surprise Surprise (it's Cilla Here) things being thrown are always behind them!

Can we just have 40 minutes of Mel Crump instead please? For sure she will get fired for being more popular than Yvette, that is usually what happens!

So to recap we have about 10 or so people wandering around, and every time the camera is pointing one way, things are being thrown elsewhere, its almost like the ghosts know where and when to throw things so that they don't get caught on camera! What clever ghosts you are!

One thing I will say which is a good point, is that there is a lot less of them just pointing the handy cams at their own faces, Blair Witch style.

The sad thing about Most Haunted is that even if you believed it was all legit (which it clearly isn't) they get so excited over the most mundane of occurrences, and Fred Batt does his best to further encourage them by talking about bad energy, and warning them to be careful of what they call out and say, the problem is Fred Batt just lacks personality and credibility, and unlike someone like Derek Acorah, the general public have no reason to like him.

My favourite part of the whole episode has to be Stuart playing his old tricks, while standing next to Karl (who else!) Stuart suddenly falls, again off camera.

When he comes too, there is the usual nonsense from him of "what happened" and then flash backs to him feeling a bit queasy earlier because of the energies of the house!

Stuart admits he "just fainted" as Karl looks lovingly in his eyes! Only Karl and Yvette seem concerned, the rest of the crew just don't seem that bothered, almost as if it was pre-planned!

And as Stuart recovers something is thrown from "behind" Karl, again off camera, they wander about, things get thrown off camera, usually from by Karl or Stuart!

Worth watching Mel Crump and her reactions, you can see her cover her mouth with her scarf every so often, I think probably because she is stifling a laugh.

I would say that this episode is better than episode 1 simply because Stuart and Karl are up to their old tricks.

We even get some Ouija Board action, do you think someone should tell them Ouija was invented by businessman Elijah Bond, and had nothing to do with the occult until the first World War, also I believe I am right in saying that Hasbro own the rights to it these days!

Good to see Yvette doesn't risk wearing a glove during the "push a glass round a table" part of the evening, we all remember her getting caught cheating on a Live show many years ago!

With Karl and Stuart off doing their own "Vidgual", as you can imagine the sillyness commences.

Stuart hears a "wining" noise, which is definitely "Not Human", well I wouldn't say that about Karl myself, but I guess Stuart is allowed too!

Karl has probably only 2% more personality than Fred Batt! Damn this show really misses Derek Acorah, at least with Derek you could guarantee a possession or two per episode! These days at best we get Stuart pretend to pass out, or Karl whistling to himself.

Watching Most Haunted, and watching Yvette play silly board games, I have to ask, is there really anyone dumb enough out there who believes in this stuff? And if there is how do these people hold down normal jobs and relationships?

At one point Stuart locks himself in a room, and we have to watch him shouting "help", until the door miraculously unlocks itself, its moments like this I truly despair at.

At the end Dr John Callow makes some fair and interesting points, it's just a shame it is so obvious he is reading it off a prompt.

Most Haunted is silly, its not a real paranormal investigation, we know this, hell even OFCOM made an official announcement declaring the show was not a serious paranormal investigation, so the question remains, is it entertaining, well to some I am sure it is, and to others, it is mind numbingly boring, and a total waste of time watching.

I think the biggest problem Most Haunted have is that despite it being a spoof show, they play it like it is real, and from that you get ignorant people believing it is real. Unlike Ghostwatch (which MH was based on), we don't get the ridiculous big ending, and I think that is what the show misses. We used to get it back in the days of Derek Acorah, but since he left, they simply haven't found anyone to replace him.

I would say to avoid episode 1 since it is just a re-edit of the webisodes they made people pay for a while back, and go straight to episode 2 which is a proper episode, with a lot of the silly-ness we are more used too.

Anyway the next episode is the second part of the Newton House investigation, I will see if I can find a spare hour to review that soon, I think I will though, if only so we can mention Mel Crump again, who I am sure will get a LOT of fans when this series starts airing.

Official Blurb for Episode 2 below!

By Jon Donnis


Most Haunted
UK Premiere- New Series
Thursday 28th August, 10pm
2/10. Newton House
The brand new series of Most Haunted continues exclusively on Really with another spooky investigation from Yvette Fielding and the team.

