Correcting Yvette Fieldings latest revisionist history over Most Haunted

 

By Jon Donnis

It is 2023 and for some reason I am still having to correct stories put out there about Derek Acorah and Most Haunted.

Yvette Fielding is currently on a Podcast tour as she tries to promote an upcoming Most Haunted Tour thing, and they have some big venues lined up, so are desperate to sell tickets.

I will address some of the claims Yvette made on the "Celebrity Catch Up: Life After That Thing I Did." Podcast.(No, I never heard of it either, guessing it is a show for washed up celebs, past their prime, desperate for any attention.), which are also being "picked up" by some tabloids. (These are paid for, placed articles in the papers, trust me, no reporter gives a damn about what a 90s Blue Peter presenter is saying on a podcast that no one listens too.)

"It used to really upset me. I mean, when we found out that Derek was a fake, I think I cried the first time because I had told him things about my deceased relatives and he told me things back," Yvette Fielding.

First quote I want to respond to, Yvette Fielding KNEW Derek wasn't a genuine medium from the very first episode, if not before, they hired him because he was charismatic and entertaining, and probably the biggest name on the growing psychic circuit at the time, he had TV experience under his belt. But the idea she "found out" he was fake, years after him being on the show is a nonsense. Especially when you consider on this very website we were exposing him week in week out. HE GOT POSSESSED BY A CHIMP IN THE FIRST EVER EPISODE!

"And also, being on camera and him, you know, going into these alleged possessions and becoming very threatening to me and the team members to the point where he'd actually hurt us and we just thought that, 'Nah, there's something going on,' this is so bad, so that was upsetting." Yvette Fielding.

Ok, this is a very specific claim and one I had never heard of before. In all the years of Most Haunted I never heard anyone say that Derek Acorah hurt them. I have heard about other cast members doing things, which I wont say here and now, but never Derek.

So I decided to find out, and who better to ask than a person who was there on nearly every shoot. Derek's wife Gwen.

I asked Gwen straight, was there ever any complaint or report about Derek hurting someone in mid performance. She replied as follows.

"I was at more or less every filming and there was never a complaint.  The possession stuff was welcomed and embraced because it pleased the audience and therefore pleased Living TV which in turn swelled the Antix coffers." Gwen Acorah.

I then decided to ask Gwen if Derek had ever been physically hurt by a member of the crew, her reply is as follows.

"The only person ever physically hurt was actually Derek when Stuart (during a live seance) threw a tumbler at Derek which resulted in him having a cut hand. It actually went out for all to see (I think Berry Pomeroy?).  Stuart claimed that a spirit had made him do it." Gwen Acorah.

On the Podcast Yvette also addressed the fact that OFCOM had ruled that the show was "For Entertainment Purposes Only" and that it was obviously "Not a serious investigation".

She said.

"Then the Ofcom ruling came in, they watched the show and, because of Derek and the fakery, they watched the show and they said, 'No, we've decided that is for entertainment purposes only.' That was absolutely soul-destroying for us because it is real, it's a real investigation, we don't make it as a television show." Yvette Fielding.

I need to make a few things clear here. When the show started it was myself and various members of the BadPsychics family that sent in many complaints to OFCOM regarding MH, our aim was for them to either label the show as Entertainment Only, or to have it taken off the air, as clearly the show was faked.

OFCOM replied to us, that it was OBVIOUS that the show was not a serious investigation, and that it was clearly for Entertainment Purposes Only. Not long after that, such disclaimers had to go up regarding pretty much anything that involved the "occult".One of the reasons was actually do to with the show that Most Haunted copied, the BBC Parody show Ghost Watch. Which although labeled as satire, a lot of people thought was real. People watching had various mental breakdowns, I think someone killed themself, and basically the BBC got into a ton of trouble, and replays of the show were banned for a long time.

OFCOM labeled the show as not real, because the show was not real. Yes Derek was a part of that, as he was the star, but the show was clearly filled with trained actors and performers. Jason Karl in series 1 was an actor employed to play the part of a parapsychologist, ironically he was the best one they ever had on the show. The same with Ciaran O'Keeffe, regardless of his real life PhD, he was employed to play a part. Yvette Fielding, also a trained actress.

Keep in mind that we were exposing the entire show as faked, not just Derek. We showed many times from our "Most Haunted Mole" videos, what was really going on. Yvette is clearly rewriting history here.

For example I released the "Mary Loves Dick" video. This was a pre-record that they actually aired in a fake night vision filter on the live show. I got hold of the original tape that included what went on after they had "cut" the scene.

Another thing that needs to be addressed is the false notion that Derek Acorah was fired from Most Haunted after the "Kreed Kafer" thing. This is simply not true.

"We tell people everything is real, then it turns out he was a fake, so he had to go." Yvette Fielding.

As I have repeatedly stated on here, Derek was NEVER fired, his contract was up and he was leaving regardless. And luckily for me Gwen Acorah just 24 hours ago wrote about that on her social media, confirming everything I have said for years.

Here is what she wrote.

