I am back yet again for another world exclusive review, recap and spoilers for Most Haunted.
First thing up, let me double check this really is part 2 of the Wentworth Wood House episode, and yes I can confirm it is definitely part 2.
Here is the blurb.
Thursday 16th July, 10pm
Season 02 Episode 07/10. Wentworth Wood House Part 2
Really’s terrifying series continues and this week the Most Haunted team is back at Wentworth Woodhouse, for the second part of their investigation of the property. With the buildings covering a full three acres, the team has its work cut out, as it attempts to find out what is lurking in the dark corners. They encountered the unexpected in their exploration of upstairs in the mysterious and frightening building, begging the question as to what it will find tonight. With all these experiences fresh in their minds, the group sets off with trepidation down the subterranean tunnels beneath the house.
We start off with a quick recap from the truly terrible and boring part 1, and they make out as if it was teh worlds greatest episode! I am guessing they don't bother to watch this crap back.
Anyway I would like to start off with a little congratulations, after wondering what had happened to Leah Walton, I tweeted her and she told me she is currently expecting a baby, which is why she only appeared on the first 3 episodes. She also told me she appreciates the support we have given her.
I wonder if Yvette secretly had Leah impregnated so she would have an excuse to have her removed from the show? #Conspiracy!
Blimey there is a long recap of the previous episode, not saying they are struggling to fill the 46 minutes, but come on!
Eventually we get straight back into the action and Stuart and Karl are down in the depths of the building. Of course some things start getting thrown off camera straight away, Stuart thinks the ghost kids have followed them down there!
If I was a ghost child, I would be playing on my new ghost Xbox!
Stuart is the worst actor, his lines are so forced, Karl is much better at his role, to be fair to him. Again not a single camera just put on a tripod aimed at them, so we can see they are not cheating.
Stuart then decides that they are lost, and doesn't know where he is going, bit like his entire life really. He even claims he is starting to freeze up due to shock. Lots of running about aimlessly, shouting, and generaly sillyness that the idiot fans will lap up I am sure. Again they are trying to pretend its dark, yet quite clearly there are security lights dotted about as well as the bright light on Stuarts high end camera.
Glen, Eammon and Greg are off investigating some area, Glen is smirking.
Yvette goes to join Stuart and Karl, we get a lot of pointing now for a good few minutes.
Yvette points at some twigs on a wall!
Glen smirks
Stuart climbs a ladder!
We next up get a good few minutes of "something thrown, noise, Yvette screams, washe rinse and repeat. NEVER caught on camera.
Eammon and Glen are just stood about looking at a laptop, hopefully they have got some porn on there at least, but don't tell Ruth! Especially if she is in the porno!
We have to hear pretty much every cast member say "this is something like out of a horror film", once fair enough, but everyone has to say it. The only thing like a horror film in an episode of Most Haunted, is the close ups of Yvettes face!
Quite interesting how absolutely nothing is happening near Glen, Eammon and Greg! Yet by Stuart and Karl light bulbs are being thrown, there are noises, and all manner of poltergeist activity!
22 minutes in, and we get a brief break from the monotony. Yvette splits the groups up again and sends them to different locations.
Stuart is getting bored so decides to have a game of peek-a-boo with Hipster guy
Glen looks so bored, that even his smirking game is poor today. Although his hands are in his pockets which is a good sign he is enjoying himself in some aspects.
Yvette calls out "Are there any spirit people here who wants to talk to us?"
Luckily I had my own EVP machine set up, and I can reveal that as she says that a spirit person replied "No, piss off you bunch of absolute morons"
I bet Eammon picked that up too, but will probably get cut from the final edit.
Imagine how disappointing ghosties are, they make all this effort to haunt, and instead of getting serious credible scientists come to speak to them, they get a failed actress/tv presenter, a fake samurai, a bald cameraman, and a hipster. If I was a ghost at a place they investigated, I would chuck things at them as well, and damn sure make sure they never caught any clear evidence of me!
Stuart then turns to Karl as asks. Where is the "Skeptic"
Actual screengrab of Stuart!
I can imagine air quotes were used a lot when casting the "professionals" on this show.
Yvette to Karl 'We need an "Expert" in EVPs'
You get the idea.
With 31 minutes gone, not a great deal has happened, other than Yvette screaming a bit, Karl and Stuart getting lost and throwing some things about. Glen smirked. And Eammon has stood about and looked at porn on his laptop.
Stuart and Yvette are alone together in the wine cellar, Van McCoys The Hustle starts to play in the background, as Stuart starts to gyrate his hips, and thrusts his pelvis towards Yvette. Having not had any action in years, Yvette starts to feel moist. She slowly but seductively moves towards Stuart, with one hand she unzips her coat, the other hand she holds up, and then sucks on her finger. We then cut away to Karl, who has heard a noise.
Back to Stuart and Yvette and things have cooled down, although Yvette still has her huge black dildo in her hand.
Poor Stuart, no wonder he lost all his hair!
Another bang just off camera, screams from Yvette, you would definitely think by now they would come up with some new gimmicks or something, it is so tedious, when it is the same thing over and over again.
Damn these last 5 minutes of the episode are dragging, they are dragging more than Karls testicles on the floor after he gets out of the shower!
There is part of me that wishes Sky would give Antix the rights back to the original Most Haunted format, just so they could get a fake medium on to liven things up!
We then finally get something caught on camera, as a stone/piece of wood or something is thrown at Yvette, of course we don't see where it came from, and no way to know if there was anyone there, Realistically if something was genuinely thrown by a ghost, you would go film where it came from instantly, but not if you are part of the Most Haunted team, if you are part of the MH team you must remember to keep filming your own face, or the floor where the stone landed.
Stuart thanks Greg, sorry I mean the spirit for throwing the piece of wood at them. So pathetic.
Finally the investigation is over, we get the usual replays, and the episode ends, I have also noticed that they have stopped completely having any end segment with the skeptic, guess they didn't want to end with any kind of logical opinion.
Oh well, another truly awful episode.
Please stop watching this rubbish.
By Jon Donnis
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