I survived hour 1, so now I have some motivation, I thought I would recap and review hour 2. If you haven't read my first review on Hour 1, you can do so HERE.
Let's quickly summarize hour 1.
They fannied about in some rooms and corridors, some things were thrown OFF CAMERA. Mary Beattie called out beardy boy for blatantly faking demonic noises. And that's about it.
Hang on, I could have just written that for my previous review and it would have been equally as accurate. Oh well, we live and learn.
We start off and Stuart is asking Mary if she has her K2 meter on her. Wasn't that the robot dog in Doctor Who?
Straight away it seems that Mary is being given a bigger role in hour 2.
They hear a noise, and Stuart decides they will "walk and talk".
Their K2 Meters are picking up the REM POD thing. [Sarcasm]Boy this is fascinating nonsense.[/Sarcasm]
Stuart, Mary and the other guy start talking about the REM POD and it quickly becomes clear that no one really knows how it works or what it does.
Remember these are "professional paranormal investigators".
If you can gonna do this, and if you are gonna use completely useless nonsense equipment you paid £134 for off Ebay then at least read the manual, and pretend you know what you are doing.
Suddenly we awkwardly cut to Yvette and the rest of the gang back in the court with the Haunties, and by Haunties, I mean virgin males, and their deluded middle aged white female friends.
Yvette has a box, and is claiming she did not want to use this thingy. It is a dybbuk box.
"The dybbuk box, or dibbuk box (in the Hebrew language known as קופסת דיבוק, or Kufsat Dibbuk), is a wine box which is said to be haunted by a dybbuk. A dybbuk is said to be a restless, usually malicious, spirit believed to be able to haunt and even possess the living.
Supposedly, if a dybbuk box is burned, the box will take a long time to do so. But as it is burned, the dybbuk is fully released. However, this is just a part of the horror story."
So clearly its a load of rubbish, so what better place for it to be used than on Most Haunted.
I am guessing she recently saw the film The Possessed, which featured such a box as part of the story-line.
Yvette however seems to be getting a few things wrong in her description of the box.
Behind Yvette is the burnt haunted doll, that Karl set on fire using a £10 fire starter he purchased from eBay.
Karl claims that the dybbuk box is complete hogwash. And he would be right.
Karl tells the story of how they got the box, and where it was found etc. Sounds like he made it himself at home and made up the story himself.
Then in a totally bizarre moment, Karl pulls out a working angle grinder and uses it to open the box. No gloves, no safety glasses, just cuts into the box. Now for health and safety reasons this would NEVER have been allowed on a legit TV show. If the wheel off an angle grinder were to break mid use it could fly off and literally kill someone present. But Karl doesn't care, since this is only youtube. I do wonder what the owners of Accrington Old Courts think of him using this piece of equipment with no safety checks put into place. It's a lawsuit waiting to happen.
He opens it and there is some crap inside, nothing specific looking, some hair, something red, who knows, Yvette claims there is a smell of ammonia
Karl then passes the box around the idiots in the audience, who all then handle it, smell it and basically prove it is a complete waste of time. I expect that this will be the last we hear of the box.
A good shot of the virgins and middle aged housewives in the audience. I bet if you asked them who believed they had psychic powers all of them would raise their hands.
Just remember when they tell you that they are in darkness, look at the size of the light on that camera.
We now have audio of Stuart and Mary, but video from the Court. Lots of insects flying about, so I am assuming the idiots watching were claiming there were lots of orbs.
How fancy they have multiple CCTV streams. Strange how they NEVER EVER use the CCTV on normal investigations.
Finally whoever is producing this, manages to get the picture from Stuarts gang up, and we are back to investigating.
Mary decides to go into a small room on her own and closes the door, notice how she refers to "Uncle Stu". Stuart then makes some misogynistic comments towards Mary. This little thing is instantly forgotten, nothing happens to Mary.
We switch to Yvette and she has one of the audience members with her.
She asks him if he is a believer, and of course he says yes, because why else would he be there.
They have a seance table set up. They take the audience member (Sean) into a cell next door, and give him a copper rod to hold, and then they leave him on his own and go back to the room with the seance table.
The seance table has a Hasbro Ouija Board on it, and is surrounded by copper tubing, and a wire that goes outside and connects to the tube that Sean is holding.
Glen convinces Yvette to sit right up close to him. We all know why.
The table can also spin around as well, so it is clearly a very well gimmicked table.
The three of them touch the glass, and Yvette blatantly starts pushing it about.
As I have said many times, this is all bullshit. You can instantly prove that a Ouija Board is nonsense by blindfolding the people touching it. Suddenly the ghosties can no longer spell if you do.