"I would like Antix to cast their minds back to a date in October 2004 when a meeting was requested in Manchester by Derek’s then agent, Stuart Hobday, at the Antix offices.  

In attendance were Derek, Stuart, Karl, Yvette, Richard Wolffe and Clare Hollywood (both of Living TV).

The purpose of the meeting was for Derek to tender his resignation from the programme Most Haunted.  Derek was feeling the strain of being involved in the programme and no longer wanted to continue being part of it.  

An agreement was reached whereby Derek would complete one more series of the programme (Series 6) and 2 or 3 more lives, the last one being Halloween 2005.  

A further arrangement was made that a member of Livingtv staff would be present at every filming to give Derek peace of mind that he would not be mistreated nor undermined. Those four people were Richard Wolffe, Claire Hollywood, Steve Jones and another lady who worked closely with the Living TV production team. 

Richard Wolffe also promised to create a programme specifically for Derek and this is how Derek Acorah’s Ghost towns came about.  

Filming commenced but by the time Spring 2005 came around Derek was on his knees with stress and at Sinai House he walked out of make up and away from the programme for the last time.  

Claire Hollywood was in attendance and he told her that he was finished, that he’d do the last live at Halloween but that was it. 

Gordon Smith was brought in to complete a short series 7 to make up the shortfall of series 6 programme numbers." Gwen Acorah.

Now what Gwen doesn't mention here is that the Mirror Article with the Kreed Kafer thing was released the day before (or the same day) that the Most Haunted Live was to air. The Mirror article, by the way, which had stolen a LOT of material from this very website, without crediting me.

The article was ONLY supposed to expose Derek, Karl and Ciaran had worked with the journalist to give him the story. But the journalist wanted a bigger story so used information from BadPsychics to pad it up. (I was in contact with him at the time, unbeknownst to Ciaran and Karl).

Living TV producers were beyond furious, as Karl had basically flushed the entire show and format down the toilet just as a way to try to bury Derek as he was leaving, remember as Gwen mentions Living TV had a new show lined up for Derek. The hilarious Ghost Towns.

Living TV bosses made it clear that if Derek didn't want to go on MHL he didn't have to. Keep in mind that Living TV were also concerned that Derek would sue them for breach of contract etc. If Derek did not appear on the live show, Most Haunted was finished, that would have been the end of the show.

Amazingly Derek decided he WOULD do the show. And literally stand face to face with people who had just stabbed in in the back and tried to ruin his post MH career. By doing that he literally saved Most Haunted from being cancelled for good.

The irony being that Derek saved Most Haunted, after they nearly self destructed.

That is the truth. Now please don't waste your money going to any Most Haunted show. 

REVIEW: Most Haunted - Series 1 Episode 5 (25th June 2002) Leap Castle, Coolderry, County Offaly, Ireland

As I write this it is the 27th March 2020, the world is on lock down, due to a world wide pandemic. Thousands of people are dead due to the Covid-19 Coronavirus outbreak, the streets are empty, it literally feels like we are living in a post apocalyptic world, people in massive queues to get bread and toilet tissue, people scared to even get close to each other in fear of catching this deadly disease. But with all that happening I have decided to do something even worse! I have decided to review another classic episode of Most Haunted.

I have also stuck to my promise that I would not review any of the new Most Haunted stuff unless it got over 100,000 views, their new stuff at most is getting between 10,000 to 15,000 views, which is hardly surprising.

We travel back in time to Series 1 Episode 5 (25th June 2002) Leap Castle, Coolderry, County Offaly, Ireland. A time when bog rolls were aplenty, brand name bread cost just 50p a loaf, and Karl Beattie still had his original hair, long before the transplant. So with that, let's take a look at the blurb.

"The Most Haunted team travel to the Republic of Ireland to visit historic Leap Castle. Legend says the castle is home to a half-man, half-animal elemental. The Most Haunted crew hold a séance in the infamous Bloody Chapel."

This is the first episode of Most Haunted I will have reviewed since the death of Derek Acorah, it will be interesting to watch him, back in his prime.

This episode is one of the Most Haunted Unseen episodes, I don't recall exactly what that meant, I assume it just meant it had a few extra scenes thrown in? I grabbed it off youtube, so what can you do.

We start off with Yvette and for some reason she seems really aggressive in her intro, I am guessing she was trying to get across how scary and dangerous this place was.

Many a cow had to die for that long leather coat.

She tells us that the castle is home to a "half-man, half-animal elemental" ghost. I hope Derek Acorah gets possessed by this. I wonder if in the afterlife Derek has met up with all these ghosts who possessed him? Even the famous monkey from episode 1 I think it was? That would be interesting to see.

Now although Yvette Fielding does look fetching in her red leather trousers, as a vegan I cannot approve.

She sits down with actor Jason Karl who is playing the part of a parapsychologist to talk about the castle. Worth noting that despite being an employed actor playing the part of a parapsychologist, I give him credit as being one of the more skeptical people who played this part, and as such was many times more credible than those who followed him. And in case you didn't know, he was only fired from the show, because he became too popular with the viewers. Remember this whole show was supposed to be a vehicle to relaunch Yvette's career. As history now tells us that failed and Derek Acorah quickly became the true star of the show.