This week is sees the first of a two part investigation as the team explore Newton House in South Wales. Yvette and the crew have visited this venue before but with such a huge amount of supposed paranormal activity they just had to return – and this time they have some very special guests – world famous Welsh heavy-metal band, Bullet for My Valentine.

Moving objects, children’s laugher, guests and staff experiencing choking sensations – these are just a few of the phenomena that are regularly reported. Multiple ghosts of haggard old women and children are allegedly seen daily, making the halls of this spooky building the perfect venue for a spine-chilling investigation.
The main structure of the house dates back to 1660 and its history is filled with conflict and pain. The most famous ‘ghost’ in the house is reputedly the ghost of the murdered Lady Cavendish who is said to have been strangled to death at the top of the building and her murderer is believed to haunt the long corridors. All this means that the team are up against some unexplained phenomenon when exploring the eerie halls of Newton House…

In one of the spookiest investigations in the history of Most Haunted the team is faced with multiple challenges and possible spirits. Loud footsteps, banging doors and even disembodied voices are only a few of the frights in store for Yvette, the band and her team.

1 August 2014

TV REVIEW: Most Haunted - Episode 1/10. The Royal Court Theatre – Bacup



Review: By Jon Donnis

So Most Haunted is finally back, after been relegated to being an online only show, they finally managed to convince a TV company to recommission it.

Sad to say it, but it is the same old nonsense only worse.

Gone are stones and pebbles being chucked by Stuart Torevell, only to be replaced by rolls of tape strangely! The first episodes revolves around rolls of tape being moved and chucked! How riveting!

A few knocks here and there, some noises, Yvette screaming, and lots of running around in the dark, and that's it!

Disgraced Ciaran O'Keeffe is gone completely, and the only "skeptic" is someone called Dr John Callow, who according to his website is "an author, screenwriter and historian, specialising in Seventeenth Century politics, witchcraft, and popular culture."

He gets about 30 seconds at the end of the episode to drone on about things that have happened.

The biggest problem with Most Haunted is that we all know it is faked, it is a spoof, people who watch, do so because they want to be entertained, and since Derek Acorah left there is simply nothing left to be entertained by.

Watching middle aged uneducated people wonder about in the dark is just not entertaining, where is the showmanship, where is the excitement?

We ALL know its faked, so at least make it entertaining instead of pretending you have any credibility whatsoever.

Most Haunted may be back, but I suspect after this first episodes the ratings will tank. There is no credibility on the show, there is no entertainment, there is no science. Just people going through the motions to pick up a pay check.

Only good thing is that they got rid of that awful Cath Howe and replaced her with the lovely Mel!

Most Haunted Episode One I give it a 1/10

Most Haunted
UK PREMIERE – NEW SERIES
Thursday 21st August, 10pm
1/10. The Royal Court Theatre – Bacup

Most Haunted is back with a spine-chilling new 10-part series where the team investigates purported paranormal activity in locations across the UK including The Royal Court Theatre in Lancashire and Sheffield’s National Emergency Services Museum. Yvette Fielding is joined by a crew made up from old and new faces; Chris, Darren and Karl on cameras,;Matt on sound; Stuart on lighting; hair and make-up Mel, and demonologist Fred. Together they explore brand new territories, as well as revisiting some old haunts and discover new phenomena that defy belief. With some gripping celebrity specials, including one with Ben Foden and the England Rugby Team, and the award-winning Welsh heavy metal band Bullet for My Valentine, it’s going to be the best series yet.

In the first programme of the new series, the Most Haunted ghost hunting team start in a small theatre with a supposed big problem… from negative entities to a plethora of ghost sightings, the Royal Court Theatre in Bacup has seen it all. The building is said to house so much activity that the theatre’s director asked Yvette and the team for help.

Originally an iron foundry, the building was ravished by fire in 1886. Seven years later in 1893 the theatre as it is now known was opened. In its time it’s been used as a bingo hall and a church as well as a theatre; with so many varied tenants it’s no wonder the little building is rumoured to have such a cast of ghosts waiting in the wings.

As the crew set about investigating the alleged haunted happenings in the theatre objects are thrown and strange smells sensed… when knocking seems to indicate a death happened in the building things start hotting up.

The atmosphere becomes tense as the team brings in a Ouija board - in an evening of sheer fright with apparent poltergeist activity, ghostly footsteps abound and scare after scare, the team set about trying to make it through the night.