There are other ways you can prove it is people pushing it, just remove friction between their fingers and the planchette (upturned glass), that can be done with a small piece of silk cloth. Whatever you do, 100% of everything that happens with a Ouija Board is nonsense, nothing to do with ghosts and was invented by Hasbro as a board game in the 19th century. Seriously, google it if you don't believe me, it was nothing to do with speaking to ghosts either.
Darren, Stuart, Karl and Mary join in the nonsense at the table.
Sean is still sat peacefully on his own in the next room like an absolute noob holding his piece of copper.
They are all now touching pinkie fingers.
Poor Sean looking like something out of The League of Gentlemen.
Yvette is trying to get the ghosts to communicate, the table top starts to spin slightly, as you would expect it to with so many people touching it, and with it being gimmicked so heavily.
Although I do not believe Sean is a plant, he was not just randomly picked out of the audience, there are legal things that need to be signed, so he would have been chosen earlier. Again not a big deal, happens all the time on TV just for time saving purposes.
Sean is shivering, but its definitely not because of the cold and the fact he has just a T-Shirt on under an open jacket, at what would have been 10:25pm on a cold October night.
Suddenly the cameraman does some acting and claims the camera cable was pulled. Of course this happened OFF CAMERA despite the fact they have CCTV covering that exact area. Will we see that footage? I highly doubt it.
Instead we hear crappy audio replay from Glen's computer that proves nothing.
Karl swaps positions with Sean.
They restart the seance, the K2 meters on the table are flashing, which is definitely the ghosts and not all the electrical equipment, copper tubes, mic packs and so on all around it.
After being told through his ear piece he is on camera, Karl pretends that he gets a shock from the copper tube, of course this never happened when Sean was holding it.
They try to blame static. They mooch about a bit, Yvette claims she has heard a growl. Karl re-positions with the copper tube.
They restart the seance.
Hilariously they hear a growl and for the first time in Most Haunted history someone (Sean) admits it was his stomach, a clearly disappointed Yvette says there most be something wrong with him. Yes Yvette it is called HONESTY!
Karl claims he can hear a whisper, however the audio is clearly picking up little squeaks which would suggest mice or rats or even a small bird, which would make sense in an old abandoned building.
This hour is dragging. I am struggling here folks.
On the seance table and they are all pointlessly pushing the glass about.
Karl is in the other room swearing at the imaginary ghosts.
Just think if an alien was watching this, he would think what utter idiots humans are.
Karl claims something pushed him back against the wall.
We don't actually see the "push" on camera, as the feed was showing the seance room, so all we see as the camera cuts back is Karl holding his chest, at first I thought he was going to pretend he was having a heart attack, maybe he was then realised he was holding the wrong side of his chest!
Glen points out that it happened just as Yvette had asked the ghost to do something, we then get a lovely bit of dishonestly as Yvette claims she was speaking quietly so Karl wouldn't have heard her, but hang on a moment, Karl and Yvette both have ear pieces in so they can hear each other and the producer. Whoops!
Yvette decides to swap with Karl, proving that she doesn't believe Karl is telling the truth, because if you believed that someone had received firstly a shock from the copper tube, and then a forceful push against a wall that hurt him, the last thing you would do IF YOU BELIEVED, would offer to try it yourself.
Will Yvette finally use her acting credentials to do something interesting? (Spoiler: No)
They start the seance again and Karl is calling the ghost a piece of shit.
This whole segment is mind-numbingly boring. This is a good 30 minutes or so you can fast forward through.
Yvette finally gets bored and they all get up and leave the seance table. So that was a massive waste of time.
Nothing happened to Sean, nothing happened to Yvette, and Karl did some bad acting OFF CAMERA.
Yvette is back in the court room and talks to Sean who is now sat down, she tries to push him to say he experienced things, at best he says he got a bit trembly.
Some other people claim they could hear footsteps in the room. Worth noting there is 50 odd people in that room, plus the security people and other people involved in the "Most Haunted Experience" gig.
The middle aged women are exaggerating their experiences in the court room to impress Yvette.
Yvette takes one of the women and asks her to join them on the next part of their investigations.
We cut to Karl and he is moaning that he saw a proper big geezer (ghost) stood at the other end of the corridor, and it scared him and Darren. All OFF CAMERA of course.
Everyone is re-positioning, the woman who has joined them is called Rachel.
It all goes very amateurish now as they are trying to sort out what to do next, moving cameras and cables about. And with that I decide that that is enough for me for today, almost at the end of the second hour, so I will finish off the review/recap another day.
Hour 2 was better than Hour 1, they made more of an effort, but the whole seance room thing just dragged and dragged and dragged.
The star of Hour 2 was definitely Sean, who sat quietly and did nothing, easily the most credible person to ever appear on the show.
I will give Hour 2 the same score I gave Hour 1, and that is 1/10
Nothing really happened, I lost interest a few times, and there was a general lack of effort from the ghosts to entertain me.
By Jon Donnis
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