Jason explains how the elemental ghost is created by negative energy. He also talks about these "coil" types of energy that only appear in photographs, as always a real skeptic knows the cause of such "manifestations" are usually a hair near the lens, or the camera strap hanging down, funny how these images pretty much disappeared from the genre as cameras on Smartphones became more prevalent and of higher quality.

Yvette tells us how she is scared for the arrival of Derek Acorah who apparently has "no idea about Leap Castle at all", well that's 4 minutes in and we get our first direct lie. Derek worked as a spiritualist medium, the idea that he would have "no idea" about Leap Castle is ridiculous. It was his job, it was his life. He knew.

We then get an interview with Sean Ryan the owner of the castle, and boy is this a treat, he is like the character Ted from The Fast Show.



Sean does a decent job "selling" his tourist attraction. We also get a quick piece to camera from a small child.

Now to make you feel old, she is nearly 30 years old now! And has had a career as a professional dancer and teacher. A seven times provincial champion and a top 10 World championship medal holder for eight consecutive years!

Check out her page at https://academy.riverdance.com/blog/instructor/ciara-callanan-ryan/

You could argue that she has had a more successful career after appearing on Most Haunted than Yvette Fielding has, after all Ciera only appears once on the show, and Yvette is still trying to make a living from pretending to see ghosts.

Ok I have lost my train of thought now, yes we were watching a program about fake ghosts.

We see some footage from Karl's camera, he is filming in the day, worth noting Yvette calls him "our producer Karl". He films a burning fire from afar. This is something that any good ghost hunter should do more often, just film a fire burning, with a bit of luck you will get at least a single frame of something in the fire that looks like a face, purely a pareidolia effect, but it would look great for your gullible fans.

Completely pointless segment and totally understandable why this got cut from the original airing.

Yvette is still wondering around doing pieces to camera, great to see them do some effort with production too, some nice shots with candles burning and so on.

Jason Karl announces that the battery in his camera has gone dead. He also clearly states that he has been using it all day. That's how batteries work mate, you charge them, you use them, they go dead. To try an make this some kind of paranormal event is ridiculous and just shows a total lack of intelligence, but then again it could also be that you are doing it deliberately as part of your "gas lighting" of the audience.

Rick Fielding of the Fielding family claims he has heard a whisper noise in his ear. Jason Karl then pulls out an EMF meter and says there is a high reading right where they are, the fact he is surrounded by people holding electrical equipment all giving off electromagnetic fields seems beyond him.

15 minutes in and the investigation proper finally starts, Derek has now appeared.

Derek looking smart gets straight into his act as they go up some stairs, and he claims he can see a figure, and is very descriptive of her.

I really had forgotten how good Derek was at describing made up ghosts. But there is also the problem that everything he says just sounds like innuendo.

Derek is now describing the ghost as not just spirit but as inter dimensional, whatever that is supposed to mean. The ghost is changing shape, so it's an inter-dimensional, shape shifting being. We then hear the owner of the Castle off camera getting a bit nervous and warning Derek about the elemental spirit.

Derek then comes up with the name "Sir Henry Darby", an on screen graphic confirms the name and that he was born at Leap Castle in 1749 and served as an Admiral in the British Navy.

The funny thing is that back in the day, when this show would air, you would have the believers quickly declaring that this was proof that Derek was legit, and you had skeptics quickly checking the internet to see how easy such information could be found out, and then the battle between the two opposing groups. I took part in such battles, and I am a bit embarrassed that I did now. It so obviously faked, and although I knew it was faked, I spent way too much time proving it was all fake. I was one of those skeptics.

If this was to air today, many many less people would believe in Derek as they did in the past, and only the hardcore would really get into arguments trying to prove it all one way or another. I think it is partly a shame that both believers and skeptics got so annoyed with each other, when realistically Derek was just playing the part of a character on a TV show, no different to Jason Karl playing the part of parapsychologist.

But we did take it all too seriously back in the day, non more so than me.

Now when I see him come up with a name, I really have no interest to check if it's a real name or not, or how easy it is to research, it really doesn't matter.

This guy starts talking about how some batteries are running down and how there was some audio issues, of course the presumption is that this is caused by the ghosties.

Derek has found a small room, which has a ghost monk in it. Derek is in full "Degsie Mode" here. Of course what he is saying matches up to some Monk who was at the castle hundreds of years ago.

Worth noting here how they regularly seem to switch from a black and white filter to REAL night vision mode.

Great way to spot night vision is the eyes.

Of course it is completely pointless as the area is well lit, there are candles lit everywhere, a big roaring fire. It is not dark in any way, so this is purely a production choice to make things seem more spooky.

Karl is with Rick and is desperately trying to get him to have a seance. Rick is not interested though.

We then get an "orb". I had forgotten about them, boy did they go on about them a lot back in the day.

Yvette does her best Blair Witch Project shot, but the problem is that in the Blair Witch Project, it was done with full colour.

We then get another orb shot, Yvette proudly declares on voice over that Orbs are the first signs of a ghost manifestation.

Karl and Rick are doing their seance stuff, but it comes across more as just two nervous blokes having a laugh on camera, which ironically is exactly what they were.

Yvette is now pretending to cry as a ghost is nearby, putting her trained actress skills to full use there.

Remember when Yvette pretended that Harry Styles tried to seduce her when he was 16? About as likely as Karl claiming to be the worlds last samurai.

I've started to get bored now, not enough Derek. Need a good possession to get me interested again.
Come on Degsie, you can do it.

Yvette is with Stuart, and Stuart closes a door and Yvette has a break down and starts crying because she is so scared. All very pathetic and over acted.

Karl is with Marcel, whoever that is.

Derek has seemingly disappeared as Karl heads off to the cellar.
And is filming orbs. I will not even waste my time explaining them, if you don't know by now what they are you never will.

The investigation ends, and we get the post investigation comments. I wonder if Derek went home early on the night after he did his little spot? Also in the post investigation comments, Jason Karl reveals that he told ALL of the crew where they were going before the investigation and wonders if the expectations of phenomena and that auto suggestion might have had an effect on people.

Jason Karl then summarises all of the nights events, and gives a skeptical opinion.

This shot of Derek really needs to be made into a meme.

Well the episode ends, and it was an ok episode, the lack of a possession by Derek really hurt the episode, and he hardly appeared in the episode. As such I can only score this a 3/10. Unlike the first few episodes of the season, this was definitely a filler episode.

Review by Jon Donnis

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REVIEW: Most Haunted Shorts Episode 1 - Aired on Youtube 14/06/2019

I'd hoped that I wouldn't have to write another Most Haunted review at least until October, as that is the usual time new episodes are released, but with no official word on a new series airing on UKTV channel REALLY, and me being repeatedly told by the Most Haunted Mole that UKTV are refusing to pay their previous amount per episode for Most Haunted, and threatening to shelve the show completely, we find ourselves at a fork in the road.

Probably about 13 years too late, Karl Beattie and Yvette Fielding have decided to knock up a Youtube Channel for Most Haunted, the thought being that if they don't get back on REALLY, at least they can put their shows online, and perhaps make money from ad revenue, or even by charging people per episode. Imagine if they had done this 13 years ago, they would have millions of subscribers! Instead I expect they will top off at about 50k.

So far their efforts have been a mixed bag, their first full "investigation" was done in portrait mode from a mobile phone, which made it pretty much unwatchable, and ended up with hundreds of complaints, and other uploads just being stuff that was not good enough to make the TV episodes.

Despite the teething problems they have managed to get about 19,000 subscribers, which is a decent amount. And they got about 63,000 views for the mobile phone investigation, but just 29,000 views for a 22 minute "Unseen Vigil" (read that as crap that didn't make the TV). So they definitely lost some viewers. But it is still early days. And there is still chance to grow, so with this being their 3rd go at putting a proper episode on Youtube, and their 2nd "broadcast quality" attempt, I thought I would give it a watch (so you don't have to) and give it my opinion.

Despite them claiming this is a "Short" it is actually only about 5 minutes shorter than a regular episode. Usually without ad breaks an episode runs 45 minutes, take out a minute beginning and end for the credits, and then take out the "previously on" and "coming up on" clips. And an episode really is only about 41 or 42 minutes long. This Most Haunted Short is 37 minutes long. So it is about as good a "test" as you will get as to the viability of having Most Haunted air as an online only entity.

It is also worth noting that they cant fiddle the viewership numbers like they do with the televised viewings.

Blurb:
"This is the first episode of the Most Haunted: Shorts series. The Most Haunted team embarks on another investigation. Can they complete the job without a scratch?"

Well no idea where they are at from the blurbage, maybe they will mention once it starts?

The credits role and in voice over Yvette tells us we are going to two investigations. Karl and Stuart at Hereford Shire Hall. And Yvette and Glen at Ruthin Castle. I think this will be left over footage from this episode from last year that was filmed in June.

REVIEW: Most Haunted (24th October 2018) - Ruthin Castle

There is no walk around, no Yvette doing a piece into camera while walking down a stair case. We are straight into black and white, and the investigation has begun.

I would suggest that when this was filmed, they had no plans for a Youtube channel, otherwise they would have filmed it with that in mind including an intro.

Glen goes into Room 222. This feels familiar? I have wiped past episodes out of my mind, so apologies if you do remember it.

We cut to Karl and he is at Hereford Shire Hall in the Old Cells. This doesn't ring any bells, so maybe this was from one of the episodes I missed?

I'm already regretting watching this. Usually by the time they get into the investigations, the episode is 10 minutes old. This will be hard work.

Glen has gotten his laptop out, he quickly closes down his Google Chrome Browser which had 15 tabs open, all to some site, I could only make out Hamster. No idea what that could be.

We get a replay of what Yvette describes in voice over as a whimper.
If real it could be anything from a crew member to a bird, or even a cat. Or it could have just been added in post production to make what was a boring scene seem more interesting.

I think the reason that a lot of this footage would not have been used originally is because it is all too similar to what else they probably used in the episode.

Out of nowhere Yvette makes a comment about Glen's big potatoes. I assume she is referring to his testicles. (I am not joking, just after 7 minutes). Glen questions her description, and she quantifies it by saying he is "hard".

I have never seen Glen look so pleased with a description of himself before! Big potatoes and Hard! His Christmas has come early it seems.

Back with Karl and Stuart and suddenly there is a noise OFF CAMERA!
They run along a corridor and apparently the noise came from someone rattling a filing cabinet.

Karl recreates the noise, and proves that any human could have made the noise.

Suddenly there is another noise OFF CAMERA, and Karl and Stuart go running again.

I believe the phrase you are looking for here is "Same old, same shit".

In case you forgot the routine, all of this could be proven real if they simply used more than one camera. Put an iPhone on the side and pressed record, anything as simple as that and they prove the existence of ghosts, but of course, despite being 20+ series in, they still haven't thought of that, so the choice here is they are totally incompetent as investigators, or they are lying. I will leave you to make your minds up which.

As Yvette keeps thinking about Glen's big balls, she films his arse as he goes up the steps ahead of her, suddenly he makes a sex noise, she thinks it is a ghost, but he admits it was him. Yvette refuses to accept that it was Glen, and then changes what she heard and makes out it was a growl, the replay proves there was no growl.

Glen is doing his best to act tough to the ghosties.

Worth noting you can clearly hear people talking outside. Instantly this makes any noises they hear worthless, as it could easily be someone outside.

Cause we are on youtube, that means they don't have to edit out any swearing. And Stuart is taking advantage of that.

Yvette has pulled out the Ouija board, and both her and Glen are lightly fingering the glass.

Yvette starts to clearly push the glass, there is no doubt, no confusion, Yvette is just pushing the glass about.

Yvette claims the table is moving, and as you can see it is one of those flimsy fold-able tables, so hardly surprised it is moving.

Now Yvette is swearing!

Yvette stops the Ouija Board as perhaps she realises it is too obvious that it is her pushing the glass.

"Is anybody there? Knock once for yes, twice for no"

With Karl and Stuart, and they are talking to the ghost, even Karl admits there is a car park right outside where they are and they can hear people outside talking and moving about. You can also hear birds tweeting.

We then get a little set up, and it is pretty clear something will happen.

Karl gets into position, and Stuart proudly states he will stay here to get a wide shot, we then get a bang that was clearly not live and added in post production, Karl does his best bit of acting, and apparently a wooden crate moved and banged. OFF CAMERA.

Notice that Karl literally has his Smartphone in his hand, as he is using the light off it as a torch. He could just click record on the camera, and he would have just caught it on camera, instead he is just using the light.

Incompetence or fakery? There is no other option.

They really try to present this as proof of the paranormal. And the idiot fans lap it up.

22 minutes in out of 37 total, and boy am I bored already.

Glen has seen his chance, and moves in for the kill, he starts to seductively stroke behind Yvette's ear.

Just as Yvette is about to Orgasm, her pelvis hasn't been this far apart since childbirth, she gets spooked by something, and for once they actually capture it ON CAMERA!!

Yes Ladies and Gentleman, a GHOST BAT is caught on camera. Yvette says M*ther F*cker. And Most Haunted has hit a new low.

The replays are hilarious, as it keeps replaying Yvette nearly cumming as the ghost bat flies behind them.

The ghost bat has completely killed the mood, and Yvette has clenched up. Poor Glen, he got so close.

Karl and Stuart are stomping about a bit.

Yvette and Glen check the laptop for EVP and the episode pretty much abruptly ends.

10 seconds of credits, a little dodgy voice over by Yvette which sounds like it was recorded on a built in laptop microphone and that's that.

With a bit of effort they could have easily stretched this another 5 minutes and claimed it was a proper episode.

With the last series literally filmed over just 4 nights and then stretched to 10 episodes, they can easily create plenty of content for their Youtube Channel, the problem is not the quantity, but the quality. And I expect that they will churn out any old crap onto the channel, and people will soon stop watching.

To make money on youtube you need millions of views, and even then you face the problem of companies not wanting to advertise on certain channels if they do not deem them to be good converters. (People who click through and then purchase or sign up to whatever is being advertised).

Content that contains bad language means no advertisers of children's products. Channels which feature the occult means no religious advertising. Those are two of the biggest groups of advertisers out the window straight away.

It is early days and if Most Haunted decide to, or if they have no other choice but to go online only, then youtube is their best bet, but if they think they can make money from it, they are deluded.

At best they can film during their Most Haunted Experience tours, use that footage to make up episodes, and put it online for free just to keep the name out there and hope it helps drive people to their live experience tours. Perhaps create enough content to release a DVD every so often. That would be their best bet.

Unless things change and UKTV decide to pay for another series, this could very well be the future for Most Haunted, no more than a youtube show, no different to the hundreds of other similar ghost hunting shows out there.

As a stand alone episode this was poor, and you could understand why this footage never made previous episodes. I give it a 0 out of 10. Don't waste your time.

And no I have no interest in embedding the episode here, or sending them views. If you really want to watch it I am sure you can find it. But let's be clear here, one review of mine gets more views/reads than an episode of Most Haunted will ever get on youtube, even if it is a "short".

If the show moves permanently to YouTube, then I see no reason why I would review it. It simply wouldn't benefit me or this site. But you never know.

Review by Jon Donnis.

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REVIEW: Most Haunted - Guys Cliffe House Pt 2 - Airdate 15/03/2019

Sorry for the lateness of this review, but I completely forgot Most Haunted was on, and only realised when I logged onto Twitter to share a story about a Fortune Teller being sent to jail, and saw someone tweeting about the upcoming fake fest on REALLY.

So let's get to business quickly since this is the last of the series.

Blurb
"Yvette Fielding and her team of reprobates continue the investigation into Guys Cliffe House. With something seemingly stalking the crew, the night ends with a vigorous spirit in a very small room."

As always on this multi part episodes, we start off with highlights, and end up with the cliffhanger from last week.

A scaffold pole has fallen OFF CAMERA.

Karl is pretending it is really dark and cant see anything, despite the fact the image is crystal clear proving that there is plenty of light coming from the camera itself.

Since it happened OFF CAMERA, we have no way of knowing if it was simply kicked by Karl, or pulled with wire etc. After the noise there is enough camera shake and commotion that leaves the viewer unable to genuinely understand how far or close they were.

Some more noises, another pole thrown. OFF CAMERA.

By only using one camera, which is always conveniently filming the wrong way, they can do whatever they like and the idiot Most Haunted fans will believe it.

One for the ladies! Stuart's fat arse.

I remember the days when we had nice shots of Mel Crump's behind, now we get Stuart, and they wonder why the ratings are so low.

They climb out of the cellar, and now they can hear footsteps which could be either Karl or Stuart just making the noise.

"It's evil and powerful" - Stuart Toreville.

Back with Yvette, and we hear a "breath" and we get endless replays.

We then hear a weird noise and again endless replays.

I suspect Fred for both.

Worth noting that you can also clearly hear birds outside.

Ok an important note here, at roughly 13 minutes Yvette clearly states "with morning light soon approaching..." So depending when this was filmed, you would assume that this would indicate a time of early morning, so let's say 3am at the earliest, but could be later. Just keep that in mind for later.

The teams split and Yvette sets up for a seance. Now any time they use a static camera you know to always be suspicious.

Notice the clock above the table.

Does that look like early morning to you? I wonder if we can get a shot of Karl's watch to confirm the time?

They carry on the seance and claim they can hear people talking.
They hear some creaking, Karl claims it's probably his chair despite the fact he is not moving. I wonder if someone else in the room OFF CAMERA is moving about.

Beardy looks out the window, Yvette claims she can feel the table moving. Are you getting suspicious yet? They lied about the time, they have a static camera, you cant see under the table. I wonder what will happen?

Suddenly the table starts to levitate! YES REALLY.

The table is lifted in the air, but it is not by Yvette, Karl or Beardy, the chair closest to the camera, of which you can just see the top of remains still.

How are they doing this?

It keeps moving.

Beardy says they should get another camera to film under the table, Karl quickly shuts him down and says "there needs to be some trust at this point".

The table twists quite far round, so they tell the ghost they will move it back. They then all laugh because the table is heavy and hard to move. They move it and then they screw up.

At 20m00s if you watch on the UKTV website for the time frame, they move the table back, but the chair by the front of the camera moves on its own, almost as if someone hidden under the table is readjusting their position. Whoops.

The shot then ends and they cross to someone else.

Ok, so let's analyse the whole segment, we started with the camera in a static position, at no point could you see under the table, and a chair moved by itself near the camera, and they did not react to it.

This was clearly missed in the edit, or they hoped you would not notice it.

How did they do this? Easy, Stuart is under the table on all fours, he is using his back to lift the table, the table moves exactly as you would expect it to if being lifted that way. This is blatant fakery.

The first thing any real investigator would do the moment a table started moving would be to film under the table, this could be done with any of their smartphones, but instead we have to "trust" them.

We cut back to Yvette and they now are filming under the table since Stuart has clearly moved now.

As the camera is now on the floor, we cant see their hands, and the table starts to move, no where near as much as before, just a bit.

They put the camera on the table, and ask the ghosts to move it. The camera starts to shake and move.

It is literally just Stuart standing there shaking it. Again they have no second camera, so we just have to take their word.

We then get a recorded piece of footage of Stuart elsewhere apparently on his own, just so the viewer doesn't suspect him as moving the table and camera.

If there is just one person watching this who thinks this is all legit then I despair.

We get a clear shot of the clock that says 11pm.

Remember the lie Yvette told earlier about the time!

But maybe the clock on the wall is wrong, it's possible I guess.

Oh wait we have Karl's watch clearly in view.

Flipped around and it shows 11pm.

Look I know this isn't much, but it does show that they lie about the time, this is something I moan about week in week out, that things are filmed out of order, people aren't where they are when they say they are. These are not "all night" investigations like they want to you think.

They turn up at a location, they have a few drinks, something to eat, they film for a maximum of 3 hours, then they go home. That's it.

And in those 3 hours, they get all this activity.
Yet any ghost hunter will tell you they might sit for hour after hour and nothing ever happens.

Most Haunted is faked.

We get the obligatory split screen, despite the fact they only have 2 cameras, we are led to believe that these shots are all happening at the same time.

Karl picks up the camera, and the table starts moving again, clearly he is just pulling it with his spare hand.

We get some footage from Stuart, he is walking about, hearing the odd noise from things being thrown OFF CAMERA.

Back with the table, and ask yourself why does Karl stay so close to them to film. He moves back to get the whole table in shot, but again he doesn't film under the table, as obviously Stuart is under the far corner. They edit the footage which allows them to put Stuart in position, remove him and so on.

They stand up, position the camera to make sure it is not filming under the table of course.
They are trying to prove none of them are lifting it, but no one thinks they were, it is obviously someone underneath.

This is all getting silly now.

We get a quick shot of Fred summoning the devil, that was fun but it was also an important edit so that Stuart could move out of position, for another shot where Beardy picks up the camera and films around to prove no one is there.

I just checked Twitter to see what I assumed would be hundreds of people laughing at the ridiculousness of the episode, and incredibly Most Haunted fans think it is all real.

Karl reveals the whole thing reminded him of a proper Victorian Seance. And yes he is 100% right. They were faked too.

And with that the episode ends, and I am truly saddened that there are people out there that think this is all real.

I give the episode a 3/10
They made an effort to do some fakery with the table moving and camera shaking, however it was so obviously faked (to sane people anyway) that perhaps they could have done it better.


Review by Jon Donnis.

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REVIEW: Most Haunted - Guys Cliffe House Pt 1 - Airdate 08/03/2019

So close but still so far, "from what?" I hear you say, why from the end of this series of Most Haunted. So close I can almost taste it.

I am still trying to find out more about why Karl and Fred fell out, the rumour is that Fred is refusing to bankroll episodes any more (which is why they keep doing multiple episodes in one location to save money), but Fred still had a contract to appear on the show, so Karl was unable to get rid of him.

All this behind the scenes stuff is far more interesting than the show itself, only time will tell where things will end up, but if Karl Beattie can't convince UKTV to buy any more episodes, and no other station wants it, they will simply move the show online and film it at the same time as their live experience tours, or something along those lines.

I did hear there was talk that they would include fans in future episodes simply because they wouldn't need to pay them, and in fact many fans would probably pay to appear on the show themselves.

Anyway, enough with the rumours, lets get on with the blurbage.

BLURB
"Yvette takes her team to the mysterious Guys Cliffe House in Warwickshire, once a private dwelling and now home to the Fraternal Brotherhood of Freemasons."

Summer is over and it is an unwelcome return of the Premier League Managers coat for Yvette.

This week they are in Guys Cliffe House in Warwickshire. Appears to just be an old ruin other than a chapel, so I am guessing the owners want to rent it out to idiot ghost hunters.

Yvette recounts the usual ghost stories that all seem very similar regardless of where they go.

Yvette reveals that much like her own sex life, the property is derelict and abandoned, which is a shame, personally I'd knock the whole thing down and replace it with a mighty erection. The property that is, not Yvette's sex life, although.....

Glen has never been known for his fashion sense, but seriously, the absolute state of him here.

Yvette reveals that there has been lots of accounts of Poltergeist here, so I am guessing Karl will be throwing something later.

The investigation starts, and they have split into groups.

And straight away Karl is hearing noises and getting scared already. Again they use the edited in post production split screen to prove everyone is accounted for, despite the fact they only have two cameras, and scenes are not all filmed at the same time.

But why let facts get in the way of the bleeding obvious.

Glen looks tired, tired of all the chasing.

With Stuart's group again and there is a sound, something has been thrown OFF CAMERA.
A house brick has been chucked. They investigate and find no one hiding, so must be the ghosts.

Yvette is trying to get the ghosts to knock, I am sure they will a little later on.

Glen claims he has gone cold, but then beardy claims the room is roasting and the hottest he has ever been on Most Haunted. They really need to work on getting their stories to match. I think beardy misheard Glen and thought he said he was hot. Whoops.

As Karl walks about he is just kicking things to make noises and then reacting, all pretty pathetic.
He even admits at the end of his segment that he cant see anything and keeps walking into things.

Stuart and his gang are still having things thrown OFF CAMERA. The problem is they are in the ruins part of the property, so basically they are out doors, so even if you 100% believe they are not chucking things, it would be easy for someone on the wind up to be sneaking about and chucking things to wind them up.

"Dear God, I have been a good Glen, I have worked hard, kept to myself, never really caused any trouble, never said anything controversial, I don't even throw stuff OFF CAMERA while filming Most Haunted, but once, just once, can you make Yvette jump on me, maybe grab my butt, or caress my chest, just something I can put in the wank bank for later, if you do, I promise I will be good for ever, and go to Church every Sunday from now on, Amen"

Beardy, Glen and Yvette are still in the chapel, hearing noises, but nothing much really happening.
Yvette is convinced the long bench they are sitting on is shaking, of course us as a viewer have no way to relate to what they are claiming, so what could they do here? Well tell Glen to get off the bench first, then get a marble and put it on the bench, film the marble, does it move? Really simply way to show to the viewer something that the camera cant pick up.

We cross to Karl and as he conveniently looks one way while filming another direction, a door closes OFF CAMERA.

Worth noting here how grainy and dark the footage is from Karl's camera, this is what it really looks like when it is dark, unlike when they usually claim it is dark but the footage is super clear.

Karl is hearing more noises, everything OFF CAMERA.

Pretty much half way through the episode and nothing of note has happened so far.

Back with Stuart and another brick has been chucked, they actually catch it landing ON CAMERA! But sadly not from where it was thrown, which was clearly from outside the tunnel they are in.

For some reason chubby bloke has no idea the difference between a house brick and a masonry slab.

Anyway once again a real investigator would have put a camera on the far end covering the entrance, but this is Most Haunted and they are not real investigators.

Getting quite bored now.

Back with Stuart and he claims that he is not exaggerating when he says that a ghost could kill them.

Karl is trying to get the ghost to close the door, I feel like he is building up to a stunt here.

"Dead God, Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, yes yes yes yes yes, straight in the wank bank, that will last me for weeks, thank you God, I knew you were real!"

They split up the teams again as Glen claims a ghost attacked him and he now has ectoplasm all over his jeans, so he needs to clean it up.

Karl has joined with Stuart, so I can only assume something good is about to happen, probably at the end of the episode as a cliffhanger.

I wonder if Yvette has a bit of trapped wind and needed to crouch to let it out?

Glen has cleaned the ectoplasm off his jeans, and has now found a room he can look at his laptop in. He starts to record for EVPs.

Stuart starts to sing famous R. Kelly song "I Believe I Can Fly" and doing the actions with his hands, Karl quickly warns him that perhaps a R Kelly song is not the best to sing in the current climate, Karl suggests "I wish I could fly by Orville the Duck", as they don't believe Orville has had any sex slaves, raped anyone, or even run a sex cult. But then you never know.

With Yvette and they claim to be hearing knocks etc, but if you listen closely you can clearly hear the sounds of birds, and what do birds like to do? Yep you got it, tap, knock, walk about, generally make noise. EVERYTHING they have heard in this episode that wasn't obviously faked, could easily be put down to birds, And then there are squirrels, they could be picking things up, dropping them, walking about and so on. In an open environment like this, there are zero controls, so to even talk about bangs and knocks is completely pointless on an evidential level.

Stuart claims he cant see anything, not even the wall, despite the fact the camera filming him has a huge light on it, and the picture quality is crystal clear, so they are hardly in anything close to darkness. More lies exposed. Remember what I said earlier, when it is genuinely dark, the picture will go very grainy. When it is clear, there is a lot of light.

Karl asks the ghosts to copy him and whistles, suddenly there is a whistle back. They cross to Yvette and then they hear a whistle too. Probably the same ghost. Well that or they can hear Stuart and Karl whistling at each other.

Chubby bloke keeps saying he can feel cobwebs on him, well yes mate, you are in an old dilapidated building, you probably have walked through a cobweb or two, and you know how once you have walked through one, you just cant get that feeling off you, well that is what you are experiencing, nothing to do with ghosts, well unless my garage is full of ghosts, because every time I go in I get a sensation of cobwebs.

Karl and Stuart both whistle, and make sure they are both on camera at the same time. There is then a clear whistle heard, but they do not react as you would expect in fact they hardly react at all, and if you listen to the audio of the whistle carefully, it has blatantly been added in post production. Naughty naughty Karl. If it wasn't so blatant you could blame it on the birds.

Well they need a cliffhanger, since this is a two part episode, so they asks the ghosts to do something, there is a bang, and the episode ends. Spoiler it was a big pole that was stood upright earlier, and it has fallen OFF CAMERA, because these two idiots were filming themselves.

So the episode ends, and well nothing really happened did it. Some bricks were thrown from an OFF CAMERA position. There was a whistle added in post production, and some birds did what birds do.

Another really poor episode.

I will give it 1/10, the 1 is purely for Glen proving that God exists.

Review by Jon Donnis.

If you would like to show your appreciation for my work and my newly discovered pro feminism, then why not donate an Amazon Email Gift Voucher to me to show your appreciation. I do this for free and I will never try to get you to sign up to a Patreon or other monthly subscription, so the only way I get anything out of writing, or running this site is if people donate.

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By Jon Donnis